


Why don't we kill each other slowly?

by 1TheArtOfLosing1



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Academy days, F/F, F/M, Happy Ending, I burnt canon, I guess there’s a lot of angst, I thought, Oh and in this story Lilith is just a normal witch, Read the story you cowards, Slow Burn, They’re still young, What do i smell?, and used the fire to warm my hands, oh yeah, slow burn?, so slightly AU, who attends the Academy of Unseen Arts, why go to therapy if I can write this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2020-08-20 15:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 65,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20230093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1TheArtOfLosing1/pseuds/1TheArtOfLosing1
Summary: “I know you’re here,” Zelda says, tapping off some ashes and letting them fall onto the floor. “You’re always rather obvious.” She stares out in front of her, watching the cigarette smoke mingle with the air around her.





	1. Got secrets I can’t tell

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
Thanks for reading my fic! I have to say that this is the first time I publish one of my stories. Before this I only published one shots so this is all a bit new to me, but I hope you enjoy this anyway! The following chapters will be longer than this one so stay tuned for that. 
> 
> I’d also like to thank my friend Sydney for checking my grammar :)
> 
> Also, Faustus may seem a little ”too nice” in this chapter but that will change... 
> 
> Story title from “Monster In Me” by Little Mix and chapter title from “Play With Fire” by Sam Tinnesz. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Zelda could sense her presence, feel her gaze burning across the back of her neck. She knew that if she were to give in to the temptation to turn around she’d be met by two sinister ice blue eyes trying to pierce holes through her soul. That’s why she didn’t turn around, she kept her gaze forward, gripping Faustus’ arm a little tighter.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, feeling the sudden increase in pressure on his bicep.

“Nothing,” Zelda said, smiling as innocently as she could muster. “just admiring your muscles.” She stroked his arm a little, making sure to flutter her lashes at him in the process.

Her boyfriend smiled in return, the look in his eyes changing as he did. “Wouldn’t you rather be feeling something else?” He asks barely louder than a whisper as he leans forward, his breath tickling the skin below her ear. He pulls back slightly and Zelda looks up at him with mischief shining in her eyes.

Before she has time to respond to his cheeky remark, his lips are on hers. His teeth are pulling and biting before his tongue flicks into her mouth. Zelda returns the kiss just as fiercely, not having lost the feeling of being watched just yet. A shiver runs down her spine as Faustus moves his hand beneath her shirt, pulling slightly at the strap of her bra.

He doesn’t seem to mind the fact that they are standing in the middle of the Academy of Unseen Arts, surrounded by other students and Faustus’ so called ‘friends’. Zelda does mind- not the fact that they are in public, but the knowledge that one person in particular is still watching- so she pulls back.

Faustus frowns at her for a moment so Zelda gives him a little peck.

“Patience, my dear,” she whispers against his lips before stepping back from his embrace. He smirks at her, the kind of smirk that would have made her legs go weak if it hadn’t been for the peeping tom still watching them.

”You’ll pay for that.” He says so only she can hear, lust gleaming in his eyes.

“Promises, promises,” Zelda sighs as she struts off to an empty corridor where she knows her stalker is hiding.

She leans her back against the wall and pulls out a cigarette. With a small wave of her hand, it is lit and she takes a deep drag. The nicotine burns in her lungs and leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. She’s used to it by now.

“I know you’re here,” Zelda says, tapping off some ashes and letting them fall onto the floor. “You’re always rather obvious.” She stares out in front of her, watching the cigarette smoke mingle with the air around her.

Zelda hears her steps and then feels her shoulder brush against her own. Zelda turns her face to where Lilith is standing beside her. Lilith is already looking at Zelda, her face full of sorrow and another emotion Zelda can’t quite place.

“Why are you always spying on me?” Zelda asks, though the answer is clear.

“You know I like looking at you,” Lilith says, a small smile playing on her lipsticked lips. It’s the first time in weeks Zelda has heard her voice. She doesn’t know why she decided to go to her now out of all moments. Now, when there is nothing but a few walls between the two of them and her beloved boyfriend.

Maybe the need to see Lilith had finally taken over her senses to think straight.

“You certainly like to gawk at me when I’m with Faustus,” Zelda chuckles softly.

She seems to be the only one who finds it at least a little funny, because Lilith remains silent. She stares down at her shoes.

She’s wearing black stiletto’s and Zelda finds herself loving the way they accentuate her long, smooth legs. Couple that with the short, figure-hugging red dress she’s wearing and Zelda feels her body temperature rise.

Zelda remembers when those same two legs had been wrapped around her waist. How she had touched them and pressed light kisses to them. There’s this little spot on the inside of her knee that, if touched in the right way, makes Lilith weak as anything.

“I don’t like seeing you with him,” she finally says. For a moment Zelda is too distracted to respond, still caught up in drinking in the hell-sent beauty of Lilith’s legs.

“I noticed,” Zelda half laughs, half whispers when she realises what Lilith had said.

Lilith keeps looking at the ground, not seeming to be in the mood to laugh at her jokes like she usually does.

“I can’t leave him,” Zelda says as she takes another drag from her cigarette, if only to stop herself from touching her former lover. In a way the holder around her finger gives her comfort in this kind of awkward situation.

Lilith nods. “I know.” Zelda had told her more times than she could count.

“Even if you could, you wouldn’t do it.” She looked so small, so vulnerable. She looked nothing like the bad bitch who doesn’t take shit from anyone that she pretended to be. This reminded Zelda just how fragile she truly is. Lilith only showed this side of her when they were alone and it actually made Zelda feel very special when she did.

Zelda opened her mouth to protest but Lilith cut her off. “And I don’t blame you for it. I’m not sure I could do it if I were you.” She sounded so mad. Mad at herself. If only she knew what Zelda had done.

If only she knew the real reason they couldn’t be together...

Zelda wasn’t mad at her. Not anymore. Not once she realised that what she had done was so much worse. Lilith’s misstep had just been a great excuse for her to end it all before it got out of hand. Zelda now figures that it was out of hand from the moment she met Lilith. That had been the moment she caught feelings- a grave mistake. Zelda knew that she wasn’t the one for Lilith. Her sins were too great to ever be forgiven, and that’s why she had tried to let her go. To let her go and be with someone that deserved her, because Zelda sure as hell didn’t.

Lilith didn’t know that, of course. From her point of view, Zelda was still angry with her, but in fact Zelda was angry at herself. She had been selfish for too long. She’d had to call it quits between them ages ago, but how could she do that?

“It never meant anything,” Lilith states, looking up at Zelda. Her eyes did nothing but confirm that what she said was the truth. Zelda knew that, of course. She had never thought it meant anything.

Zelda gave a slight nod, not trusting her voice to say anything right now. Lilith averts her eyes again. Zelda takes one last drag of her cigarette and stamps it out onto the floor. She flicks her fingers and it’s gone as if it was never there. Without her cigarette, Zelda feels terribly exposed. Naked, even.

Lilith lifts her head and Zelda is suddenly all too aware of how close they are standing. Zelda can see how much Lilith wants to touch her. How much she misses her and aches for her, and Zelda is sure that those same emotions are written all across her face as well.

They need to feel each other again. This is the first time they’ve talked in longer than Zelda can remember and it makes seeing her now all the more difficult.

Zelda’s eyes flutter shut when Lilith reaches up and cups her jaw, her thumb caressing Zelda’s cheek softly, as if she was a piece of porcelain that could so easily be damaged.

Lilith has moved so that their chests are pressed against one another. Zelda instinctively wraps one arm around Lilith’s small waist and the other around her neck, pulling her even closer. Zelda can feel her pulse go up and her hands start to sweat. Lilith’s free hand settles on Zelda’s hip and Zelda wonders if it’s going to stay there or if it will move up, or down. She doesn’t know what she’d prefer.

She feels Lilith’s breath ghost against her lips and that’s when her eyes pop open. “Don’t,” Zelda warns, her voice firm and even a bit harsh.

Lilith blinks a few times, her lower lip trembling ever so slightly. “Zelda...” she breathes, making no attempt to move away.

“You’re only making this harder,” Zelda says, impressed by how steady her voice sounds.

Zelda really wants to stay with her. Wants to hold and kiss her like they’re the only ones in the world, but she knows she can’t do that. Not anymore. They had both lost that privilege a long time ago. As a matter of fact, it hadn’t even been a privilege.

It had been Zelda’s egoism.

“I thought-“

“Lilith, I can’t let you touch me knowing you did that same thing to someone else.” Zelda sounded way more accusing than she had intended to and she wanted to cut off her tongue for doing so.

Maybe Zelda is imagining things, but she thinks she can see Lilith’s eyes turn glassy. That’s the moment she regrets saying anything because Lilith looks so... _Hurt_.

Like she had been stabbed in the chest with a dagger, though Zelda doubts physical pain could make Lilith look like this.

Lilith stands up straight, smoothing down her deep red dress before taking way too many steps back and folding her hands in front of her. She draws a deep breath and her face turns stony, as if she hadn’t been on the brink of tears mere seconds ago. “Well I’m sorry to have bothered you then.”

“Lilith-“

She had already teleported away, leaving Zelda on her own.

Zelda slapped the palm of her hand against the wall in frustration. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, rubbing her temples with the tips of her fingers.

She knew that she didn’t have the right to say such a thing, not when almost every night she was sleeping in the arms of another man. She had just needed to say something that would make Lilith stop, because Zelda knew that the moment they kissed, things would escalate. Quickly. And Zelda wouldn’t have the power to stop once that happened.

“Zelds?” Oh in Satan’s name, she didn’t need to see her nosy sister right now.

“Are you alright?” She asked as she stopped in front of Zelda.

“Yes, Hilda,” Zelda said, but of course the sound of her voice told otherwise.

“You sure? I saw you hit the wall and-“

“I am perfectly sure. If you’ll excuse me, I have classes to attend.” Zelda didn’t wait for an answer, she just marched off to her French class.

***

Zelda looked around the classroom and found the seat that Lilith had claimed as hers empty. It was 13 minutes, to be exact, after the bell tolled and she still wasn’t here. Lilith was a very precise person and she never came late so the fact that she wasn’t here could hardly mean anything good. The class was completely full, apart from Lilith’s unoccupied chair, and still Zelda felt so alone without her.

Next to her a guy named Harold tried to get her attention, making clicking sounds and whistling at her. She ignored him for some time but he didn’t stop.

She wanted to put a bloodcurse on him right then and there, but she doubted that the professor would be able to laugh that off as a prank.

So instead she turned her face towards him, giving the little bastard a death glare. He didn’t seem to notice though, or he chose to ignore it. Probably the latter.

”I’m Harold,” he said as an introduction, as if they hadn’t been in the same French class for the past 3 years.

He smiled.

Zelda continued to glare at him.

“I’m no photographer, but I can picture you and me together,” he said, grinning harder.

Satan help her. Did he really think this was going to work? Apparently, his little pickup line didn’t get the expected reaction so he settled for trying something else.

“I’m aware you have a boyfriend, but he sure as hell ain’t as good me.” He stroked his fingers through his too messy black hair, his green eyes never leaving Zelda’s face.

“Good at what? Annoying me?” Zelda replied for the first time.

“No, good in- you know- bed. Obviously.”

Praise Satan, he was too scared to say ‘sex’. She almost started to feel sorry for him when he opened his mouth yet again.

“I mean it’s not like you really love that son of a bitch, right?”

Sometimes she wondered if she did. They got along great. Sometimes. They were both very ambitious, devoted to their Dark Lord and weren’t scared of a bit of carnality. She enjoyed being with him from time to time, but they didn’t have a deep connection or something like that. If she felt anything for him it was lust.

It’s not like she would want to spend the rest of her life with him, but how things were right now, it looked like she was going to anyway. She couldn’t leave him. Probably never. Lilith knew that too. She just didn’t know why. Zelda didn’t want her to know either. That would mean the end of everything they’d ever had. It would tear Lilith’s world apart, but Zelda feared that she already had, considering Lilith’s absence.

Every time she asked herself if she loved Faustus she came down to the same answer: She doesn’t 

Now that was all a tiny bit too personal for her to reveal to this curious twat.

“And what would you know about love?” Zelda answered his question with a question, hoping to get off this touchy topic.

“Nothing, actually. Just as much as you do,” he replied, sinking a little deeper into his chair.

Zelda sat up a little straighter, tapping her pencil against the table. “You don’t know anything about me,” She hissed in warning, almost like a cat that didn’t want to be stroked.

“Well, we could change that,” Harold whispered with a smirk, leaning in to Zelda.

“Mister Barnes, Miss Spellman,” professor Moore called, “what is this conversation about?”

The older warlock moved towards them, his fingertips covered in white chalk. Zelda briefly glanced at the blackboard to see what was written on it.

“This idiot doesn’t understand le passé composé. I was trying to explain it to him, but he’s rather hopeless,” Zelda lied, keeping her usual unbothered tone. Professor Moore looked at Zelda and then at Harold.

“Of course he is, he always is. You never understand anything, do you Mister Barnes?” The professor mocked him.

“I never do, Professor Moore,” Harold agreed easily, faking a little smile at the man who was slightly hovering over him.

Zelda wanted to laugh out loud but the man now turned to her. “Let me give you some advice, miss Spellman,” he stared down at her over the edge of his glasses, “don’t waste your time on helping students that are too dumb to understand anything. You are capable of more than that.”

With that Professor Moore turned around and continued to teach his class, not sparing them another glance.

Zelda left out a breath of relief and looked over to Harold, who didn’t look quite as relieved as she did.

Maybe she should say something to make him feel better, but comforting someone had never really been one of Zelda’s skills. And it’s not like he was worthy of her comfort anyways.

***

A few days pass and Zelda still hasn’t heard anything from Lilith. Nor has she seen her anywhere at the academy. Her absence is beginning to worry Zelda.

Beside her Faustus lies down on the bed, the matras shifting ever so slightly as he does.

“I’m knackered.” He groans as his head hits the pillow. He turns on his side to face her. “What’s on your mind?” He asks, looking almost concerned. Almost.

Zelda remains silent for a moment, not sure if she should be telling him this kind of stuff. Faustus knows about her and Lilith, of course, and naturally he doesn’t approve, but he looks at her as if he’s genuinely interested and she decides that maybe talking about it will make her feel better. Even if it is with him out of all people.

“I haven’t heard from Lilith in a few days. She hasn’t shown up to class either.” She props herself up on an elbow and tries to read his face.

Faustus looks somewhat confused and asks: “You don’t know yet?”

“Know what?” Zelda wonders and she can’t stop the worry from coming through her voice. She’s fearing the worst.

“She transferred a few days ago.” He states, looking surprised that she didn’t know.

“What? Where to?”

“I don’t know.” he shrugs, “Not too far away, I think.”

Zelda lies down again, not sure what to think about that. Not even sure if she really wants to think about that. Had she really hurt Lilith so bad?

“Are you okay?” Faustus brushes a piece of hair away from her face.

She isn’t okay. So she rolls over and pushes Faustus down into the matress, straddling him.

A little distraction is just what she needs...

“Are you really that knackered?” Zelda asks, a sinfull smile playing on her lips as she moves against his crotch.

“Knackered?” His hands grip her arse and he leans up to kiss her, “Me?”

...and Faustus gladly gives it to her.

***

The days passed by, quickly turning into weeks, weeks turning into months, without Zelda ever hearing from Lilith.

Every time a girl would walk past Zelda, wearing the same perfume Lilith used to wear, she’d find her heart aching a little. Like her chest was too tight and her heart about to burst.

Zelda remembers how Lilith used to lie besides her at night when they were together, waiting for her to doze off. When she thought Zelda had fallen asleep, she’d softly caress her face, tracing all the lines and soft freckles and whispering stories about her life into the dark. When Zelda woke up, the only evidence of Lilith ever being there were the wrinkled sheets on the other side of her bed and the smell of lavender and honey that she always left behind.

She used to feel Lilith’s magic clouding in a soft summer breeze, or her sadness in the raindrops on a misty, dark night. When Zelda wasn’t feeling well, it was like the sun was shining a bit brighter.

In some way, Lilith always knew when Zelda needed her and even if they couldn’t physically be together, she always sent Zelda a sign. Zelda used to find a certain sort of comfort knowing that Lilith was there. She was always there, even after they broke up. Sometimes she was like a tormentor, because no matter how fond Zelda was of always feeling her near, it was also torture. A constant reminder of what she was missing. It didn’t make the ache in her heart any easier.

Now though, she didn’t feel her presence anymore.

And Zelda was going to do something about it.


	2. No way that you’ll see me cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit by bit, brick by brick, she could feel her wall come tumbling down. Never in her entire life had Lilith felt so scared. So scared to lose the only thing that gave her a feeling of safety and security. The wall she had worked so hard for to create, was crashing down as if an army was bombarding it. But it wasn’t an army. No, it was Zelda Spellman. 
> 
> The woman who made her feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
Here’s the second chapter, I hope you all like it as much as the first chapter, because DAMN! Everyone was so nice about it!!! I never thought so many people would read it and leave kudos/comments!  
Getting a notification about someone leaving a kudo or comment makes my day, so thank you for everyone that left one <3 I love you all! 
> 
> I hope this chapter doesn’t disappoint. The plot will really start in the next chapter, this one is more Lilith’s point of view about everything. 
> 
> Also, this chapter’s grammar hasn’t been checked by my editor (because I wanted to post this as soon as possible) so forgive me if you find any mistakes. English isn’t my native language. 
> 
> Chapter title from “Too Good At Goodbyes” by Sam Smith
> 
> Enjoy!!!

The last thing Lilith heard before she teleported away was Zelda calling her name. She needn’t have bothered though, because at this point, nothing would have made Lilith stay. There wasn’t anything more pathetic than crying in front of Zelda  
Zelda who always pretended to be cold and heartless. Lilith did that too, of course, it was a way of self protection and a very effective one  
With Zelda however, Lilith had always felt like she didn’t need to pretend. Like she could truly be the softie that she deep down was. But, no matter the circumstances, Lilith had never cried in front of Zelda, and Zelda had never cried in front of Lilith. Somehow, they both liked it that way.

Lilith had always thought of crying as a weakness. An unnecessary emotion. Crying never solved problems, if anything, it only made things worse. It clouded ones power to think straight and it blurred your vision, making everything look more awful than it actually was.

For years, Lilith felt like she had lost the ability to cry.  
Nothing seemed worse enough to shed her tears for, and even if it was worse enough, she just couldn’t do it. No matter how bad she wanted to, no matter how glassy her eyes turned, not a single tear would roll down her face. She just couldn’t do it anymore. Too much shit had happened in her life. She had built the wall around her so high, that nothing seemed to be able to break it. She felt safe and secure behind her little barrier. Untouchable.  
Like there wasn’t a thing in the world that could harm her.

At least, it had been like that until she met Zelda. Bit by bit, brick by brick, she could feel her wall come tumbling down. Never in her entire life had Lilith felt so scared. So scared to lose the only thing that gave her a feeling of safety and security. The wall she had worked so hard for to create, was crashing down as if an army was bombarding it. But it wasn’t an army. No, it was Zelda Spellman.

The woman who made her _feel_

Since Zelda had broken up with her, Lilith hadn’t been able to stop crying.  
And who could blame Zelda for doing so?  
Because Lilith, foolish as she was, had slept with another witch. She had tried to blame it on the amount of alcohol she had consumed that night, but Lilith very well knew that she hadn’t been that wasted.  
She had been perfectly aware of what she was doing and that what she was doing was so wrong. Yet for some reason, unable to stop herself or the other girl.

There had been this voice in the back of her mind that kept saying that Zelda and her still hadn’t labeled their affair after months of going out, and neither had they discussed monogamy. The voice kept saying that she wasn’t doing anything wrong and that Zelda would do the same if she had seen this beautiful witch at the bar.

Now she realises how wrong that voice had been. Zelda would never have done what she did. Zelda was faithfull and loyal to her, even if they hadn’t labeled anything.  
The worst of all was that Lilith hadn’t been able to confess anything to Zelda before she found out herself, because she had walked in on the naked girl, laying in Lilith’s bed. The amount of hurt that had flickered across Zelda’s face had been enough for Lilith to hate herself and for tears to spring in her eyes for the first time in longer than she could remember. Luckily Zelda had stormed off before the first tear made its way down Lilith’s cheeck.

Before Zelda had the chance to see the last piece of Lilith’s wall come tumbling down.

The only thing that came out of Zelda’s mouth was the question if she wasn’t enough. Lilith didn’t get the chance to reply though, and even if she had, no sound would’ve been able to emerge from her throat.

She hadn’t been sleeping in her own bed since that night, not being able to even look at it without feeling disgusted with herself.  
Without Zelda’s disappointed face looking at her all over again.

Lilith fell to the ground, wondering how Zelda had been able to shatter her wall so quickly. She immediately started sobbing, feeling like her heart was literally breaking into a million pieces. With every sob, breathing became harder and harder. As if all the oxygen in the room had left like Zelda had.  
Lilith wanted to scream. To cry out as loud as possible, but her dry throat prevented her from doing so, not a sound was able to interrupt her constant stream of violent sobbing. No words in any language could explain the way her heart ached. The way she longed to hold Zelda safe and sound in her arms.

Lilith wanted to go back to the days before she messed everything up. When they were happy and not a thing in the world seemed to be able to ever take Zelda away from her. Now she knows how wrong that hope had been. The only thing that’s left of those days, are sweet memories, but for some reason they taste a lot more sour now. Maybe it’s because she realises how she had taken Zelda for granted and that she hadn’t cherished her enough.  
How she hadn’t acknowledged her beauty and her playfull smile enough.

Lilith wondered when the incredible heaviness of her heart and the unbearable tightness of her chest would go away.  
If they would ever go away.

_“Lilith, I can’t let you touch me knowing that you did that same thing to someone else.”_

As if Lilith wasn’t feeling guilty enough already. She knew she deserved to hear it because it was simply the truth, but it didn’t make the stinging pain in her chest any easier. She had touched another girl in the same way she used to touch Zelda and Lilith can’t imagine how much that must’ve hurt her.  
She had never thought of it that way, always assuming that Lilith had simply broken Zelda’s trust. Obviously she had, but it was so much deeper than that.

Lilith was physically hurting, feeling a throbbing pain go through her entire body. Her lungs seemed to collapse inside of her and she began to feel lightheaded, until she wasn’t aware of her surroundings anymore. She didn’t see anything in front of her eyes except tears clouding in front of them and black spots closing her vision. Lilith didn’t know how much time passed but out of a sudden she started to hear a peeping sound. She didn’t know what it was or where it came from, but suddenly, everything around her faded into darkness and she fell into nowhere.

Not even aware that she was falling.

***

Lilith opens her eyes after blinking a few times and is immediately blinded by the light coming from one of the chandeliers hanging on the ceiling. Lilith abruptly sits up straigh and is punished for it by a pounding headache.

“Easy there, Lilith.” She hears a voice from across the room.

Lilith looks to where the sound had come from and finds Margaret sitting on her bed on the other side of the room with her back resting against the wall, brown eyes fixed on the book she is holding.

Of course, out of all people Margaret was the one to be sitting here with her.

“What happened?” Lilith asks softly, more to herself than to Margaret. She lifts her hand to her forehead and finds it covered in sweat, only now realising that she is laying in bed.

“I don’t know.” she shrugs, “I just found you on the floor with your eyes wide open. For a moment I thought you were dead.” The other girl says, eyes never leaving the pages in front of her.

Lilith thinks for a moment and then it all comes flashing back to her. Zelda had once again reminded her of what she had done, she had teleported away to the dormitory and must have fainted on the spot. She remembers starting to see black spots but everything after that just felt like she had been asleep.

It was kinda nice, she hadn’t properly slept in ages.

“How long-“

“Few minutes, I think.” Margaret now looks up at her, closing the book and throwing it somewhere in front of her on the bed.  
“You were sweating really bad. You left a stain of sweat behind on the floor.” She softly chuckles, seeming to find the whole situation rather amusing.

Lilith feels the sudden urge to shower.

“What happened?” Margaret repeats the same question Lilith had asked earlier, concern written all across her face and suddenly Lilith feels so mad at her.

“Why do you even care?” Lilith snaps, looking at Margaret like she wants to throw something at her head.

“Lilith-“ Margaret looks stunned, like she can’t understand where Lilith’s unexpected change of emotion came from.

“You are the reason all of this is happening!” Lilith pushes the covers off of her body and swings her legs over the edge of the bed. She stands up and for a moment the room starts to spin around her and she feels like she might fall over.

Margaret is quickly by her side and steadies her. Lilith pushes her away.

“Get off!” Lilith shouts so loud the entire academy might have heard.

Margaret stands frozen for a few seconds, looking completlely startled. Her skin is even more pale than usual and her eyes look like they could pop any second.

Lilith doesn’t care.

“This is all your fault! Without you Zelda and I would still be together!” Lilith’s voice echoes through the pentagon shaped room as she gives Margaret a deathglare.  
If eyes could kill...

Lilith didn’t realise she had started crying until she felt tears roll over her chin and onto her neck.

What a day. First Zelda tramples her heart and now she humiliates herself by crying in front of Margaret. Now that’s simply great.

“Lilith, you’re upset, I understand but-“

“But what, Margaret?” Lilith shouts in Margaret’s face, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“What in Satan’s name is going on in here?”

Both witches look towards the door and see the high priest standing there, his brows furrowed in anger or confusion. Lilith wasn’t sure. Probably a mix of the two.

“Just a little disagreement, Father.” Margaret answers before Lilith has the chance to say anything. Probably for the best.

“Really?” The high priest now steps towards them, the frown never leaving his face, “Are you crying, Lilith?” He asks as if he can’t quite wrap his head around the idea of Lilith crying.

Neither could she, actually.

Lilith wipes her tears rapidly, smoothing down her dress and putting on her poker face.

“No, your Excellenty. I’m just sweating.” She smiles but even she knows that it hardly looks convincing.

“Sweating? In December?”

Lilith nods and swears she hears Margaret’s internal sigh.

The high priest looks at them both for a few seconds, not sure if he should believe them or if he should dig a little deeper.

“Well then, I expect you two to sort out your differences and attend your classes.”

With that he turned on his heel and marched off, not seeming to be in the mood to pay their little fight more attention.

Lilith glances nervously at Margaret, who is looking quite relieved, before she runs after him as fast as her legs could carry her.

“Your Excellenty?” She calls before he has the chance to disappear down the next corridor.

“What is it now, Lilith?” He sighs, clearly not pleased with behind held up.

“There is a matter I’d like to discuss with you.”

The high priest turns fully towards her and tiltes his head a little, looking slightly curious.

“Somewhere in private?” Lilith suggests. She knows that these halls and corridors aren’t exactly the best places to have a private conversation, there is always someone trying to overhear something.

“I have lots of work to do, just tell me now.” He says impatiently as he glances down at the watch that’s strapped around his left wrist.

“Well... “ Lilith takes a deep breath, “I’d like to transfer.” It comes out more like a question than a statement.

She couldn’t stay here anymore. Through the week she shared a room with both Zelda and Margaret and everytime those two girls were in the same room, you could cut the tension with a knife. Even the other witches started to wonder what was going on between them and had probably made up 101 theories about it by now. That was hardly the worst though, because if she looked at Zelda she remembered what she had lost, and if she looked at Margaret she remembered why she had lost her. If she kept living this way she would never be able to move on with her life.

The high priest just peers at her for a few moments, looking unsure about why she made the request.

“Does that arguement with Margaret have anything got to do with it?” He finally asks.

“Yes and no.” Lilith says, because how can she possibly explain to him why she wants to leave. She barely knows it herself. Something inside of her had just snapped and told her that she needed to leave. That it was over, and that it was the best thing to do.

He gives her a look that tells her he’d like to hear more. Unfortunately, Lilith wouldn’t like to tell more.

“I don’t wish to talk about it, if that’s alright.”

The high priest stares down at her, looking unsure, but then he nods, “Very well then. Anywhere in particular you’d like to transfer to?”

“Maybe The Church of Shadows?” She asks, she hadn’t really thought it through all that much and it was the only place that came to mind.

“Good choice. I’ll get to it first thing in the morning.”

Lilith grins as a wave of relief hits her, like she can finally breathe again, and bends her head, “Thank you, Father.”

She turns around but the high priest stops her in her tracks.

“Lilith?”

“Yes, your Excellency?” She asks, facing him once more.

“Are you sure about this? I don’t like to see one of my finest students leave.”

Lilith lets out a small breath, and gives him a polite smile.  
“I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life.”

“Of course.” Lilith thinks she can see a shy smile ghost over the high priest’s face, but it’s gone as soon as it had come. Lilith knew that determintation was a characteristic he had always admired about her. “Just remember that there will always be a place for you here at the academy.”

“I know.” She gives him a final nod before she turns around again and retreats to the dormitory, wondering why out of a sudden he sounded so sentimental.

“You’re transferring?” Margaret gasps from the moment Lilith enters the room.

She should’ve known Margaret was eavesdropping.  
That nosy bitch always needed to know everything about everyone.

“Yes, I am.” Lilith bends down and pulls her suitcase from underneath her bed.

“Is it because of me?” Margaret asks, she almost sounds like she feels guilty.

She very well should.

“Oh don’t flatter yourself,” Lilith laughs her off as she begins to throw her clothes-which are quite a lot-and belongings into the suitcase, “if this was about you I would’ve gotten rid of you ages ago.” She added.

“You’re not being fair!” Margaret hisses from behind clenched teeth, coming to stand closer to Lilith.

“Maybe I’m not,” Lilith shrugs, “but it’s not like you deserve such a thing.”

That’s when Margaret’s palm meets Lilith’s cheek. Lilith’s jaw drops, her eyes go wide and she looks up at Margaret, who’s eyes are raging with fire. Lilith is sure she can feel Margaret’s magic clouding in the air, like a deadly gas. She had never seen Margaret like this. Usually she is a quiet, patient and kindhearted person. Usually.  
Lilith guesses most people are until you push the right buttons, and pull the right strings.

“I don’t deserve to be treated like this! Don’t forget that it was me who tried to help you when all that shit with Zelda started!”

Lilith swings her hand and hits Margaret in the face.

“Don’t you dare to talk about Zelda! You have no right!”

“And what right do you have?” Margaret chokes out a hollow laugh, stroking her hand over her red cheeck, “You are the one who cheated on her!”

Lilith blinks, all emotions draining from her face. For a moment she is too dumbstruck to react. Time around her seems to have frozen and all of a sudden, all anger she felt towards Margaret disappears, as if it had never been there. She is only angry at herself, because what Margaret said was true. It wasn’t her fault that Zelda had dumped her. It was only her own fault. She had made a misstep. Hell, Margaret hadn’t even known about Zelda at the time.  
There wasn’t anyone to blame but herself.

“Sorry.” Margaret apolagises, clearly noticing how bad her statement had affected Lilith.

“You’re right.” Lilith whispers, feeling her eyes turn wet again. Her voice sounds so cracked she can barely believe it is hers.

She quickly takes hold of all her stuff and teleports home, hearing Margaret mutter something but paying her no mind. Once she stands in her livingroom she drops everything to the ground and stumbles over to the couch.  
She feels a tear slip from her eye.

“Shouldn’t you still be at the Academy?” Stolas crows.

“I’m transferring.” She says trying to sound as cold as possible, “I can’t be around Zelda any longer.” She wipes away her tear and leans back against the couch.  
She hardly needs to hear Stolas’ judgement about her love life.

“I told you that staying around wasn’t a good idea.” The raven chuckles, clearly enjoying her misery, “You should’ve left ages ago.”

“And did I not tell you to keep your mouth shut about Zelda?” Lilith warns.

Her familiar seems to have set his mind on pushing his luck tonight, because he doesn’t stop in the slightest.

“You were only torturing yourself. Zelda is now in a happy relationship with a warlock that could easily be the next high priest. Don’t you think he suits her better than you do?”

Lilith looks up at the bird, who gives her challenging eyes. He was trying to push her over the edge for some reason, and unfortunatly, he managed to perfectly. Stolas had never been one to give up when he thought he was right. But neither was she.

“Shut. Up.” Lilith commands, her voice telling him that whatever he would say next would have consequences.

Not that he cared of course, because he continues: “At least he doesn’t cheat on her.”

That was it. She had enough.

With a quick Latin spell, Stolas started to cry out as his feathers seemed to be plucked one by one, before falling to the ground. His throat got tighter, as if he was being strangled by Lilith’s hand, and no sound was able to escape from him anymore except his soft panting. The raven’s chest got squeesed together by his mistress’ magic, until finally, there was no more room for his heart to beat.

His corpse fell off the armchair he had been sitting on and onto the floor.

After a short moment of sweet victory, Lilith remembershow she had been sweating, so she stands up from the couch with shaky legs, and ambles to the bathroom, aching for a shower. Not giving her now dead familiar another look. As she is about to go inside, her eyes catch sight of her closed wooden bedroom door. She hasn’t been in there since her one night stand with Margaret, sleeping on the couch whenever she was at home.  
That room held too many bad memories.

It was like the room was calling for her, begging to be entered. So, without thinking twice, Lilith stomps inside the room, smacking the door shut behind her with a single kick of her foot.  
The blinds are still partly shut, the sheets a big mess and Lilith can smell the faint scent of dust. After all, it had been months since the door to this room had been opened.

Lilith feels a sudden rush of anger run through her body and next thing she knows, the window shatters into pieces and the cold wind hits her face.  
She swaggers over to her desk and pushes it over, all the papers and books, that had been laying on it, tumbling onto the floor. She takes hold of the chair that had been standing behind the desk and with one swift motion throws it against the nearest wall, enjoying the sound of the loud bang. Lilith picks a book off the floor and throws it at the large mirror standing in the corner of the room, letting out a loud scream as she does.

She needs to destroy this room and hopefully, every memory that clings to it in the proces. Lilith can’t stand it anymore. Everytime she looks at the door she sees Zelda’s face. How hurt and broken she had been.

Then she went for the bed. She gathers the sheets in her arms and tears them apart, before throwing the pillows through the broken window. She then pulls at the matras and tosses it onto the floor, kicking her high heeled foot against it a few times.

She heaves a few seconds before turning towards the closet and opening the doors with a snap of her fingers. Her energy seemes to be renewed by taking a few deep breaths.  
She launches herself at the few clothes that are still in there, scattering them all over the room and tearing pieces off of some of them.

The sound of breaking seams is music to her ears.

But then she finds something she didn’t expect to find. A black turtleneck sweater.  
Zelda’s sweater. Lilith stands still, her chest still going up and down at a heavy pace, holding the soft fabric in her hands and feeling her eyes turn wet again. She lifts it to her face and inhales. It still smells of Zelda. Faint, but her scent is still there.

It’s enough for Lilith to start crying.

She slowly slides down to the floor, holding the sweater like it’s a lifeline and breathes it in a few more times as her mind drifts off to the good memories that are attached to it.

***

_“Are you really wearing that?” Lilith asked, sipping her coffee and frowning at her lover._

_“What’s wrong with it?” Zelda wondered as she looked in the mirror once again._  
_ It must’ve been the fourth time that morning._

_“It leaves nothing to the imagination.” Lilith stated, setting her coffee down on the nightstand and joining Zelda in front of the mirror._

_“At least I’m wearing something. That can’t be said about you.” Zelda grinned. Apart from some knickers and a bra, Lilith was buck naked. And it wasn’t even her own underwear._

_“Well it’s not about me, it’s about you.” Lilith waved her off._

_“It has a turtleneck and long sleeves!”_

_“And it is tight and barely covers your belly,” she wrapped her arms around Zelda’s waist and let one hand wander off to rest on her perfectly shaped bottom, “and don’t get me started on the skirt you’re wearing with it.”_

_That short denim skirt was going to be the death of her. It was tight, short and had small rips in it._

_“Lilith, I have an oral exam. This is the perfect outfit to get a good grade.”_

_“Like you need any tricks to get a good grade.” Lilith huffed. Zelda had always been one of the finest students at the academy, outsmarting her professors all the time._

_Zelda smiled as she turned around and cupped Lilith’s face in her hands, “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”_

_”I’m not being jealous, I simply don’t want some old, dirty warlock to gawk at you. That’s all.” She protested._

_It made Zelda giggle and Lilith could feel her heart turning into liquid as she returned Zelda’s wide grin._  
_ With Zelda looking at her like this-her adorable little teeth on display, a sparkle in her eyes-she felt like she really mattered. Like she finally belonged somewhere._

_She leaned in and Zelda met her in the middle, kissing each other soft and slowly._

_They had all the time the universe would give them, and what better way to spend it?_

***

The Church of Shadows was alright.  
The teachers were ‘good’, the lectures just as boring and easy as in Greendale and the food slightly better. At least, if Lilith wasn’t counting the one time some kind of larva had crawled out of her dessert.  
Not that she was eating much anyway.

The academy was full of hot warlocks and even hotter witches, which of course, Lilith enjoyed greatly. However, none of them seemed to be able to satisfy her in any way that Zelda used to do. They weren’t nearly as beautiful, talented, smart, powerfull, funny, and simply perfect, like Zelda.

And it made Lilith miss her more than ever.

She barely did anything these days. She barely ate, hardly slept, and if she had ever studied, she didn’t do that anymore either. The few times she managed to doze off, she dreamt of Zelda. Her mysterious smile, mischief filled eyes and the sound of her throaty voice. Lilith thought hearing Zelda scream her name out from beneath her was wonderfull, but the sound of her joyfull laughs were so, so much better. The most perfect sound she had ever heard.

Guilt was consuming her to the bone.  
Every task seemed too much of an effort, like every last piece of energy had left her body when Zelda had left her.  
Lilith tried to do things she loved, like reading, listening to music, testing her magic and every now and then, killing a mortal that she didn’t find worthy to be alive any longer. Alas, none of those things could give Lilith her energy back, nor could they lift her mind away from Zelda.

She didn’t smile much any more either, always snapping when someone tried to talk to her. It was like any kind of social activity was too much for her nowadays. She only wanted to know how Zelda was doing, if she was alright, if she was okay. But she couldn’t do that anymore, not since she cheated on her with Margaret. An action she deeply regretted.

She knew Zelda would never forgive her. How could she? What Lilth had done was awful, one of the worst things you could do to someone. Zelda’s trust must’ve been broken into pieces and Lilith knows from expierience, that once trust is broken, it’s nearly impossible to restore.

Lilith thought watching her be with Faustus Blackwood hurt, but this was so much worse. Not knowing if Zelda was okay, what she was doing with her life or if she even spared Lilith a thought every now and then. She wondered if Blackwood was treating her right. Somehow she knew he wasn’t because if he was, Zelda would be able to leave him and she couldn’t.

Lilith had asked Zelda and herself so many times why that was, but never had she received an answer. Not a usefull one anyway.

_“It doesn’t matter anymore now, does it? You’ve had your chance.”_ Zelda had told her the last time she asked.

But it still mattered to Lilith. She was worried. She wanted to know what that prick was doing to Zelda to keep her in his power, because Lilith knew that Zelda never did something she didn’t want to do, unless she had no choice. Lilith feared that in this scenario, Zelda had no choice but to stay with him. It made Lilith wonder what dirt he had on her that was worse enough to make Zelda give up a piece of her free will.

That’s why she decided to do a little research herself, because she knew for sure that Zelda wasn’t going to tell her anything. Lilith needed to be sure that Zelda was safe and taken care of. She needed to know that letting her go was the right thing to do, and that in fact Zelda was really better off without her, because right now, she didn’t believe it for a second. If Zelda wasn’t able to make her own descisions something must be terribly off and it made Lilith feel terribly uneasy.

Maybe she was digging her own grave, but Lilith never enjoyed life all that much anyway. At least not without Zelda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was this okay? Idk, let me know pls. If you want to reach out to me on Tumblr, feel free to do it! @immacryyowzah
> 
> Comments and kudos motivate me to write so if you liked this, you know what to do ;) 
> 
> Thanks for reading my fic and hopefully I’ll see you in the next chapter (when the plot really starts!) xoxo


	3. I’m not all that you got

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my fic!  
I can’t believe people are actually reading and liking this, but it’s a great feeling! I am so excited to hear what you guys will think of the end of this chapter so let me know please :)
> 
> Chapter title from “We Are Young” by Fun ft. Janella Monáe
> 
> Enjoy <3

It had been little over two months since Zelda had last seen Lilith. Two months of Zelda thinking about how things should go on from now, how she could move on with her life.  
She missed Lilith like she was missing a limp, like she wasn’t complete, but there wasn’t anything she could do about it. Zelda knew she needed Lilith in her life, more than anything else, but she couldn’t think of a way they could be together. The worst was that all this time Zelda knew that Lilith had never given up hope. Hope that Zelda had given her. Hope that they could get back together when in fact Zelda knew that simply wasn’t a possibility any longer. Maybe it had never been. Zelda needed to apolagise for everything she had done, even the things Lilith didn’t know about. She wanted to clean her conscience as thoroughly as it could get.

That’s why Zelda teleported to Lilith’s house. It was Saturday night which meant that Lilith should be home from the academy by now.

She knocks on the door of the cottage, the trees around her waving slightly as the chilly evening breeze blows through them. The moon shines brightly alongside billion of stars, making the sky light up like a halo above her head. Spring would come around soon enough and it almost made Zelda sad. She loved winter. She loved the feeling of being outside in the cold, with the warmth of a soft sweater as the only barrier between her and the frost. Here and there are some spots still covered with snow that has fallen last week and hasn’t melted yet. Where it has, grass and flowers try to stand up again with renewed strenght after freezing cold months. Behind her, Zelda can hear the soft rustling of various tiny animals, pattering over the shriveled leaves on the ground, and somewhere she hears an owl cry.

It was truly a beautiful night.

A few moments pass, but there doesn’t come a peep from inside the little house. She feels disappointment wave over her, because it had taken her a lot of courage and sleepless nights to get here. So when her efforts aren’t rewarded, she feels utterly lost, not knowing what she should do  
Maybe it’s a sign from Satan that she should turn around and go home. Back to her life, family and Faustus, forget about Lilith. If it was a sign, the Dark Lord and her both knew that she wasn’t about to listen to it.

She knocks again, louder this time, but still, without receiving a response. Zelda looks around, pacing up and down the front porch for a little while and subtly glancing through the window. She doesn’t see any signs of life inside the cottage though. Zelda considers her options for a moment. She could go home and forget about Lilith, or take a look inside the house.

With a snap of her fingers, the frontdoor opens, she steps inside and closes it behind her. The first thing she notices is that the usual homey scent of Lilith’s house is now replaced by a musty smell. As if there hasn’t been a single soul in there for quite some time. She goes into the livingroom and it seems dead and abandoned, Zelda can see a thin layer of dust laying on top of the wooden furniture. On the couch are a small pillow and a thin blanket laying around, like someone had slept there. Zelda frowns before making her way down the corridor.

The door to the bathroom is open and Zelda pokes her head inside. There isn’t a single sign of Lilith to be seen which Zelda finds very odd since Lilith spends half of her life in this very room. She is a very clean girl, Zelda has to give her that. She looks inside the small cupboards and sees that they’re totally empty. Lilith’s rich collection of shampoo’s, bathsalts and scented candles, is gone. Her makeup that is usually standing on a small shelf above the sink, isn’t there anymore either. The bathtub and shower are both dirty, which is very strange since Lilith pays a lot of time to cleaning her house- more specifically, her bathroom.

Zelda’s brows furrow once more as she exits the room. The door to Lilith’s bedroom is closed and, Zelda wants it to stay that way. She can remember very vividly what she had seen the last time she had been in there.

The sheets of the bed all messed up and laying partly draped across the tanned naked skin of some girl Zelda knew from the academy. The smell of sex and sweat had been lingering like a freshly sprayed perfume and the air around her had been hot and heavy. The witch had been sleeping peacefully on Zelda’s side of the bed, snoring ever so softly as her chest slowly heaved with every breath she took. That’s when Lilith had entered the room, looking at Zelda like a thief caught redhanded. She’d felt tears rise in her eyes, but there was no way in hell she’d let them fall in front of Lilith. Zelda asked Lilith is she wasn’t enough, because that had been what she felt like. Lilith had seemed to be struggling to find any kind of words so Zelda had teleported away, feeling like she couldn’t hold back her tears for a second longer. She didn’t want to hear Lilith’s response anyway. If she was enough, Lilith wouldn’t have done what she did.

Zelda didn’t want to go in that room ever again, but she knew she had to anyway. The state of the house told Zelda that Lilith hadn’t been here for quite some time and maybe she could find a usefull clue to where Lilith had gone off to. Mentally preparing herself to have a panic attack, she carefully opened the door. As soon as she stepped foot inside the room, she felt like she was about to have a stroke.

The room was completely destroyed. Lilith’s desk had been pushed down, all kinds of papers, books and pencils shattered across the floor. Her chair had been thrown against the wall making a few photo frames come falling down. Across the room both the mirror and the window were smashed into a million pieces and the bed sheets were torn apart, the pillows nowhere to be seen. The matras was laying on the floor alongsides a few clothes that Zelda doesn’t recognize.

She lumbers towards the closet, a slight panic growing in the pit of her stomach. What in Satan’s name had happend here?

All of Lilith’s clothes are gone apart from the ones on the floor and it worries Zelda greatly. Has Lilith really left her home? Why has she gone away? Where has she gone? Zelda quickly checks the other rooms, but nowhere does she find signs of life. Signs of Lilith.  
There isn’t any food in the kitchen either which confirms Zelda’s suspicion that Lilith no longer lives here.

She teleports to her room at the Spellman’s house. Sitting down on her bed, she quickly reaches for the phone on her nightstand. Zelda diales Faustus’ phonenumber and after a few moments, she hears his voice on the other side of the line.

“Faustus Blackwood speaking.” He sounds a little hoarse, as if he just woke up.

“It’s me.” Zelda breathes into the phone huskily.

She hopes he has some answers for her, because if he doesn’t, she doesn’t know who does. As Top Boy, Faustus knows everything about what goes on inside and outside the academy.

“Zelda? Are you alright?” He asks picking up her dejected tone.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” she waves him off “Can I just ask you a question?” Though she fears what he will think of her, she needs to ask him. She knows it will have consequences, but for Lilith there isn’t a risk she isn’t willing to take.

“Of course. What is it?” In a way he sounds slighly worried but on the other hand also very curious.  
He knows something if off, that’s for sure.

Zelda decides to come straight to the point, not having time to make small talk right now.

“Do you know where Lilith lives or where she transferred to or- I don’t know just anything? You must know something!” Her voice comes out way more panicked and desperate than she had intented to, but maybe it was for the better. Maybe he’d realise that this was serious to her.

“Zelda, I told you. I don’t know where she transferred to and n’either do I know where she lives. Why would you even think I know something like that?” He wonders and Zelda feels stupid for even asking him. She should’ve known better. She should’ve known she wouldn’t get a usefull answer out of him.

Zelda shrugs and leaves out a little huf, “I guess I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“I know what you can do.”

Now that sounded better.

“Really?!” Zelda nearly shrieks out of excitement.

What was this woman doing to her? Never, in her life, had Zelda Fiona Spellman shrieked.

“Forget about Lilith. You’re with me now, remember?” He reminds her in a dangerously warning tone.

“‘Course I remember.”  
He didn’t exactly make it easy to forget.

“Really? ‘Cause I think you’re being obsessive with her at the moment.”

“Obsessive?” Zelda repeats the word as if to make sure she’s heard him correctly.

“Obsessive, yes. Don’t you realise? She’s your ex, and she is smart and wise enough to go to another academy so she doesn’t have to see you again. Maybe, you should respect that descission.” His voice is growing louder and louder as if shouting at her is the only way to make her understand what he is saying. Maybe it is, because is that the reason Lilith had left? How did he even know? Had she told him?

“You didn’t know that, did you?” He speakq calm again as if he realises he’d said something he shouldn’t have.

“No, I didn’t. How did you?” She asks, making sure to sound as pissed off as she felt.

“Zelda-“

“No. Tell me!”

For a moment he remains silent and Zelda thinks he’ll stay that way. Why would he want to  
help her anyway? She’s about to end the call when he speaks again.

“There is this witch, Margaret.” He sighs, but continues, “I believe she and Lilith were pretty close, and she told me. She said I had to treat you well because Lilith had left so you could be with me.”

“Is that all she said?”

“I don’t- I don’t remember. It’s been quite some time since that conversation.”

With that being said, Zelda hangs up the phone without saying anything else. She doesn’t need to hear more from him.  
All this time he had known and never told her. Zelda guesses she shouldn’t have expected otherwise.

She teleports to the academy. Once she is inside, she makes her way to the dormitory and looks for one girl in particular. She spots the brown-haired girl across the room, chatting away with another witch. Zelda makes her way towards them and the witches turn to face her.

“Zelda,” Margaret notes with a too polite smile, “what brings you here? You usually don’t stay here on the weekends, do you?”

“No, I don’t, but I wish to speak to you for a minute.” Margaret looks at her for a few seconds before turning to the other girl, who marches off without saying another word after Margaret gives her a small glare.

“Well, I’m all yours.”

Zelda fakes a smile before she starts, “I heard you and Lilith are,” she struggles to find the right word and once she finds it, she’s barely able to get it over her lips, “close?”

“Not so much anymore.”

Zelda frowns.

“Not since she left because of you.” Margaret says as she points to Zelda.

“Ah, I see. And where did she ran off to then?” Zelda asks, trying her hardest to sound unbothered and only slightly curious.

Margaret smiled-almost grinned-wickedly, “You don’t know?”

“Would I be asking if I did?”

Margaret’s smile faded, turning serious.

“She went to the Church Of Shadows and lives at their academy now. She doesn’t go home anymore.”

“Why is that?”

“That’s up to you to find out, sister.” She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, before she turns on her heel, but Zelda stops her.

“Margaret?” Zelda calls.

The witch in question looks at her.

“Did you know about Lilith and I when you two...” she couldn’t finish that sentence.

Margaret shook her head, understanding what Zelda was reffering to, “No. If I did I wouldn’t have hit on her. I promise.” She looked so sincere Zelda had to believe her.

So she nodded, and Margaret meandered off after throwing a shy smile in her direction. Somehow Zelda felt sympathy for the girl. She knew how difficult Lilith could be so the fact that she even tried to be friends with her was admirable.

Zelda looks at the clock hanging on the wall behind her. It’s almost 10 o’clock. Time enough for Zelda to go to the Church Of Shadows. So that’s what she does.

After she teleports outside the academy, she notices that the building seems a lot more small than the Academy of Unseen Arts. The academy of the Church Of Night was known all over the world and it had students from so many different countries, so it had to be big enough to fit all of them in, of course.

She makes her way up the stairs and knocks on the door a few times. The building is made out of dark black bricks, ivy growing against it to the point where it reaches the roof. Beneath a bush at the side of the stairs, a weasel is eyeing her carefully and Zelda doesn’t need to guess to know it is someone’s familiar keeping watch. The witch or warlock it belongs to will most likely be harrowed to death by the other students once the creature is discovered. It’s one of the most embarrassing things that could happen to one in their academy days.

The heavy wooden door opens slightly and an old lady’s head pokes out. Her short, curly hair appears to be dyed in a soft blue tone and a pair of glasses is perched on top of her nose, making her hazel eyes look wide. Her face is full of small wrinkles, especially around the eyes and mouth, but in a way, she still looks beautiful.

“Yes?” The witch asks with obvious suspicion.

“Hello, uhm... I’m looking for one of your students?” Suddenly Zelda feels very nervous with the woman’s piercing gaze upon her.

The witch’s brows furrow and her eyes narrow, “And you are?”

“I’m from the Academy Of Unseen Arts in Greendale.” She tries to smile politely but the woman keeps frowning at her, making no motion to let her inside, “My name is Spellman. Zelda Spellman.”

That seems to ring a bell because all mistrust starts to fade away from the woman’s face as she smiles and opens the door completely.

“Spellman? I heard you and your brother are some of the finest students in this area. Your sister Hilda is very promising in potion-making, if I’m correct.”

The witch twirls around as Zelda steps inside. She’s wearing leather heels alongsides a pair of stockings and a brown sleeveless dress over a white blouse with frills at the chest.  
  
“I’m Mollie Axelby, by the way, and I’m the janitor. Pleasure to meet you.” She smiles taking Zelda’s hand and shaking it with a tight squeeze.

“The pleasure is all mine, Miss Axelby.” Zelda says nervously, not knowing how this woman knows all of this about the Spellman family.

“I did hear your brother likes to mess around with mortals, is that true?” She asks, laying her hand on top of Zelda’s arm. Zelda only now notices the thick accent she has. By the sound of it she is from Northern England.

“I’m afraid it is.” Zelda sighs as she visibly cringes. She has never understood that part of her brother. The part that loves the mortal world and the people there.  
Especially the girls.

The other witch shakes her head, “Such a pitty, innit?”

Zelda shrugs, not seeing his affairs with mortals as a waist, but as disgusting, “I guess so.”

Miss Axelby looks at her with a soft gaze, removing her hand from Zelda’s arm as her wide grin returns, “But you were here to see a student, weren’t you?”

“Yes.” Zelda smiles as she nods her head.

“Alright, who’d you like to see? Let me guess, that handsome warlock named William? If I can give you an advise, my love, stay away from him.” She lowers her voice and leans in closer, “He gets far too many ‘visitors’ and I believe he knocked up at least two girls.” She pulls back and raises her eyebrows at Zelda.

“No, I’m not here to see that William guy. I’m here to see Lilith.”

For a second miss Axelby’s eyes go wide, before she gives Zelda a smirk and a knowing look. “Lilith, eh?”

“Yes...Is something wrong with that?”

“Oh not at all, Sugar.” She folds her hands in front of her but her eyes tell Zelda that she knows more than she is saying.

“What are you not telling me?”

“Me? Nothing!” She says trying to look offended. She fails miserably though. “It’s just,” she leans in closer again, “everone knows Lilith transferred to avoid her ex. And I think that ex, might be you.” She tilts her head, “And by the look on your face I can tell that’s true. Innit, love?”

“Maybe.” Zelda says, trying not to show any emotions. She most certainly doesn’t succeed.

Once again, Mollie steps closer, “Oh, my darling. Are you here to get her back?” Now she sounds like she is pittying Zelda.

“No.” Zelda replies firmly, “I just want to apolagise.”

Mollie leans back, a soft smile playing on her pink lips, “Of course you do.”

With that she turns around and disappears into a corridor, the clicking sound of her heels echoing through the hall.  
Zelda stands there for a moment, not sure if she is supposed to follow her.

“Are you coming or not?” She hears miss Axelby yell, so Zelda quickly hurries after her, making sure to take the right corridor. The older witch leads her through some more corridors and two staircases before they arrived in a small hall with four doors-five if you’d count the one they came through.

“She should be in this room.” Miss Axelby announces as she points to the door on their left. “It’s the library and you probably know as well as I do how much she loves to read.”

Zelda can’t help but smile. They had read together a lot. She remembers it well, Lilith’s head laying in her lap as she read to her while playing with a strand of her dark locks. The last birthday gift she had given Lilith had been a book, ‘Spring Fire’ by Vin Packer.

“Don’t screw this up, dear.” Miss Axelby says as she softly pets Zelda’s cheeck and marches off again, leaving Zelda and her anxiety on their own.

Zelda stands there, frozen like a statue.  
She doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do now, because actually facing Lilith hadn’t been part of her plan.  
The plan had been to find her and apolagise in hopes of finding a peace inside of her.

She needed peace, but as she is standing here, she doesn’t know why she ever thought that doing this would bring peace to her mind. Her nerves are about to explode and she can feel her pulse pounding through her body.  
She takes a few steps forward, looking around her. There isn’t anyone but her and the building is  
so quiet you could hear a needle drop.  
She takes a long gulp of air and feels her lungs come to live, her soft panting the only thing to be heard, and it makes her all the more nervous.

Sending a quick prayer to the Dark Lord, she puts her hand on the door knob. She inhales and exhales a few more times, gathering all the courage she has left and swings the door open. She scannes the room with her eyes, only seeing bookshelves, bookshelves and bookshelves.  
There were also a few sofa’s with cushions on them and a crackling fire in the back of the room. The library smelled like papers and bookcovers, like spilled tea and lost memories. Zelda briefly wonders how many memento’s cling to these books. How many hearts they moved, how many tears they caused to fall and how many smiles they made appear. How many hours the writers spend cursing and crying when the words wouldn’t flow and how nervous they were when their books were finally published.

Zelda sighs, looking around the room once more but not seeing a single soul there. All the students are probably going out right now. She turns on her heel and just when she is about to walk out, she sees a dark figure in the corner of the room and she immediatly recognises her.  
How could she not? Lilith’s every little feature was branded into her memory, like how their names were carved into a three at the Spellman’s yard. It was a little cringey but it sounded like a marvelous idea at the time.

Zelda was going to burn that tree down the moment she got home.

Lilith’s back is laying on the floor, her legs up against the wall and her head resting on a pillow. She is holding a book and Zelda sees her flicking a page.

Zelda stands up a little straighter and steps towards the corner. The sound of her heels catch Lilith’s attention because she tears her eyes away from her book and Zelda is sure she is in the perfect angle to look up her skirt. Zelda sees Lilith’s eyes roam across her body as if she can’t believe she’s actually here. N’either can she, actually.

“You know what they say about women who don’t sit properly.” Zelda teases, if only to start this conversation, that promises to be an akward one.

“And you know that some people actually say ‘Hello’,” Lilith sits up, tucking her legs beneath her, “but it’s nice to see you too, dear.” The petname rolls of her tongue as if nothing has changed between them, and Zelda wonders when hearing her say it became so bittersweet. She catches Lilith’s eyes go a little wider, though.

Lilith closes the book she’s holding and places it on the floor next to her. That’s when Zelda catches the title.

“Spring Fire, eh?” Zelda points out.

“It’s one of my favorites,” Lilith shrugs, “as you know.” she adds, barely louder than a whisper.

“Yeah, I do know.”

It was one of the books Zelda used to read to Lilith, but this one was special. It’s the one Zelda had given her. The last present she had ever given her.

“I love it very much myself.” Zelda sits herself down onto the floor next to Lilith, still keeping a proper distance though.

To make a long story short, the book was about two girls, thinking they were in love with each other, but it all turned out to be infatuation.  
Written by a mortal, but still a beautiful piece of literature. Somehow, Zelda had always felt a connection to the two girls described in the book, though she did not know in what way. She did not want to know in what way, afraid of what the answer might be.

“What happend to your house?” Zelda asks when Lilith doesn’t even acknowledge her presence.

Lilith stares at the wall, entwining her finger in a piece of her curly black hair. “I guess I had a little...fit.”

“A fit?” Zelda shakes her head in disbelief, “More like an outburst.” She chuckles softly, but Lilith remains silent and doesn’t even look her way.

“It’s really dirty out there. Don’t you live there anymore?”

Lilith shakes her head, now fiddling her fingers in front of her, “No. I live here.”

“Why? And what about Stolas?”

“Didn’t like the place anymore. And Stolas is dead, I’m afraid. Has been for quite some time. I burnt his corpse and roasted some sausages over the flames. You should’ve joined me that night, I had real fun.” She says the last part so cold, bitter and heartless Zelda wonders what’s happend to her these last few months. What happened to the caring and loving Lilith she had known.

Zelda’s brows furrow, “Why didn’t you like it anymore?” She doesn’t ask about Stolas, not really wanting to know anything about his death.

“That’s none of your business,” Lilith snaps, finally looking at Zelda, her mouth in a thin line, “and besides, what were you doing in my house anyway?”

“I wanted to see you.”

“Well I’m sitting right in front of you.” She laughs bitterly as she motions her hands towards herself. It’s enough for Zelda to know that she’s angry with her. And not just a tiny bit.

“I needed to apolagise to you, Lilith.” Zelda says softly, and for some reason she wants to reach out and touch Lilith. But she knows better than that and a certain power inside of her is able to stop herself.

Lilith blinks a few times, her mouth falling open and then shutting again. “For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.” She doesn’t look angry anymore, but guilty. Somehow Zelda preffered her rage.

Zelda shakes her head and looks down, “There’s so much you don’t know, Lilith.”

“Then tell me, Zelda!” There was the rage again, making Zelda look up, but it went away as quickly as it had come, “You say you can’t leave that possesive idiot but you never tell me why, but I need to know...” she stops for a few seconds and Zelda sees a wave of sadness flick across her face. She looks desperate. “I need to know that he’s taking good care of you,” Lilith reaches out with a shaking hand and places it on top of Zelda’s knee, “that he’s treating you better than I did.”

Before Zelda has the chance to stop herself, a tear rolls down her cheeck. It was the first time she had ever cried in front of Lilith but for once she didn’t care. Not in the slightest. Not when Lilith was looking at her like this. When she was saying things like this. When she was touching her so soft and tenderly, like this.

“O-okay,” Zelda whispers with a shaky, husky voice, “you’re right. You deserve to know.”

It may not be the wisest thing to do, but Lilith needs to know. She deserves to hear the truth and she better hears it from her than someone else. From Faustus, for example.

Lilith looks stunned, as if she can’t believe she’s actually going to tell her. Lilith smiles at Zelda and she too, can’t stop a tear from tumbling down her eye.

Zelda sniffs, “I don’t know where to start.”

Lilith squeezes her knee reassuringly and Zelda lays her hand on top of Lilith’s, loving the feeling of her skin against her own for the first time in many, many months, “Well-“

“Hey babe!”

Zelda looks up through glassy eyes and sees a girl with blood red hair make her way to where Lilith and her are sitting. The witch bends down and presses a big kiss to the corner of Lilith’s lips.

Lilith looks at the girl as if she sees a ghost and Zelda can feel her heart sink down to her toes.

“Who’s that?” The girl asks, taking a lock of Lilith’s hair in her hand and winding it around her finger.

Lilith starts to stutter and Zelda scrambles to her feet, smoothing down her skirt and wiping her eyes rapidly.

“I need- I need to-“ she doesn’t even try to finish, feeling more tears burn in her eyes. So she does what she always does when she gets too emotional. When her true feelings are surfacing.

She runs.

She runs out of the library, the sound of Lilith’s voice calling her name fading away as she runs through the building. She runs, not knowing where she’s going. Not caring where she’s going. She just needs to get out of here, away from Lilith and whoever that redheaded girl is to her.

Zelda feels so stupid. It had been so stupid of her to think that after all this time, Lilith was still alone. Still waiting for her when Zelda had told her so many times that she should find someone else. Because no matter how long Lilith would wait for her, it wouldn’t change anything about her situation with Faustus.

Zelda runs down halls, corridors and staires, sobbing. She can’t restrain her tears for a moment longer so she lets the tears she’s been botteling up for weeks, fall down. Zelda isn’t even looking where she’s going and that’s when she bumps into someone.

She looks up through watery eyes, blinking a few times. “Miss Spellman?” she recognizes Miss Axelby’s voice, “What’s the matter, love?”

She feels the older woman’s hands on her arms and Zelda lets out a hollow laugh, “I’m so dumb.” She sounds empty, like she is nothing more than a shell of the person she used to be when she was together with Lilith. She has been feeling numb since they broke up, like every piece which made her Zelda, had left along with Lilith.

“What? Darling, that’s absolute rubbish!” Miss Axelby lifted Zelda’s chin with her finger, “Why would you say that? What happend with Lilith?”

Zelda huffs, still avoiding Miss Axelby’s piercing hazel eyes, “She’s with someone else. Another witch.” The words come out of her mouth but Zelda can’t believe she’s saying them. Can’t believe that what she’s saying, is true. Zelda steps back, “So I guess I’ll just have to move on then.”

“Zelda I think-“

“Goodbye Miss Axelby.” Zelda says softly, not wanting to hear the opinion of this too talkative, old witch.

She teleports home, to the Spellman’s yard and she does what she should’ve done ages ago. Zelda burns down the tree Lilith and her carved their names into, and she watches as the wood goes up in flames together with every hope she once cherished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you guys think??? Was this okay?? What do y’all think of the OC’s? Let me know in the comments or on Tumblr @immacryyowzah  
Or if you just want to stan about anything with me, come say hi on Tumblr.  
I NEED MORE FRIENDS!!!!!!
> 
> See you in the next chapter :)


	4. Cut the tree down that we grew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Happy birthday, my dear Lilith!
> 
> You’re another year older now, the first year you and I got to spend together, and I have loved every second of it  
I hope the following years will be just as good as this one, and I hope I get to live them with you.  
I know I don’t tell you this nearly enough, but I really care for you, and I have grown very, very fond of you.  
You are so special to me and I wish you all the good the world has to offer you.
> 
> You know I am not so good with words, but one thing is for sure: My heart is yours, always.
> 
> Have a wonderfull day!  
Your Zelda xoxo”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I’ve been going back to school for 2 weeks and my writing is already suffering because of it. Sorry for the delay, my loves, I hope you’re all still with me. 
> 
> The first few phrases are a bit rusty so don’t mind them, I just didn’t really know how to start this chapter. 
> 
> Chapter title from “Think About You” by Kygo
> 
> Without more talking, I really hope you enjoy this ;)

The first thing that pops to Lilith’s mind when she sees Zelda is: that she simply can’t be real. That it is some cruel joke or that her mind is playing tricks on her, because why, in Satan’s name, would Zelda Spellman be here?  
Then Lilith hears her voice and she knows that it’s really her. No one could ever copy that throaty, rough, edgy voice precisely. But what surprises Lilith most, is that she’s able to reply when Zelda speaks to her, sounding way more confident than she actually feels.

When Zelda recognizes the book she’s reading, Lilith feels happy and sad at the same time. Happy, because Zelda hadn’t forgotten about how they used to read it together, and sad, because this had been the last book they read before everything went down. The last gift Zelda had given her. They had read it together countless times and every time there were phrases or moments that n’either of them could recall. Every time they discovered something new.

Zelda asks her some questions and Lilith finds herself not wanting to answer any of them. She doesn’t even know if she would be able to find answers that explained everything.

As Zelda says she wants to apologise, Lilith feels utterly stunned. Lilith doesn’t know what she could possibly be apologising for and from one moment to another, she is shouting at Zelda. She feels an unexplainable anger in the pit of her soul and suddenly it all feels too much.  
Luckily, she realises quickly enough that shouting at Zelda isn’t going to solve anything, but alas, she can already see the damage of her fury on Zelda.

But then, Lilith succeeds in convincing Zelda to tell her the big secret of why they can’t be together.  
She feels so happy and relieved she could cry. At least, untill Kamrynn and her big mouth had waltzed into the room and screwed everything up.

When Kam almost kisses Lilith’s lips, it only takes Zelda mere seconds to dissapear down a corridor. Lilith runs after her, of course, but it’s like she has gone up in thin air without leaving a single trace.

“What the hell was that, Kam?” Lilith shouts at Kamrynn from the moment she enters the library again.

Kamrynn is standing on the spot Lilith had been sitting, the book she had been reading in her hands.

“Was that Zelda?” Kam asks with a shaking voice, sounding like she damn well realises what she had done.

Lilith nods, fury and sadness flickering over her face, “It’s the first time I’ve seen her since I came here and you scared her away!”

Kam looks at the ground, not daring to look Lilith in the eye.

Lilith storms towards the other witch and snatches the book out of her hands.  
She glances at the page Kam had been reading when she came in the room, and feels mortified when her eyes catch the phrases written in Zelda’s handwriting.

_“Happy birthday, my dear Lilith!_

_You’re another year older now, the first year you and I got to spend together, and I have loved every second of it_  
I hope the following years will be just as good as this one, and I hope I get to live them with you.  
I know I don’t tell you this nearly enough, but I really care for you, and I have grown very, very fond of you.  
You are so special to me and I wish you all the good the world has to offer you.

_You know I am not so good with words, but one thing is for sure: My heart is yours, always._

_Have a wonderfull day!  
Your Zelda xoxo”_

Lilith knows how hard it had been for Zelda to write this. This is the closest they had ever come to opening up to each other about their feelings. They may look like a few easy phrases to other people, but to Lilith they were the most precious, valuable words ever written.

“Let me make it up to you.” Kamrynn pleads.

“How? How the hell do you plan to do that?” Lilith crosses her arms in front of her chest, the book tucked away safely behind one of them.

“I’ll talk to Zelda and explain everything to her.” She almost sounds confident, and Lilith wonders who she is trying to convince of her plan. Lilith or herself?

“You will definitely not do that! You are only going to screw things up more!”

But Kamrynn, stubborn as she is, won’t easily change her mind. She’s already grabbing her backpack.

“Well doing nothing like you isn’t helping either, is it?”

Before Lilith has time to reply, she teleports away to the Academy of Unseen Arts. Kamrynn goes to the dormitory in hopes of finding Zelda there, but there are only a few people, and they certainly aren’t Zelda. The witches tell her that Zelda doesn’t stay at the academy on the weekends and they tell her where she lives. So that’s where Kamrynn goes.

She teleports to the Spellman’s yard, and instantly the smells of ash and smoke fill her nose. Kamrynn looks around to find the source of the burned scent, and sees a dark cloud go up into the sky somewhere between the trees next to the house.  
She runs towards the cloud, zigzagging between humps and holes in the grass, as the smell of fire grows more intense the closer she gets. Birds are flying up from between the trees, crying out as the toxic smoke threatens to suffocate them, and Kam’s vision starts to blur.

Kamrynn starts to cough violently, before she spots a dark figure through tears eyes, standing in front of a burning tree, the dry leaves on the ground catching flame as well.

“Zelda Spellman?” Kam shouts through some coughs as she covers her mouth and nose with her arm. “I’m Kamrynn. Kamrynn Paddock. Lilith’s friend.”

The silhouetess of the flames are dancing around Zelda, who doesn’t even flinch. She just stands there, watching as the fire climbs up to the sky and everything around her turns to ash. Her hands are turned into tight fists.

“What are you doing?” Kam asks, her eyes narrow, though she knows it’s a stupid question.

She hears a hollow laugh come from Zelda, who still has her eyes fixed on the flames in front of her and her back towards Kamrynn.

“Can’t you see? I am burning a tree.” Zelda states, her words sound bitter, her voice sounds broken and hurt, and it seems to affect the fire around them, because the flames go even higher than before.

Kamrynn’s brows start to furrow, as she fails to see what a tree has got to do with this whole situation.  
But she knows there is no time for small talk, so she comes straight to the point.

“There is nothing going on between Lilith and I, if that’s what you think.”

The amount of flames increases visibly, and Zelda makes a sound that Kam isn’t sure whether it is a sob or a choked laugh.

“You don’t have to pretend, Kamrynn.” Zelda spits out Kam’s name like it’s a swear word, “I’ve moved on from her.” but she doesn’t seem to be able to say Lilith’s name outloud.

“Oh, well...That’s a pitty.” Kamrynn sighs.

Kam sees Zelda’s shoulders tense, before she asks: “And why is that?”

Kam waits to answer for a few seconds, noticing how Zelda’s head is turned towards her ever so slightly. Finally, Kam has her attention.

“Because Lilith loves you.” Kam finally says.

With a swift motion, Zelda turns around on her spot by the tree. The fire disappears slowly, leaving a layer of ash and dust behind as only sign that it was ever there. There isn’t much left of the tree. The wood has turned black and the branches have fallen down.

“What?” Zelda asks carefully, barely louder than a whisper.

“She loves you!” Kam says louder this time, as if to make sure that Zelda is really listening to what she’s saying.

“You’re lying.” Kamrynn knows she doesn’t believe her.

Kam throws her head back as she lets out a throaty laugh, “I’m really not.”

“Yes you are!” Zelda snaps, before a bush near the two witches catches fire.  
“I’m afraid that simply cannot be true.” She continues, now sounding calm and collected, and the fire fades away.

“How can you be so certain about that?” Kam asks, cautiously taking a step forward.

Zelda’s eyes seem to wander off, like there is nothing but an empty shell standing in front of Kam. She seems to be going on a trip down memory lane, and it isn’t a pleasant one.

Then Zelda gives a tired shrug, “She never said so.”

Kam pushes her luck and takes a few more steps forward. When Zelda doesn’t react, she carefully places her hand on Zelda’s shoulder, trying to offer her some sort of comfort.  
“And did you?”

Zelda stares at Kamrynn for a moment or two, tears forming in her eyes, but she still manages to hold them back. She doesn’t need to say anything for Kamrynn to know that she hadn’t. Lilith wasn’t one to openly talk about her feelings and Zelda didn’t come across at that type of person either.

“I wasn’t sure if I-“ Zelda blinks, apparently not wanting to finish that sentence, “I wasn’t sure if she felt-“  
Zelda groans and burries her face in her hands, “I messed everything up. I should’ve known better.” She raises her head and shakes it, clearly mad at her self.

“She feels the same way, believe me.” Kamrynn squeezes Zelda’s shoulder, and somehow, her eyes tell Kam that, at last, she believes her.

Slowly, Zelda nods her head.  
“So you two really never...”

“Never.” Kam reassures her, “We’ve only ever been friends. Nothing more than that. I guess I just don’t know the meaning of ‘personal space’.” Kam laughs, though Zelda doesn’t join her in her joy. She stares blankly into nowhere, her face looking rather pale.  
“You know,” Kam starts, and Zelda looks up, fixing her eyes on Kam’s face with curiousity, “I could go and fetch Lilith for you. If you’d like that?”

Zelda smiles sadly, “I don’t think she wants to see me. Not after how I reacted when I saw you two together.”

“Oh Zelda. You don’t know how lilith overreacted when you left.” Kam lets her hand fall down, “She could drink my blood.”

A sorrowfull giggle escapes from Zelda’s throat as her gaze drifts to the ground, like she regrets to many things that neither Kamrynn or Lilith know about. Kam wonders if there’s actually anyone that knows everything about Zelda Spellman.

“Does that mean I can go and get her?” Kam asks, bending her head so she can look Zelda in the eye.

Kam is sure she can see the wheels in Zelda’s head turn as she considers her offer, before a hint of a smile appears on her lips and she answers, “Yeah, if Lilith is okay with it.”

Kam grins, “Good. Stay right here and I’ll be back with Lilith in no time!”

She quickly teleports away, so Zelda has no time to change her mind.  
Kam goes back to the library where she had left Lilith, and finds the witch in question draped across one of the sofa’s, a glass with liquor dangling down her hand.

“You’re not drunk, are you?” Kam groans as she trampes to said sofa. Looking around, she locates a bottle of Irish whisky on the floor close to Lilith, and she picks it up.

“Unfortunately, no.” Lilith turns her head to glare at Kamrynn, sounding like the alcohol had already struck, “But I could be if you would keep your dirty little paws off of my bottle.” She reaches up and tries to get hold of her whisky.

Holding it out of reach, Kam says: “Or, you could come with me and get your girlfriend back.”

Lilith’s hand freezes in midair, her blue eyes growing wide as she stares at the other witch in disbelief.

“W-what?” Lilith stutters.

“If you come with me, you can get your girlfriend back. Is that not what you want?”

Lilith abruptly sits up staight, as she says undoubtedly, “Of course it is!”

“Great, because Zelda is waiting for you right now!” Kam shrieks excitedly.

The glass Lilith had been holding, slips from her hand and shatters on the floor with a clatter.

“Right now?” Lilith utters uncertainly.

“Yes...” Kam frowns, “Isn’t that good?”

Lilith sits there like she’s been struck by lightning, before life seems to enter her body once again, “No, I mean, yes, it’s good.”

“But?” Kam asks.

Lilith shakes her head and raises her hands in defeat, “No buts. I’m just nervous. That’s all.”

Kam eyes Lilith suspiciously, trying to read the witch’s face, but she doesn’t see anything unusual there. Kam knows Lilith is an excellent liar, so she continues her interrogation, “I don’t believe you.”

Lilith sighs, as she strokes her hand over her face, “I just don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

Kamrynn looks at her friend in confusion, “What are you talking about?”

“Seeing her again.”

Kam keeps staring at her with questioning eyes.

“You can’t understand, Kamrynn.”

The redhead shrugs violently, slightly raising her voice, “Maybe I can’t. But Zelda can. So instead of sitting here, pouting like a child, you should go and see her.” She sits down next to Lilith, “Talk to her. I don’t think the two of you did that all that much.”

“Of course we bloody talked, Kam.” Lilith rolls her eyes and moves to sit on the other end of the couch to create more space between them.

“Really talked. About feelings.” Kam sits closer again, not wanting to be brushed aside so fast, “Did you ever do that?”

Lilith mumbles something under her breath.

“What was that?”

“I said we didn’t exactly talk about that.” Lilith states, loud and clear this time.

Kam exhales a deep breath and raises her brows, “Then maybe, it’s time that changed.”

Lilith stares out in front of her, biting her lip softly, before she nods. “Yeah, you’re right.”

She stands up straight, smoothing down her clothes and smiling at Kam with eyes full of hope.  
“Take me to her then.”

Kamrynn grins and jumps up from the couch, taking hold of Lilith’s hands. Kam knows she’s scared to death about this, so it makes her all the more proud of Lilith.

She quickly mutters: “Lanuae magicae” and before Lilith has time to think twice, they’re standing in the Spellman’s yard.

Around them, trees, bushes, grass, and everything that once grew, is dead. It’s all turned to dust and ash. The air smells like fire and Lilith can sense Zelda’s magic lingering in the air. Above them in the sky, the moon shines brightly, eventhough half of it is covered by clouds. Enough light is reflecting from it for Lilith to finally catch sight of Zelda’s face, who’s standing in front of a burned tree that Lilith knows too well. It’s the very same they carved their names into all these months-or even years- ago. It had been such a good day, but the memories of it seem long since forgotten now. Though, Lilith can still remember what she had felt like that day, she cannot recall what had made them do such a mortal, cliche thing.  
But, she still remembers how she had felt butterflies in her tummy. How, in some way, she’d felt like Zelda was finally hers, and hers alone.

And now, it was gone. Burned down. By the smell that was clinging to her, Zelda had something to do it. That’s probably why Lilith could feel so much heavy magic in the air. She knew that when Zelda was upset, she could barely control her powers. Apparently she hadn’t been able to control it today. Or maybe she hadn’t wanted to.

It makes Lilith feel sad, like the last bit of proof that they were real, is gone. Another precious memento of them, went up in smoke. Quite literally.

Zelda looks at her, eyes a mix between sadness and pure happiness. It’s only then that Lilith sees that Kamrynn has already vanished.

“Hi.” Zelda says shyly, she sounds a bit hoarse.

“Hey.” Lilith offers her a small smile.

Clearing her throat, Zelda starts, “I’m glad you came.”

Lilith’s smile widens, and she nods, “Me too.”

“Maybe we could go somewhere else?” Zelda suggests, and Lilith knows exactly why, and it makes her heart ache a little more.

“Some place where Faustus can’t run into us?” Lilith adds.

“Or Edward, for that matter.” Zelda agrees, nodding her head.

Lilith can’t bear it to deny Zelda her request, “Very well then. Anywhere in particular you want to go?”

Zelda licks her red painted lips, her eyes durning a darker green, “Give me your hands.”

Lilith blinks and looks at Zelda like she’s afraid she’d heard her wrong. Touching Zelda’s hands seems so intimate and foreign, she’s not sure she wants to cross that line only to be left alone afterwards yet again.

But Zelda looks at her with shining eyes, a sinfull smile on her lips and Lilith can’t help but obey to her demands.  
She places her shaking hands in Zelda’s waiting ones and takes hold of them.  
Muttering a Latin spell under her breath, Zelda teleports them away.

A chilly evening breeze blows through Lilith’s dark curls, making the hairs on her neck stand up, but Zelda’s hands are still warm, and soft in hers. Lilith hopes she doesn’t let go. Her heart wouldn’t be able to bear it if she did, eventhough holding on to it breaks her heart in more pieces than she could count. Nothing in the world could compare to the feeling of complex simplicity when she held Zelda’s hand.

A specific and salty smell enters her nose and it’s then that Lilith knows where they are.

Crete.

Behind them, there are a few houses made out of stone, most of the lights inside them are dimmed, and somewhere in the distance, Lilith knows a church lies. In front of them, the Mediterranean Sea is moving. The waves are dancing around and Lilith feels her soul calming instantly. Apart from the two of them, the beach seems abandoned. The sky is filled with bright starlight, the sand beneath their feet still a little warm from the sun that had been shining upon it some hours ago, and finally, there is peace in Lilith’s heart.

The sea had always been a cure to Lilith. A way to cope, and to process everything in her life. She liked to think of the sea as her soulmate. They both constantly switched from calm to hell. From soothing and soft, to unpredictable and wild.  
But, like the people around here always say, a smooth sea, never made a skillful sailor.

Lilith feels Zelda’s hands slip out of hers, but before she has time to pull them away completely, Lilith’s grip on them tightens.  
“Can I just hold them for a bit longer?”

Zelda’s eyes soften immediately, a kindhearted smile appearing on her beautiful face.  
“Yeah, of course, but is just one of them alright?”

Lilith nods her head timidly, and lets go of one hand, though, the still holds the other one tightly.

Smiling at Lilith, Zelda sits herself down on the sand, their hands still joined.  
Lilith follows suit and she can’t help but notice the way their shoulders brush as she does.

“You wanted to talk?” Lilith asks, seeing how the small gesture didn’t go unnoticed by Zelda either.

“Yeah,” her eyes flicker over their hands for a brief second and Lilith feels Zelda’s thumb start to caress one of her knuckles softly, “but, I’m not really in the mood for it anymore.” She looks at Lilith apologetically, halting her finger as she seems to realise what she was doing.

Lilith copies Zelda’s movement and starts to move her thumb up and down the back of Zelda’s hand, and somehow, she can feel that her hand still remembers the motion all too well.  
“Me n’either, actually.”

Eyes travelling over her face, Lilith can see Zelda’s bottomlip and chin tremble, “But I don’t want to go home again either.”

Lilith lifts her shoulders in a shrugging motion, “You don’t have to. You can stay here.”

Shaking her head, Zelda sighs heavily, “I really don’t want to be alone.”

“Who said anything about being alone?” Lililth smirks, fluttering her long lashes.

Her brows raise as a large grin spreads across Zelda’s face.

Zelda falls back onto the sand, moving around for a bit until she is in a position she deems comfortable, and closes her eyes. Lilith can feel her back start to ache as she watches her.

“So you’re just going to sleep here? On the sand without a blanket or anything?”

Squeezing Lilith’s hand a little, Zelda cracks an eye open and peers at the other witch, “Are you offering to be my blanket?”

Lilith throws her head back and laughs, thinking Zelda is only joking, but her face is entirely serious. “I was offering to go and fetch you one, but if that’s what you want...”

“It is.” Zelda says softly, almost shyly.

Lilith looks confused for a moment, but then she musters a smile, “You’ve always been the one with the good ideas.”

Zelda giggles and pulls Lilith down on top of her with great force. She’s still grinning when Lilith falls down on her chest, their faces only a few inches apart. For some reason, Lilith expects her body to stiffen. For her anxiety to hit her like never before and for all her nerves to burst. But she feels none of those things. She feels happy and content. The warmth of Zelda’s body against her own is familiar and comfortable. She feels every inch of her relax, as if she was taking a long, hot bath to sooth some strained muscles. Like every bad thing that ever happend to her, never happend and was nothing more but a nightmare.  
That every morning of her life that has yet to come, she will wake up with Zelda by her side.

It feels _normal_.

Lilith’s breath catches as she realises that this is not normal. They broke up ages ago. Zelda still has a boyfriend, they still can’t be together and Zelda still won’t tell her why.

She feels anger rise in the pit of her stomach and she tenses. She tries to hide it, but of course Zelda notices, because she asks, “You okay?”

She isn’t, but Lilith doesn’t want to screw this precious moment up, so she answers, “Yeah, I’m good.”

Trying not to arouse Zelda’s suspicion even more, she lays down on her side next to Zelda. Lilith knows that tomorrow this is going to hurt her heart more than ever before. When they both finally get their senses back and when all of this is over again.

Zelda frowns playfully, “A blanket doesn’t have much use if it is laying next to me, has it?”

After hesitating for a second, Lilith lazily drapes her free arm over Zelda’s waist.  
The other witch makes a pleased humming sound that tells Lilith she wants more. Lilith considers her options for a moment, before she entwines their legs together.

A content sigh escapes from Zelda’s lips as she closes her eyes once again.

Zelda’s legs are warm between Lilith’s and in this moment she feels more wholesome than she had in months. Every time they had been like this comes flashing back to Lilith’s mind and she can’t help but grin like a fool. But no matter how amazing she feels, Lilith cannot deny the feeling of her hurting spine.

“You’re uncomfortable, aren’t you?” Zelda smiles, though her eyelids are still closed.

“Very.” Lilith confirmes, shifting around as far as possible while still holding on to one of Zelda’s hands.

Zelda’s eyes pop open.  
“Try this.” She reaches out for Lilith and pulls her closer. She guides Lilith’s head towards her bosom, and Lilith settles herself against it.

Lilith exhales deeply. Her head is resting on Zelda’s chest, hands still joined and their free arms wrapped tightly around each other. She can hear Zelda’s steady heartbeat beneath her ear, trying to lull her to sleep. Zelda’s heartbeat had always had a calming affect on her. It was like a medicine. The only cure that could heal any wound.  
She breathes in Zelda’s natural scent, enjoying the feeling of being so near to her again all too much.  
Though, Lilith knows this is wrong. This will only make separating in the morning all the more difficult. It feeds the ache in her heart, her inability to move on with her life.

_It gives her hope._

Zelda starts to rub small circels on Lilith’s back, and she can feel her heart start to melt. She realises once again how much she had missed this witch. How much she meant to her.

Lilith feels the pace of Zelda’s breathing slowing, and the hand on her back slips down. The wind around them is cold, but Lilith doesn’t even notice. She’s only focused on the woman below her, and thanking Satan for it.

Glancing at Zelda’s perfect and relaxed face one last time, Lilith closes her eyes and sleep takes her.

And this night, the feeling of Zelda’s body pressed against hers, isn’t a creation from her dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so, I didn’t want to sound too negative at the beginning of the chapter, but do you remember when I said a few phrases? Yeah I meant the whole bloody thing. It’s utter rubbish, I know. 
> 
> I just really tried to make this as long as possible because it took me some time to upload, and now it sucks. So idk do you guys want “long” chapters over a bit longer time, or shorter ones more frequently? Lemme know pls
> 
> Comments and kudos totally make my day, so if you have a minute, I’d love it if you left either one of them :D 
> 
> @immacryyowzah is my Tumblr if anyone wants to reach out to me (which I would LOVE!) 
> 
> Thanks for reading and I’ll see you in the next chapter ;)


	5. Easy Come And Easy Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyaaa everyone!! I know it’s been a while since I updated, but I had to write a whole new story for school so that took most of my time, sorry. 
> 
> Also: WE’RE CLOSE TO THE SECRET REVEAL EEEEE!!!
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this chapter more than the last one, though I feel like my writing is getting way more bad than when I first started this. Idk. Lemme know what ya’ll think pls. 
> 
> Chapter title from “Beggin’” by Madcon
> 
> Anyway,   
ENJOY XOXO

Zelda wakes up to a ray of sunshine warming her cold cheeks. The cool sea water kisses her toes, and Zelda asks herself when the hell she took off her shoes. The morning breeze tickles her face, and she sound of seagulls fills her ears.   
She keeps her eyes closed for a moment longer, enjoying the warmth of the sun that’s shining upon her, and the smell of salt lingering in the air.   
It’s nearly dawn, she can tell. It’s Zelda’s favorite time of the day. It’s when everything is still bright and fresh. A brand new start, an oppurtunity to fix all the messes you made the day before,... Another blessing. 

A wave of cold water splashes against Zelda’s leg and she twitches, her eyes popping open as her nose wrinkles. The sun is still partly hidden behind the surface of the sea, but it still manages to blind Zelda slightly. Though, it’s then that she realises that the warm weight lying directly on top of her, is her former lover. 

Her eyes grow wide and Zelda’s jaw drops as last night’s events come flashing back to her. The happiness she had felt is still ever so present, and so are the butterflies in her tummy. Not that those butterflies had ever left.  
Zelda’s heart starts to ache as she watches Lilith sleep peacefully. She looks so perfect. So calm, vulnerable and fragile. She’s taking deep breaths, laying perfectly still and hopefully dreaming of happy times. Of happy times that Zelda can’t give her. Maybe she did once, but not anymore. 

Ever so carefully, Zelda tries to move Lilith off of her body without waking her, but of course, Lilith’s lashes start to flutter. 

It doesn’t take long for Lilith’s piercing blue eyes to stare up at Zelda, and she can instantly feel a smile creep on her face. This is all she has ever wanted. To spend all her days and nights with this witch. To stay with her through every smile, every tear and just every little thing. 

Lilith smiles back at her and suddenly all of Zelda’s senses return to her, like someone flicked a switch inside her head.   
This is all wrong.   
She knows they crossed so many lines and this will hurt them both so much, but the worst of all is, that she knows she gave Lilith hope. Zelda can see it in the way she’s looking at her, feel it in the radiation her smile is reflecting.   
Zelda gave her hope where there is none. 

Zelda sits up abruply and Lilith falls off of Zelda’s body. She stands up as fast as she can and tries to locate her black heels, but she doesn’t see them anywhere. 

“You’re not leaving like this, are you?” Lilith nearly gasps from behind her. 

“Is there another way then?” Zelda laughs ironically.

Lilith scrambles to her feet, a little unsteadily, “Not like this, at least.” 

Zelda briefly closes her eyes and starts to mutter a spell. A teleporting spell.   
Lilith, as persistent as she is, takes hold of Zelda’s hands as quick as lightning, so that now, they are both standing in Zelda’s bedroom at the Spellman’s house. 

Gasping at Lilith, Zelda rips her hands away and takes some cautious steps backwards. 

“Zelda...” Lilith breathes, her voice almost sounds like she’s begging. But, Zelda doesn’t know what she is begging for. 

“Leave.” Zelda commands coldly, without any kind of affection or emotion to be heard in her voice, or to be seen on her face. 

But, Lilith just stares her in the eye and straightens her spine, before she replies simply: “No.”

Zelda scowls at Lilith, her lips then turning into a thin line and her eyes glowing like hellfire from the pits. Lilith doesn’t even look impressed. She keeps her gaze fixed on Zelda and seems more confident than ever. 

“What?” Zelda asks, her voice warning, and though Lilith pretends it has no affect on her, it cuts through her heart like a sharp knife. 

“I’m not leaving until you tell me a few things.” Lilith states, crossing her arms in front of her. 

Zelda’s eyes narrow as she copies Lilith’s motion and moves her arms in front of her. 

“Like what?” She asks, sounding like she’s starting to feel threatened. 

It takes Lilith a moment to answer, nearly being unable to say his name outloud. “Blackwood.” 

“What about him?” 

Zelda can feel Lilith’s gaze turning more intense. Like she wants to read every tiny expression written on Zelda’s face. 

She swallows and finally asks: “Does he treat you well?” Lilith’s voice is soft, she looks tiny, and it’s like she’s afraid of what Zelda might answer. 

Zelda only shrugs and returns the question with one of her own, “Of course. Why would I be with him if he didn’t?” 

“That’s what I’m worrying about, Zelda.” Lilith’s arms fall down and she looks nothing but concerned. “If he was treating you well, you would be able to leave him, but you aren’t.”

Again, Zelda raises her shoulders, “Maybe it’s because I do not wish to leave him.”

That’s when Zelda can hear Lilith’s heart shatter to pieces and she regrets saying anything at all. 

“But-but you said...” Lilith’s eyes turn teary and Zelda feels so guilty for being the reason why, “you said you wanted to. You said you couldn’t.”

Zelda knows she did. She told Lilith so many times. And every single time it was the truth. But, if she admits that now, Zelda knows she won’t be able to resist Lilith. And if Faustus would find out about that, he’d tell Lilith everything. Zelda was afraid of what Lilith might think of her, of course, but it certainly wasn’t the main reason she lied about it in the first place. All Zelda wanted, was to protect Lilith.   
She did not want to know how badly finding out about the truth would damage Lilith’s heart.   
Plus, if Faustus would tell Lilith everything, he wouldn’t have anything to make Zelda stay with him any longer. So, he would most definitely do unspeakable things to her and Satan knows what he’d do to Lilith after that. Who would protect her then? 

Zelda knows she is going to regret saying this, but it’s the only way to make Lilith go away. 

“Maybe I lied.” She says callously, like seeing Lilith’s expression turn doesn’t make her want to jump off the nearest cliff. 

Lilith blinks away the tears clouding in her eyes and starts to shake her head in disbelief, like she refuses to accept that what Zelda said is true. 

“No, you didn’t.” Zelda now notices how Lilith’s hands have turned into tight fists and her knuckles white, “I know you didn’t.”

“How can you be so sure about that?” Zelda wonders, her heart clenching as she tries to act as careless as she can muster. 

Lilith shivers, “You wouldn’t lie to me about something like that.” her voice is on the edge of breaking, “You’re just trying to make me leave.”

Zelda takes a step forward, maintaining eyecontact as she does. 

“And is it working?” She asks, standing so close to Lilith, she can feel the other woman’s breath on her face. But, it isn’t a steady breath. The rhytm is irregular.

Lilith shakes her head angrily, “No, not in the slightest.” A dry chuckle escapes from her mouth, but Zelda can’t ignore the way Lilith’s eyes look sad. 

So sad. 

It makes Zelda’s heart feel heavy in her chest. 

“My grandfather once said that relationships are like glass,” taking her eyes off of Lilith, Zelda moves past her and with slow, steady steps, she strolls to the window. “It’s better to leave them broken, than to try to put everything back together and hurt yourself in the process.” It’s about the only thing Zelda remembers of her grandfather. He was a wise warlock, she knows, but he never made her feel loved. He always only told her about how hard life is, and how unfair. That she had to be cautious in everything she did, especially if it envolved feelings. Maybe if she’d listened to him more often, she wouldn’t be in this situation. 

Zelda fixes her gaze on the yard, as the memories of her grandfather fade away to the back of her mind. A little rabbit is hopping about in Hilda’s tulips. Her little sister will most deffinetely have a heart attack when she sees the damage the fuzzy creature has brought to her flowers, but he might as well have some fun with them. They turned out quite rubbish this year anyway. Zelda never understood why Hilda always tried to make them bloom this early. Her magic wasn’t too powerfull, and spells for flowers were pretty hard to master. Though, Zelda had to admit, she was getting better with using her powers every time she tried a spell. 

“But there is just a little crack in the glass.” Zelda hears Lilith’s footsteps against the wooden floor, “It won’t be easy, but if you give me a hand, we can glue it back together.” She’s standing behind her, the scent of Lilith’s perfume entering Zelda’s nose, “It won’t ever be the same glass again, but we will still be able to use it like we did before.” 

Zelda turns around and is met by Lilith’s familiar eyes, “Or you could just buy a new glass. Start again, without any cracks or glue.”

Lilith exhales through her nose, a small smile creeping up her dark lips, “Where would the fun in that be?”

Zelda is tempted to give in. To just fall into Lilith’s arms and stay there forever.   
She wants to feel Lilith against her body. Feel that she is actually there and this isn’t some cruel dream she can wake up from at any moment. Last night had been a blessing. A new memory that she would cherish until her heart quit beating and her lungs stopped breathing. But, she knew that it couldn’t happen again. It wouldn’t happen again. 

Lilith needs to leave or Zelda is going to do things she’ll regret. She’ll hurt Lilith even worse and it’ll be even harder to keep her secret from her. Zelda will not act out of selfishness yet again. 

They’re still standing close to each other. Their breasts pressed together and their hands almost brushing. 

Zelda turns around again. She cannot look Lilith in the eye. 

“Just leave.” Zelda tells Lilith, trying to keep her head up high and her voice stable, “Please.” She adds softly. 

“Why do you want me to leave so badly?” Lilith asks, sounding quite dazed and confused. 

Zelda shakes her head, flailing her arms, “Just because!” 

“Zelda...” 

“Just go away!” Zelda is properly shouting now, but Lilith still seems determined to get a decent answer out of her. 

“Not until you tell me why I need to go.” Her voice is calm but Zelda can tell she too, is on edge. 

Zelda groans and strokes a hand through her red curls. 

“Zelda.” Lilith says, like she is a bloody toddler that won’t tell her mother what’s in her mouth. 

“No reason, honestly!” Zelda really does not want to tell Lilith the truth. She just can’t. 

Standing up a little straighter, Lilith raises her voice: “Zelda just tell me!”

When Zelda still doesn’t answer, she places her hands on both of Zelda’s shoulders and turns her around, repeating her command even louder this time: “Tell me!”

Zelda opens her mouth, she knows what she is about to say is a lie, but it is probably the only thing that could make Lilith leave. 

“I never loved you!”

The words taste bitter on her tongue, and the ache in her heart only grows stronger when she sees the look on Lilith’s face.   
It’s a look of pure betrayal and deception.   
It’s like watching everything they ever had come crashing down right in front of her.   
Right in Lilith’s iris. 

It feels like something died inside of her.   
A light.   
All happiness that was inside of her seems to have faded, like leaves blown away by wind. 

“Very well then. If that is what you want.”

Zelda hates how normal she sounds. How natural and unbothered. But, Zelda knows it’s her mask speaking. The mask she mastered so perfectly that it could almost deceive Zelda, if she didn’t know better. 

Folding her hands in front of her, Zelda has to undermine the urge to stop Lilith from leaving. This is what she wanted.  
She needed to stop herself from causing more damage and the only way she could do that was, if Lilith left. 

‘Loin des yeux, loin du cœur’ as the French would say. Out of sight, out of mind.   
Though, Zelda knows it doesn’t work like that for her. The butterflies in her tummy will never die, and somehow, she knows Lilith’s won’t either.   
At least, she hopes they won’t. 

Zelda closes her eyes before Lilith teleports away to Satan knows where.   
She can’t stand to watch her go, but she can feel it the moment she’s gone in the way the air around her shifts. It feels heavier. Like now she has to carry all her burdens alone. Like a part of her left. 

Taking shaky breaths, Zelda leans back against the nearest wall, feeling like she might faint on the spot. She feels sick.   
As if she might throw up at any moment.   
Zelda opens her eyes, wanting to go to the bathroom, but sees the last person she wants to see right now, standing in front of her. 

“Well done, my dear.” Faustus smiles devlishly at her, his white teeth on display.   
He takes slow steps towards her, eyeing her slyly. 

She wants to ask when the hell he got in here and which parts of Lilith’s and her conversation he heard, but no words are able to come out of her. She feels too lightheaded to even properly see. 

“You did the right thing, Zelda. It would only be selfish of you to keep her to yourself.” He’s standing in front of her, brushing a piece of hair away from her face, “Especially after all you’ve done to that poor girl.”

He’s mocking her. She knows that much. And, she knows that what he is saying, is true. Though, it still gives him no right to speak to her in such a scoffing way. 

“I knew you never loved her. It was rather obvious.” Faustus says pityfully, “How would one be able to sleep at night, knowing what awful things they did to the woman they love, isn’t that so?” He blinks innocently at her and adds, “Darling?” 

Zelda’s chin trembles as she desperately tries to hold back the tears clouding in her eyes, and she shakes her head. 

He drags his nails along her freckles covered cheek, “Oh Zelda,” he sighs, “Did anyone ever tell you that sadness suits you well?”

Lilith told her otherwise. 

She said that Zelda’s smile could light up the entire galaxy, and that it was more beautiful than every sunbeam in the world. That it made every bad thing in the world disappear, if only for a few seconds, and that it had a healing effect on her.   
That it was the last thing on her mind before she drifted off to sleep every night, and the first thing when she woke up. 

Faustus says something else after that, but she’s unable to register what, too startled by his sudden proximity. Because, his lips are now on hers. Biting, pulling and demanding. He is fighting to push his tongue into her mouth and she is struggling to fight him off, so she just closes her eyes and let’s him.   
He’s already pushing her up against the wall, wrapping her legs around his waist and sucking at her neck. 

“Zelds, have you seen my- dear Satan!”

Her eyes pop open as Faustus puts her back down on her two feet before he turns around. 

“Hilda,” he greets Zelda’s sister politely, “lovely to see you. How have you been?” He asks, as if he hadn’t nearly been drawing blood on her skin. 

Hilda’s mouth closes and shuts a few times, before she starts to stutter and finally seems to find her voice again, “I’m fine, uhh, you know Edward is downstairs?” 

“Why yes, is that a problem?” 

Hilda laughs nervously, starting to fiddle her fingers, “You know Edward doesn’t like you being here.”

Faustus looks her straight in the eye, his jaw tightening as he takes a step towards her and hovers over the young witch, “Are you asking me to leave, sister Spellman?” 

Hilda’s eyes move briefly towards Zelda, who’s still leaning against the wall and looking rather pale. Considering her sister’s state for a moment, she finally replies firmly, “Yes, I am.” She holds the door open for him, her lips a thin line, “So would you, please, be ever so kind and take your leave, brother Blackwood?”

He turns his head and glances at Zelda, like he’s expecting her to say something, but she only stares down at the floor and shivers slightly. 

Faustus then nods, licking his lips, “Very well.” he gives both sisters one last glare, before he teleports away without saying another word. 

Zelda releases a breath she didn’t know she had been holding and slides down the wall onto the floor. 

Hilda runs to her side and helps her sit upright, uttering apologies, “I’m so sorry, Zelds. I should’ve knocked. Oh dear!”

“It’s alright. This was the first time I’m happy you didn’t knock.” Zelda tries to laugh, but she can’t even convince herself. She feels so numb. 

“Zelds, you’re as pale as a corpse,” she moves her hand to Zelda’s forehead, “and you’re burning hot! Let me get you a potion.” She tries to stand up but Zelda stops her with the last bit of energy she has left in her body. 

“No, it’s okay. Can you just... stay here?” She looks at her sister through teary eyes, and Hilda sits down again. 

“You alright?” 

Zelda shakes her head, “No.” 

Hilda doesn’t ask any more questions, and pretends not to notice the way Zelda’s body is violently shaking. She just wraps her arms tightly around her older sister and stays like that. Zelda is happy and thankful to have the silent company, and for once, she lets her tears fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHERE MY COMMENTERS AT???  
Y’all left me empty handed on chapter 4 and let me tell you, it made me real sad :’(   
But what did you think?? Was this okay or not?? What do you think will happen next? What will Lilith do?
> 
> If you want to reach out to me on Tumblr, @immacryyowzah is my username and I am ALWAY in for a chat about anything :)
> 
> Bye bye my loves, see you in the next chapter <3


	6. So won’t you say you love me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGGGGGGGGGGG:  
Mention of an anxiety attack! It’s only mentioned briefly but I really don’t want to trigger anyone! Also: this chapter is the reason I rated this thing Teen And Up Audiences. It’s not smutt, but again, I wanted to warn you. 
> 
> But, wow. Feels like it’s been ages since I updated. I’ve been really really sick, like, I didn’t eat which means it was a near death expierience bc I LOVE food, so I couldn’t write. I’m sorry 
> 
> Chapter title from “Be My Baby” by The Ronettes. Such a cute song :D
> 
> Enjoy!!!

“I never loved you!” Zelda shouts at Lilith’s face, a vein on her forehead slightly throbbing and her eyes on the brink of tears. 

Lilith cannot believe that was she is saying is true. None of the words Zelda uttered were true. Something inside of her has always known that Zelda loved her, and this definitely would not change that.  
Lilith would have been able to believe that she didn’t love her anymore, but never at all? Maybe it was the way that Zelda used to caress her forehead at night, or the way she gazed at her during classes. The way she would let their shoulders brush when their paths crossed, or how she smiled whenever they were alone together. It were the small things that told Lilith, that she was loved. 

Zelda is for some reason trying to get rid of her. She doesn’t know why, but Zelda seems determined to get her to leave. And, Lilith knows that once Zelda has her mind set on something, she’ll do anything to achieve it. Still, hearing her say it hurts. Lilith isn’t sure if she is hoping it is a lie, because hearing the truth hurts way more, or if she is actually right.  
Lilith knows that if Zelda was saying such awful things to her, something must be incredibly wrong. Zelda would never lie to her like this for no reason, hell, she probably wouldn’t lie to her at all. 

So Lilith leaves. 

But, she doesn’t go far. She teleports to the room next door, Hilda Spellman’s bedroom. The young witch is sitting on her bed, a book in her hands and fuzzy socks on her feet. A grunting laugh escapes from her throat and she doesn’t even notice Lilith standing by the door. 

Lilith clears her throat and Hilda visibly fliches, the book dropping from her hands and tumbling into her lap. 

Her breath catches as she presses a hand against her chest, “L-Lilith? Dear Satan, what are you doing ‘ere? Zelda’s room is the next one, you know?” She tucks her book away beneath her pillow and climbs off the bed, nearly falling onto the floor as she does. After groaning something about why her bed is so bloody high, she gives Lilith a confused look. 

Lilith turns her gaze down to her shoes, not daring to meet Hilda’s stare, and apparently that’s enough for Hilda to put the puzzle together. 

“You’re not here by mistake, are you?” 

“No,” Lilith says softly, her voice a little choked, “I’m not.”

“What happened?” Hilda asks, sounding concerned. She knows Lilith didn’t come here for no reason, and whatever it was, probably wasn’t a good one. 

Lilith stays silent for a moment, not really knowing what happened. So many things happened, and everything went so quickly. One moment they were in the library, the next in the Spellman’s yard, then laying on the beach and now they were here. There is only a single wall between Zelda and her, and still it feels like she’s further away from her than ever before. They crossed so lany lines, took so many steps towards each other...  
But, they took back twice as many as they came. 

“A lot,” Lilith sighs sadly, wrapping her arms around herself, “but I just need to ask you something.”

Hilda’s eyes remain worried, but she gives her a low hum, “Ask away.”

Lilith’s eyes dart around the room, not really knowing how much Hilda knows of Zelda’s and her affair. Hilda had walked in on them countless times, but she isn’t sure if Zelda ever told her about why they split up. Zelda isn’t the type of person to talk about that specific topic, and especially not to her little sister. 

“Do you, by any chance, know why Zelda is with...” she struggles to say his name outloud, her obvious dislike of that particular person written all over her face, “Faustus?”

Hilda’s eyebrows raise and her pink lips part. 

“I don’t know. I ask myself that question all the time.” A high pitched chuckle emerges from her throat as she nervously starts to rub her fingers together. 

Seeming to notice that answer didn’t quite satisfy Lilith’s question, Hilda continues, “He’s the Top Boy of the academy, maybe it’s got something to do with that?” 

Still, that doesn’t seem to be the answer Lilith is looking for, “Or she just thinks he’s hot?” Hilda swallows and her breathing quickens. She’d never felt entirely comfortable around Lilith and talking about her sister’s lovelife to her isn’t making things any easier. 

“You don’t think he could be blackmailing her or something? Maybe he’s got some dirt on her?” Lilith insists through small eyes

“Not that I know of.” Hilda stutters with obvious doubt, her brows furrowed. 

Lilith stares at Hilda, like she is trying to look into her mind. 

Hilda waves her off by doing an offer, “However, I could try to...” she bites her lip, lowering her voice and stepping closer to Lilith, “you know, get something out her?” 

Lilith frowns, “Without Zelda knowing I’m behind it?”

Hilda nods her head excitedly. 

“No offense, but you’re a terrible liar.”

Hilda’s eyes narrow as she titles her head, “Or maybe I’m just such a great liar that you never noticed when I actually was lying?”

For some reason that makes the wheels in Lilith’s head start to turn, needing to think about that statement for a moment.  
It’s exactly what Hilda needs to slip out of the room without Lilith noticing and to make her way over to Zelda’s bedroom. 

A loud shriek, that Lilith makes out to be a “Dear Satan!” fills the air and draws Lilith’s attention away from her thoughts. 

She sneaks out of the room, taking a halt a few feet away from the door to Zelda’s room. Lilith hears a man’s voice reply-though it actually more sounds like the voice of a snake-, and she doesn’t even need to poke her head inside the room to know who it belongs to. 

Faustus Blackwood. 

Damn him. Lilith hasn’t left Zelda for more than a few minutes and he’s already here to reclaim her. 

She can hear Hilda’s stuttering about Edward being downstaires, but Faustus seems to be unaffected by that. He somewhat sounds amused. Even Lilith knows how furious Edward can get when he sees someone with his little sister, and to make matters worse, Faustus and Edward aren’t exactly what you’d call ‘friends’ either. 

Hilda points out yet again how Edward isn’t particulary fond of Faustus being here and Lilith can hear a pair of footsteps. Now it’s like he’s trying to scare Hilda off by turning his voice intimidating and warning, like something bad will happen to her if she doesn’t leave straight away. But now, Hilda is the one who sounds unaffected. At least, she tries to. 

She holds the door open for him and Lilith quickly retreats to Hilda’s room. Lilith hears Faustus mutter a “Very well.” before she can feel his magic teleporting him away. Of course he wouldn’t exit the room the way Hilda wanted him to. 

Lilith hears someone release a deep breath and she knows right away that it’s Zelda. It sounds like one of relieve, but the shaky side of it doesn’t go unnoticed by Lilith. 

Zelda is scared. 

Lilith can feel it in her bones. Feel it in the way the air around her vibrates and hear it in Hilda’s unsteady footsteps, followed by her ramble of apologies and rapid breathing. 

Zelda tries to comfort her distressed sister, eventhough she is obviously feeling quite overwhelmed. But, of course, she isn’t able to convince Hilda, who is already diagnosing Zelda with a near death, by the sounds of it.  
But, then Zelda does something that Lilith would never in her entire life would have expected her to do:

She asks for help. Zelda asks Hilda to stay, and so Hilda does. 

It’s then that Lilith feels like she’s intruding something precious between the two sisters, so she leaves. She goes to the nearest pub, somehow finding comfort in the heavy air that lingers there and the smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke. Three elements that have always reminded her of Zelda. It hurts. But, it is the only proof to her that she is still alive and that her the remaining pieces of her heart are still capable to feel. Even if it’s pain. A numb heart has always been something Lilith feared most, but she was getting scaringly close at having one. 

She knows that everything Zelda said to her was a lie, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. Zelda must have known what kind of an impact her words would have on Lilith, so there must be a serious reason why she said them in the first place. And Lilith wants to know what it is.  
She needs to know.  
Lilith knows that Zelda would never hurt her on purpose, but she also knows that Zelda really did love her. She never doubted that for a second.

But after Lilith left the room, Zelda got scared. She was scared of Faustus. Why would Zelda be scared of her very own boyfriend? There was only one way to find out. To go back to Zelda and to seriously talk to her. Not to interrogate her or make her feel like she’s forced to talk about everything, because that would just make her shut down completely. Just talk to her. 

Lilith decides to wait a few more hours.  
She knows Zelda needs time to recover from everything that just happened.  
Maybe until night falls over Greendale.  
Meanwhile, she drinks a few more whisky’s, eats some packs of crisps and scares away a pack of mortal boys.  
A pretty girl comes her way and Lilith can tell by the look in her eyes that she wants more, but Lilith can’t do it. It would feel like cheating on Zelda all over again and that, she never wants to do again. She doesn’t want to feel that kind of guilt and self-hatred ever again. 

So instead she drinks some more and pretends that the pain she feels in her chest isn’t there. 

***

The sun is starting to disappear when Lilith teleports to the Blackwood manor that is located deep into the Greendale forest. The walls are black on the outside and even the trees around it seem dead.  
A disturbing atmosphere clings to the building, it’s enough to send chills up her spine. A long staircase leads up to the frontdoor, and once Lilith climbed it, she knocks on the door and it doesn’t take long for it to open. 

A bald man in a black suit greets her, a scaringly knowing look on his face, “Welcome, young lady. You must be Lilith?” 

Lilith doesn’t answer, not wanting to confirm or deny anything to this stranger who clearly knows more than she does. She does not like it. 

He chuckles softly, his yellow teeth on display, “Mister Blackwood is expecting you, miss.”

Faustus expecting her?  
How the hell would that bastard know she was coming? 

This can’t mean anything good, but Lilith still doesn’t hesitate when the butler opens the door for her. She isn’t afraid of Blackwood, though maybe, she should be.

She steps inside and the butler leads her through the hall into what Lilith can only assume to be the living room. She can’t be bothered by looking at all the wealth the furniture around her is radiating. She only cares for the wolf-like warlock sitting on the sofa. 

He has a sly smile on his face as he opens his arms in a welcoming motion, “So we meet again.” He stands up and walks to the mantelpiece, taking two glasses and filling them with whisky, keeping a watchful eye on her the entire time, “I nearly started to miss you.”

“Well, that feeling is a one way street, I’m afraid.”

Faustus throws his head back and laughs, “Oh Lilith,” he sighs, pretending to catch his breath, “you always were a funny one.”

Lilith doesn’t even try to make the smile on her lips look like a genuine one, “And you always were an utter bastard.” 

Faustus’ laughter ceases, his eyes burning through her as his teeth clench. He offers her one of the drinks he’s holding, but Lilith doesn’t take it, “I don’t drink with enemies.” 

“And I am your enemy?” He wonders, looking like the statement surprised him. 

Lilith nods firmly, “Yes.”

He downs Lilith’s whisky in one go before he frowns at her, “I fear you’re mistaking me for someone entirely else.”

Lilith narrows her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her chest and tapping her foot against the floor a few times, “And who might that be?”

He smiles wickedly as his accent comes out thick, “Your little ‘gal pal’, Zelda Spellman.”

Lilith bursts out into giggles, but Faustus’ expression never turns. He looks like he is serious, but Lilith knows better than to believe him, “Now, that is a good one.” She scoffs as she points her finger at him. 

“I’m not joking. If you knew what I know about Zelda, I doubt it you’d still be in love with her.”

Lilith wants to say she isn’t in love with Zelda, but that would be a lie even Faustus would not buy, so she settles for something else, “Well, it seems like you still are.”

Faustus’ nosetrils flare before he consumes the other drink too. 

“You’re not really in love with her, are you?” Lilith wonders, but Faustus only stares at her, his grip around the crystal glass tightening visibly, “You just want to possess her.” 

“It’s sad really,” Faustus mocks her, “how jealous you are of Zelda and I. But, I understand.” With a snap of his fingers, a small velvet box appears in the palm of his hand. As he opens it, a large diamond catches the light and reflects beautifully, “Anyone would want to marry Zelda.”

An engagement ring. 

It’s like all air has been sucked out of Lilith’s lungs and someone stabbed a dagger through her heart. He can’t be serious. 

“You’re not- You’re not going to propose to Zelda, are you?” She tries to sound as calm and collected as she can, but it hardly sounds convincing. 

The devlish grin on Faustus’ lips tells Lilith that he damn well knows what kind of effect this has on her, “As a matter of fact, I am. Tonight, to be exact. I’m going to take her to her favorite restaurant, where we’ll eat and drink, and then, I’ll go down on one knee.”

Lilith narrows her eyes, “Edward will rebuke you. He won’t ever allow his little sister to marry you.”

Faustus closes the box and puts it away in his pocket, “I don’t need his permission.”

Her brow creases, “What about Zelda’s?Zelda will never accept your proposal. She isn’t the marrying kind.”

“Zelda knows what will happen if she refuses.” He grins once again and his sharp, white teeth catch the light, “I have her completely in my power.”

That just can’t mean anything good. 

“We’ll see about that.”

Lilith clenches her jaw and presses her lips together, her hands tight fists as she turns away. Sauntering towards the exit, she keeps her chin up, chest out and her shoulders back. She won’t give Blackwood the pleasure of seeing her defeated. 

Once she’s outside, Lilith goes to the place where her last piece of happines lives. The house of the Spellman family. 

She needs to warn Zelda about Faustus. She won’t let Zelda walk into marriage to a total prick with her eyes wide open. He certainly doesn’t have good intentions and this morning his presents alone upset Zelda, so there simply must be something bad be going on between them. 

She walks up the staires with slightly shaking knees, before taking a few deep breaths and knocking on the door. Mere seconds later Edward’s eyes are piercing through her. He gives her a questioning look and Lilith asks herself if he ever even knew about their affair. 

“Lilith, right?” He asks, crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

She nods her head, “Yes, I came to see Zelda.”

“Zelda?” Edward frowns, “That’s odd.”

“Odd?”

Edward shrugs, “Zelda doesn’t usually get any female visitors.”

‘That you know of’ Lilith wants to add, but luckily, she’s able to keep her mouth shut. 

“Edward, who’s there?” Lilith hears Hilda’s voice approaching. 

It only takes her a moment to appear in the door opening with a wide smile, but from the moment she sees Lilith, her face falls. 

“Lilith,” she breathes and it’s enough for Lilith to know that something is terribly off. Edward doesn’t seem to know about anything so Lilith doesn’t mention it, “come in.” Hilda grasps Lilith’s arm and pulls her inside, ignoring Edward’s sounds of protest. 

Hilda drags her along up the stairs and hauls her inside the nearest room, which turns out to be the bathroom.  
Locking the door, Hilda switches the light on, before she nervously looks around the room like she is checking if no one is in there with them. 

She fidgets with her fingers and bites her lower lip anxiously, which only makes Lilith worry even more. Leaning in to Lilith, she lowers her voice and whispers: “Something happened to Zelds.”

“Yeah I got that part, but what happened?” Lilith asks, not even trying to stop her concern from creeping through her voice. 

Hilda sighs, framing her face with her hands, “She had an anxiety attack.”

Lilith’s eyes widen and her lips part, “What?” she stutters softly. 

“I think Zelda had an anxiety attack.” Hilda states, sounding slightly annoyed by having to repeat herself. 

“But... How? When? Why? Is she alright?” Lilith rambles. Why hadn’t she stayed? Maybe she could have helped Zelda get through it. Maybe she just should never have been there in the first place and then maybe it would never have happened at all. 

“I think you already left, but she started sweating, her heart was pounding like crazy and she could barely breathe. I tried to teleport her downstaires so I could give her a potion, but she was feeling so dizzy and shaking so hard, she couldn’t even stand up on her own two feet!” Hilda exclaims, flailing her hands around, “Praise Satan that she’s okay now, but why this happened? I should be asking you or Faustus Blackwood that question.”

Lilith doesn’t respond, knowing that she probably is the main reason of Zelda’s anxiety, though, she also knows that Faustus most definitely has a part in it too. 

“D’you know what?” Hilda folds her hands in front of her, mustering a small smile, “I don’t know what happened between Zelda and you, or between Zelda and Faustus, and I don’t need to know. I don’t want to know. It’s none of my business. But, I need to know that you, Lilith, will try to make this right again, because no matter how much I want to, I cannot help her with this.“ The smile fades off her face and her eyes turn almost deadly, “If I see my sister like that again, there will be heaven to pay for whoever did that to her.” 

Swallowing, Lilith understands that Hilda is far from joking, but she’s glad to know that Zelda has a little guardian angel who’s willing to go to hell and back for her. 

“I know.” 

“Good.” She glares at Lilith for a moment longer, before she giggles and claps her hands together, “Well then, off you go.”

Hilda snaps her fingers and the door opens. Lilith looks at Hilda with uncertain eyes, but Hilda only raises her brows and nods her head towards Zelda’s room.  
With carefull steps, Lilith leaves the safety of the bathroom behind and makes her way over to the room Hilda had pointed her head at. 

Lilith has no idea what she’s going to say once she’ll be standing in front Zelda, she even seems to have forgotten why she came here in the first place.  
Hoping for the best and sending a quick prayer to the Dark Lord, she knocks on the door twice. 

“For the last time, Hildegard: I don’t need a potion, I’m feeling superb and I wish to be left alone.” 

Lilith smiles at the wood in front of her, “It’s not Hilda. It’s me. Lilith.”

A silence follows and Lilith fears Zelda is not going to respond at all. But, then she hears her all too familiar voice coming from inside, “That message goes for your too. I wish to be left alone.”

Somehow, Zelda’s voice doesn’t sound convincing to Lilith. She wants too see Lilith just as much as Lilith wants to see her. 

Lilith swings the door open and finds Zelda sitting at her desk. A dozen books are scattered about and Zelda is biting on the tip of her pencil. A bunch of empty mugs stand between the books and on the corner of her desk lays an untouched- most certainly served by Hilda- plate with what appears to be roast chicken, salad and toast. 

“Didn’t I make myself clear?”

She tilts her head and makes a thoughtful face, “I don’t think so,” she partly closes the door again, “but I can go back outside so you can try again?”

Zelda rolls her eyes and lets out an annoyed sigh, but the sparkle in her iris and the curve of her lips tell Lilith something entirely different.  
“You didn’t listen the first time, you wouldn’t listen the second time either.”

“You know me so well.” Lilith grins like a fool as she shuts the door behind her.  
She lets her eyes wander over the pages laid out if front of Zelda and frowns, “Binding rituals?”

“It’s for one of my classes at the academy.”

Lilith licks her lips, “Right.” she muses, “Aren’t these for the more advanced students? Like Edward, for example?” She closes one of the books and finds indeed Edward Spellman’s name written in a messy handwriting on the cover. 

“I get bored of my books. They’re too easy. And besides, don’t pretend you never sneaked something out of the library yourself.”

“At least I brought them back!” Lilith pleads. 

Zelda laughs and it sounds like a real one, the sound of it lightens Lilith’s heart, “No you didn’t!”

“Just like you didn’t eat.” Lilith points out as she takes the plate and puts it in front of Zelda, who looks at it with disgust. 

“I’m not hungry.” Zelda pushes it away and leans back in her chair. 

“Zelda...” 

“Really! I’m not hungry at all.”

Lilith glares down at her and shoves the plate back in front of her. 

Zelda remains still, not moving a muscle or making any attempt at eating something. 

Lilith moves to stand next to Zelda and picks up the fork. She pokes a piece of chicken on it and holds it in front of Zelda’s mouth, “Open wide.” 

“Say that again in other circumstances.” Zelda grins wickedly. 

“Maybe, if you’ll be a good girl and finish your veggies.” 

Lilith doesn’t know where all this flirting suddenly came from, but it’s like Zelda feels good. She can only assume Zelda got some things off her chest to Hilda, but Lilith is happy with that. She can tell Zelda feels a bit better. 

Zelda chuckles and gives the chicken filled fork a look, “I’m not gonna let you feed me.”

“Are you gonna eat by yourself?”

“No.” 

“Then I’m gonna feed you.” Lilith states, seating herself on the edge of Zelda’s desk. 

Zelda’s lips form a thin line and she turns her eyes to Lilith who nods at her in encouragement, so finally, she leans forward and takes the bite off the fork. 

“Good girl.” Lilith smiles proudly as Zelda chews slowly. 

Lilith pokes at the food once again and holds it in front of Zelda’s mouth, but Zelda stops her, “Why did you come back?” 

“Food first, questions later.” 

She offers Zelda the fork again and this time she takes it.  
They continue like this until the plate is empty and Lilith enjoys every second of it. It’s something they had never done before, but Lilith would like to repeat it some day. They never did these ‘normal’ things together, but now that Lilith had a taste of it, she craves more. 

“Now answer my question.” 

Lilith exhales through her nose, pouting her lips, “Because I didn’t believe you.”  
She doesn’t need to say what she is talking about, because Zelda knows.  
Zelda always knew what Lilith meant, and they never needed a lot of words to understand each other. They just knew.  
She’s glad that didn’t change. 

Zelda swallows, like she is deciding if she should keep up the lie or just drop it, “Why not?” She asks carefully. 

Lilith shrugs her shoulders and lets out a dry giggle, “Because I know you.”

Apparently Zelda choose to keep lying, “Not so well then.”

Lilith throws her head back and the air fills with her laughter, “You’re lying, Zelda. You were lying this morning and you are lying now.”

“I am not!” Zelda growls in defense as her eyes grow wide. 

Lilith crosses her arms, “Then say it.” 

“Say what?” Zelda frowns as she stands up from her chair. 

“That you don’t love me.” 

“I don’t.” She replies fast as lightning, but still, Lilith isn’t convinced. 

Lilith shakes her head and smiles in disbelief. 

Zelda’s eyes fill with rage in a matter of seconds and her cheeks turn red.  
“I do not love you.” 

“And I do not believe you.” Lilith answers calm. 

Zelda groans and slams her fist on the table in frustration, “Damn it, Lilith! I don’t love you!” She’d always hated it when Lilith didn’t shout back at her. 

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do!” Zelda shouts, flailing her hands in anger. 

Lilith stands up, moving dangerously close to Zelda, “Liar!” She does shout this time. 

“Lilith, for the last time: I am not lying, I don’t love you!”

“Then tell me to walk out of here and never come back! Is that what you want?”

“I...” she bends her head for a moment, before she looks Lilith in the eye and holds her hands up in surrender, “No, that’s not what I want.” 

Lilith blinks a few times, her jaw dropping and closing, “Sorry what?” Her ears must be deceiving her, because she cannot believe she heard that right. 

But, it seems like she did, because Zelda continues, “I don’t want you to walk out of here and never come back.” 

Lilith’s face starts to ache from the grin that spreads across it, her question full of anticipation, almost a little scared, “So you do love me?”

Zelda looks at Lilith with a weird look in her eyes. Something she’s never seen there before. Like Zelda is really giving herself to Lilith. All breaks seem to go loose and she’s letting go. 

With a husky voice, tears clouding in her eyes and a trembling chin, Zelda breathes: “I love you, Lilith.”

Her breath catches and everything about Zelda in this moment tells her that it’s true. She cannot believe this is actually happening, but it is. Zelda loves her. 

A shaking hand reaches out towards Lilith’s face and wipes away multiple tears there that she hadn’t even noticed had fallen. Once she realises that she is in fact crying, more tears rain down from her eyes and Zelda tries her best to get rid of all of them, but naturally, fails. Lilith sniffs and stops Zelda’s hand, taking it in hers. 

Maintaining eyecontact with Zelda’s tearfilled eyes, Lilith turns her head and hesitantly presses her lips against Zelda’s palm. Zelda’s lashes flutter and she breathes out through her mouth, reaching out with her index finger and gently caressing Lilith’s cheek.  
A slow tear makes its way down Zelda’s face and tickles the corner of her mouth. 

“I love you, Zelda. I always have.” she swallows, “And, I always will. No matter what happens.” 

Zelda smiles, and Lilith returns it, noticing the little gap between her teeth and finding it adorable. She’d always thought it was cute, while Zelda herself hated it for some reason.  
Lilith runs her fingers along Zelda’s brow, going down to her cheekbone and along her lower lip. The skin there is so soft it blows Lilith’s mind. 

“Your lips are so soft.” She whispers in pure awe. 

Zelda’s eyes turn a shade darker green as she replies, “Kiss them then.” She sounds a bit like a young girl, asking for her first kiss, and it’s absolutely endearing. 

Maybe Lilith should think this through. Think about all the consequences this could have and all the damage it could cause to not only hers, but also, Zelda’s heart. She should think about what Faustus would do when he finds out or what will happen after this. Lilith knows that once they kiss, things will escalate and what will happen then? They can never go back to how they were. Too much happened. Too much that Lilith doesn’t even know about and Zelda isn’t particulary keen on telling her. 

But, all Lilith can think about is how tempting Zelda looks. The tinglings that used to go up her spine when their lips collided and the butterflies she felt in her tummy. It was the best feeling in the world and in this moment, Lilith misses it more than ever. She doesn’t know what will happen after this, so why bother worrying about it anyway? Lilith does know that she loves Zelda, and that she wants to kiss her so badly. 

So for once, Lilith doesn’t think about the outcome of everything. She just follows her heart and leans in, and for the first time in ages, Zelda’s and her lips are pressed together. They move against each other, slow and gentle. Like they want to erase every bad thing that ever happened between them. She still feels the tingling up her spine and the butterflies in her tummy and it all feels so familiar and good. In this moment, she can’t even remember her own name. It was like her heart was healing. Like she finally found the cure for her sore heart. 

Lilith can feel the way Zelda yearns for more. As if she wants to make up for all the time they weren’t together. The pace of her lips is quickening, but they’re still tender and Zelda falls down in the chair behind her, dragging Lilith along with her.  
Lilith sits on Zelda’s lap, tangling her fingers in her hair and pressing her body as close as possible to Zelda’s. Lilith tugs softly at Zelda’s lip with her teeth before she runs her tongue along it, earning a low moan coming from the depths of Zelda’s throat. 

It’s the most beautiful sound she has ever heard. 

Zelda settles her hands on Lilith’s hips, moving them down slowly until they reach her bottom, and she squeezes it. A little yelp emerges from Lilith’s mouth, making a proud smile appear on Zelda’s face.  
She claims Lilith’s lips again and flicks her tongue inside her mouth - and dear Satan-, it’s a wonderful feeling. They explore each other all over again, learning the buttons that need to be pushed to get the desired effect, and it’s simply wonderful. 

Lilith moves down to Zelda’s jaw, pressing feather light kisses there and moving up to her earlobe and scraping her teeth over it, making Zelda whimper. Lilith grins and turns her attention to Zelda’s throat, sucking and biting the soft flesh there and receiving ungodly noises from Zelda in the process. Zelda sneaks an impatient hand up Lilith’s dress and Lilith’s grin only widens. She can feel the knots of her corset get loosened by a very expierienced hand as she places her lips on Zelda’s again. They’re more rough now. Pulling and biting, their tongues fighting for dominance and feeling high on the touch of Zelda’s skin against hers. Somehow she’s able to get rid of Zelda’s dress and she needs to take a moment to process her beauty, even when she’s still wearing underwear. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Lilith whispers, drinking in the sight of Zelda’s curves and pale skin in front of her.  
Zelda smiles and Lilith captures it with her lips. Zelda removes Lilith’s dress with her eyes closed and lets her hands roam over her body. Zelda’s fingers leave a burning feeling on her skin, an ache that screams for more than just whatever it is they’re doing right now. 

Keeping her lips against Zelda’s, Lilith moves her hands to Zelda’s back and pulls at the strap of her bra when she hears a voice coming from the other side of the room. 

“My, my, you two are putting up quite a show, aren’t you?” 

They jump apart like two thieves caught red handed and Lilith stares at Faustus in horror, feeling a knot in her stomach. Zelda’s breath catches, “Faustus, it’s not what it looks like.”

Faustus stands in the doorway wearing something that must be his best tuxedo, and holding a bouquet of black roses, “Spare me your details, Zelda.” he growls, dropping his flowers and stepping over to the chair they’re still sitting in. “You know what our agreement was. You broke it so I think it’s time we tell poor Lilith the truth, don’t you think? My darling?” he hisses like a snake, the petname sounding more like an insult. 

Somehow Lilith finds her voice again and stutters, “W-what? What truth?” She moves off of Zelda’s lap, not even bothering with putting her dress back on. She lets her gaze go from Zelda to Faustus and back, her lips slightly swollen and her face flustered. 

Zelda averts her eyes, looking down at the ground, her nostrils shaking, “I can’t.”

“If you won’t, I will.” 

She snaps her head up, “No.” she stands up and smooths down her dress that isn’t there, “I’ll do it.”

“Zelds?” Lilith whisper uncertainly. 

“It is your right, Lilith. I’ve kept this from you long enough.” 

Lilith isn’t sure she wants to hear what comes next, afraid of what this so called ‘truth’ might be, “I don’t care, I don’t need to know. I just need you.”

Zelda gives Lilith a grateful smile, clearly feeling uncomfortable, when Faustus clears his throat, “But, Zelda wants to tell you.” he approaches her and stands close to her, making Zelda visibly shiver, “You don’t want to break your promise to me, do you Zelda?”

There is a short silence, before Zelda’s jaw shakes as she gives Faustus a look that Lilith can’t quite place. It’s like anger, despondency and despair before she turns to Lilith, “You might want to sit down for this.” she takes a deep breath, “It isn’t a pleasant story.”

Blackwood chuckles and moves over to Zelda’s bed. He falls down on it, tucking his arms beneath his head and closing his eyes, like someone is about to read him a story to fall asleep. Lilith hesitates for a moment, giving Zelda a fearful glance, before sitting down on a chair. 

Zelda sits down on her desk, fidgeting her fingers and Lilith knows she’s dying for a cigarette. She takes a deep breath and starts, “It happened a few days after my dark baptism...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TUM TUM TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMM!!!! 
> 
> In chapter 7 you will all find out what Zelda did! I’m going to write it in a big flashback if that’s okay for you all. Sorry it took me so long to update, but you did get 6k words in return. 
> 
> What are your thoughts? What do you think Zelda did? Let me know!! 
> 
> You all are the sweetest persons and I love every single one of you so much ❤️ 
> 
> I was very nervous about writing the kissing scene and stuff between Zelda and Lilith so I really hope it didn’t disappoint. Lemme know what you thought of it. 
> 
> It could take me some time to update the next chapter bc it’s such an important one and I want it to be perfect for you guys :) 
> 
> See you in chapter 7 ❤️


	7. For the debt I owe, gotta sell my soul 'cause I can't say no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my little darlings!!!
> 
> Yes, I know it’s been a month and yes, I am in fact still alive. I just tried really hard to get this chapter as good as I could make it :) And I mean, yeah, it took me a while to update, but I did squeeze 7k words out of my brain in return, so....  
The first bit isn’t really important but I somehow wanted to get something about Zelda and the bond she had with her mother into this. 
> 
> Also, I totally ignored canon lmao, but I guess you guys are used to that by now :D 
> 
> Oh and, idk why there is so much space between every pharagraph????? I’m sorry pls forgive me and I’ll try to fix it in a few days. 
> 
> Anyways,  
DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMM!!!!!
> 
> Ladies and gentledudes  
The chapter you have all been waiting for!  
The chapter that finally shows everyone what happened in Zelda’s past!  
Why did Zelda never answer Sabrina when she asked if anyone of the family had ever been visited by the Dark lord?  
Was she hiding something?  
Something... dark?
> 
> YOU WILL FIND OUT NOW! 
> 
> WAIT THO  
before you start I must say: TRIGGER WARNING!
> 
> I don’t wanna spoil the plot so I’ll just say something will happen at the end of the chapter that includes blood and stabbing. It’s not explicit but I just thought I would warn you. I do not want to scare or trigger anyone in any way. 
> 
> Without further talking, please enjoy this new chapter which carries a title that comes from Billie Eilish’ “Bury a Friend”
> 
> Xoxo

It had been a few days since Zelda’s dark baptism. Eleven, to be exact. She didn’t feel different. She didn’t feel any closer to the Dark Lord than she did before, if anything, she felt like she was further away from him than ever. Something bad was going to happen, she could feel it in her bones. Satan had something planned for her, and it certainly wasn’t anything good. 

Her mother had always warned her about what came after ones baptism, “You’ll never be the same witch again, Zee. His claw will be on you for eternity.”

Zelda had never truly understood what that meant until now. Until after her name was signed in blood in His book. The book in which you sell your soul and get what in return? Power? She already had that. 

To uphold the family name? Zelda could not care less about that. To save her soul? You can’t save what’s already lost. For her mother’s sake?

Yes. 

Zelda feared what her father would do to her mother if she refused to sign her name in the Book of the Beast. He always blamed the poor woman for every little bad thing Zelda did. According to him, Zelda acted too much like her. Too careless and too slutty, without respect for her poor father. When Zelda wore too short dresses, it was her mother’s fault. When Zelda protested against her father, it was her mother’s fault. When she came home late or sneaked out of the house, it was her mother’s fault. It was  _always_ , her mother’s fault. 

The man himself had slept with every witch- and probably every warlock too- in the coven, and he was rarely home, but he never talked about that. He was never to blame. After all, he never wanted children. Children made a person lose focus of what ‘really matters’: Serving the Dark Lord. 

Zelda signed her name away for her mother, eventhough she had told her not to do it. Zelda could not risk losing her. Not on her watch, not if she could help it. 

So on the eleventh night after her baptism, Zelda was sitting behind her desk, catching up on her homework. When she had started at the Academy of Unseen Arts, she had expected to be challenged on a daily base, but so far everything she had seen in class, she already knew. Her mother had taught her all of it ages ago, before Hilda was born. That little shrimp had demanded all of their mother’s attention from the moment she got expelled from the womb. It felt like Zelda wasn’t good enough anymore. Not for her mother, and not for her father. Her father always favored Edward, of course. 

_“That boy is going to be High Priest one day!”_ He always said. 

Sure, Edward couldn’t even successfully teleport himself from the kitchen to the living room in one piece, but yeah, he was going to be High Priest one day. She rolled her eyes every time she thought of it. 

And of course Hilda, the youngest out of them, needed every piece of attention from their mother, making Zelda all by herself. She was used to it by now. It made her stronger. She didn’t need anyone else to survive, she was independent, which she approved of very much. 

Zelda held one of her papers up, trying to read what her note by the margin said, when the scent of sulfur entered her nose. 

The smell was strong and it felt like she couldn’t breathe for just a second. 

She sniffed a few times before she looked up and saw the figure of a goat standing in front of her. 

Her jaw dropped and the paper she was holding fell from her hands. She wanted to scream, but over the years she had learned that showing fear is never in your favor. It showed your opponent that they had the upper hand, and Zelda could simply not let that happen. 

“Zelda Phiona Spellman,” the fallen angel snarled, “my child of darkness.”

She got up from her chair and kneeled in front of Him, feeling a bit of her dignity fade away as she did so, “Dark Lord?” 

“Are you ready to do my bidding?” Satan asked, though it wasn’t a question. It was an order, one she could not refuse. 

Zelda swallowed the lump in her throat and asked: “What is it you wish for me to do?”

The Dark Lord inhaled through his nose, eyeing her carefully. His gaze pierced through her, like he was reading her mind. With a wave of his clawed hand, a leather bag appeared in it, “Take this and put it in front of the door of the false god’s house.”

Zelda frowned at that description, “Greendale’s church?” Why would he want her to put a backpack there? What would he gain out of that? 

“Exactly. Is everything clear?” he breathed with a threathening tone. 

“Wait, what’s inside the bag?” She tried to act curious instead of anxious, if He noticed the fear in her eyes, He would definitely use it against her. 

“That is none of your concerns. Will you do it?” His voice was warning, like He could sense that she wanted to back out of this. 

But Zelda wasn’t scared off that easily, “What happens if I don’t do it?” She sounded steady, unlike her heartbeat. She wasn’t His puppet that He could play with whenever it stroke His fancy. 

Steam came from the Devil’s nose and he groaned, “If you don’t, it might all blow up in your face.” With that he disappeared, leaving only the bag and a rotten smell behind. 

Zelda got up from her knees, smoothing her hands down her dress before she licked her dry lips. She took a few deep breaths, trying to process everything that had happened. 

She gave the bag a questioning look, and considered her options. 

She could’ve opened it, see what was inside, but she knew The Dark Lord would not tolerate that. She could’ve done what he told her, place the bag in front of the church without thinking twice, but the last thing He had told her kept her from doing that. 

It could only have one meaning to Zelda: The bag contained explosives. 

So she choose to dare her luck, and take the most risky option. She ignored Satan’s command. 

Blowing up a building full of mortals wasn’t something Zelda wanted to have on her concious. Harrowing her sister and killing her every once in a while was one thing, but brutally murdering a bunch of innocent people was something else entirely. Zelda Spellman was many things, but a murderer wasn’t one of them. Maybe to Hilda she was one, but she always resurrected her. She would never let her sister stay burried in the ground forever. 

So Zelda ignored the bag. She didn’t even touch it. She just left it to rot on the place where the Dark Lord had left it. She went back to the academy, continued her studies and acted like nothing ever happened. Zelda told no one about the bag in her room and hoped that if she kept ignoring it, it would eventually go away. 

A few days later, she found herself pressed against a wall outside the Church of Night. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, breathing heavily and drawing blood on his neck. 

“Easy there, Zelds.” Faustus panted, giving her arse a squeeze. 

“Don’t you like it?” Zelda breathed against his ear, licking the blood off her lips, before raking her teeth over his neck once again. Fucking her brother’s mentor had always been something she wanted to do, and now that she could, it was a great feeling. Especially because Edward knew about it, because he had walked in on them more than once. 

He hated it, naturally. 

He snorted, “Of course I do, but I have classes this afternoon. Proffesor Turner said I may assist him teach the freshmen during conjuring class.”

Zelda frowned at him, “So?”

“You’re making me look like I was attacked by a bear.” 

“Just a bear?” She pouted at him. 

He raised his brows at her, like he was challenging her, “Are you saying you can do better than this?” 

Zelda didn’t answer she just continued to work on his neck while Faustus got rid of her blouse. Once he did she heard him gasp. But, not the good kind of gasp. 

“What is it?” She aksed as she looked up at him. 

He pointed at the back of her shoulder, “Take a look at this.”

Putting her back down on her own two feet, Zelda reached for her purse that was laying on the ground. She got a tiny mirror out of it and held it behind her shoulder. 

She saw big red scratches and she knew immediately what it was and she uttered, “Satan’s claw.”

***

When Zelda returned home that night, The Dark Lord was aready waiting for her in her bedroom, sitting behind her desk. 

As soon as she caught sight of him, her jaw dropped and she felt her heart skip a beat. 

“Spellman,” he growled, “you disobeyed my orders.”

“Yes.” Zelda said firmly, “But, only because I did not want to murder innocent people.” 

Outside, she could hear a thunderclap, followed by the sight of lightning, “Murder? Who was talking about murder?”

Zelda’s brows furrowed, and she felt her eye twitch and her hands tremble, “The bag... What was in it then?”

With a flick of Satan’s wrist, the bag flew into Zelda’s arms, “Look for yourself.”

She was scared. What if inside the bag some kind of punishment was waiting for her? 

Trying to compose herself, and stop her hands from shaking, Zelda unfastenedthe zipper and looked inside. 

With a frown on her face and narrowed eyes, Zelda asked in confusion, “Tampons?” 

The Dark Lord gave her a bag full of, out of all things,  tampons ? 

“Yes. Did you expect something else?” He asked, like a bag full of tampons was something obvious. 

Zelda didn’t reply, knowing damn well that he was playing her. She kept her gaze fixed on Him, never letting her eyes wander. She wouldn’t let Him see her fear. Not ever. 

“What about that claw on my shoulder?” she changed the topic. 

“That will disappear as soon as you obey to me, and do what I ask you to do.”

He didn’t say anything else before he went up in smoke, back to the pits of hell, where he belonged. 

She knew putting the tampon filled bag in front of the church was no longer an option, and she feared that whatever it was she had to do next, wouldn’t be as innocent as some tampons. 

***

As always, Zelda was right. 

The next day Zelda was sitting in the forest that was located around the Academy Of Unseen Arts. She enjoyed eating her lunch there way more than in that smelly canteen back at the academy. 

The forest was calm and quiet, unlike the crowded academy. The only sounds to be heard were those of the wind and singing birds up in the trees. A beam of sunlight shone upon her face, and the smell of moss and leaves entered her nose as she munched happily on her sandwich. For a moment she just laid back and closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth on her skin and all the different flavours on her tongue. She felt perfectly happy with the company of her lunch and herself. 

After a few minutes, she felt the sun disappear within a matter of mere seconds. A shiver rolled up her spine as goosebumps formed on her arms and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She felt the wind turn cold before she opened her eyes and looked around. In front of her was a small see through box, filled with what appeared to be biscuits and suddenly she heard His voice. 

“Give them to the first person you see.” 

She didn’t see Him anywhere, but she didn’t need to. She had expected The Dark Lord to visit her again sooner or later. Zelda had hoped for the latter. A gust of wind hit her face, and the sunlight returned, making her feel warm once again. Though, it didn’t have the same feeling like it did before. She felt cold. Like the warmth of the sun wasn’t able to go through her skin. The only thing she felt was the wrenching pain in her heart when she thought of what dark secrets might lay behind the little box. 

Looking down at the half eaten sandwich in her hand, Zelda sighed. She didn’t know what she had to do. Maybe the cookies in the box were poisoned, but maybe they weren’t. She knew that if she refused to do the Dark Lord’s bidding once again, His next order would be ten times worse than this one. He would never be satisfied, until Zelda did what He asked her to do. 

If the biscuits turned out to be poisonous, she could always try to use the Cain Pit on her victim. But, she doubted it would work. If Satan demanded blood, he would have it, one way or another. A bit of blessed dirt wasn’t going to keep Him from it. 

She tore her sandwich into pieces and scattered them around her for the birds and animals that lived in the forest, and Zelda decided that wheter she’d do it or not, would depend on who the first person was she saw. For some reason, she thought it would turn out to be Faustus. One of the only persons at the academy that came close to the title of ‘friend’. All the witches thought she was a slut or just a mean bitch, and the warlocks only saw her as another hot witch to mindlessly fuck. 

Of course, Faustus and her had sex, but that was not the only thing they did. Sometimes they talked. About classes, about their families, about how Faustus should stop putting an awful lot of gel in his hair, they told each other stupid jokes and somehow, they just understood each other. 

It was almost too good to be true. 

One might think that he was the one to take Zelda’s virginity after her Dark Baptism, but that wasn’t true. She didn’t get his, so he wouldn’t get hers either. Zelda couldn’t even remember the name of the warlock who did, but it certainly wasn’t Faustus Blackwood. 

If he was the first one to cross her path, she would have to ignore Satan once again. She wasn’t going to risk the one good thing she had in this place. 

Zelda got off the ground after taking a few deep breaths. Her next class was in 10 minutes, so she gathered her stuff- including the little box- and went back to the academy. On her way back she never saw anyone, which she was grateful for. 

But, when she finally made it to the main entrance, she saw a witch standing there. At first sight, Zelda didn’t recognize her, but as she got closer, she finally saw who it was. It was a girl she shared many classes with. She was smart to say the least. She always had an outspoken opinion, always challenging other students and herself. She wasn’t afraid to start a discussion about any kind of topic, and Zelda approved of that maybe a little too much for her own liking. 

The witch was sitting on the stairs, holding a book and reading from it outloud. Her voice was quiet, but Zelda recognized the words as formulas for Herbalism class. 

“Lilith, right?” Zelda announced herself. Eventhough they shared a lot of classes, and slept in the same room, they had never actually had a proper conversation. Suddenly, Zelda wondered why that was. 

The witch jumped up, her book falling from her hands, “Unholy fuck, do you always creep up to people like that?” She cursed, as she held a hand to her chest and gave Zelda a dirty look. 

“If I do, no one ever mentions it.” Zelda half laughed. She bend down to grab the book, but so did Lilith and as soon as they realised they had mirrored each others movement, their eyes locked. Zelda felt a chill go up her spine. An unexplainable sensation. Something that simply couldn’t be described, but she could tell Lilith felt it too. She could tell by the way her jaw dropped and how she blinked at her. How stunned she looked, like she too, had never felt anything like that before. 

The moment passed, and Zelda let go of the book, somehow ending up brushing her fingers against Lilith’s. 

“Need any help with that?” Zelda asked, nudging her head towards the book in Lilith’s lap. 

For a moment, she looked surprised, “You’re offering to help me?” she sounded uncertain. 

“Yes. Is that strange?” 

“Only a little.” Lilith stood up and Zelda wondered how she had never noticed what beautiful legs the girl had, “Everyone describes you as a, well, a selfish, slutty, egocentric bitch. Some call you a whore, but I don’t think women of the street look quite as...” Lilith looked her up and down, like she was checking her out, “ dignified as you.”

Zelda’s brow furrowed, “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

Lilith simply shurgged, “Only if you want it to be one.” 

Zelda couldn’t stop a small smile from forming on her lips, though when she noticed it was there, she put on a straight face again. 

“Someone’s got a good appetite.” Lilith stated, nodding at the box of biscuits clenched in Zelda’s hands. There must have been at least 30 cookies in there. 

She looked down at it and laughed, though it wasn’t a real one. It was like she was sudddenly reminded about what she was supposed to do now and she realised that she couldn’t do it. Not to Lilith. Not after everything that witch made her feel in only a matter of seconds. Things she had never felt before, and she doubted she would feel ever again. Not even with Faustus. Definitely not with Faustus. 

“I’d share them with you, but I think my sister used salt in them instead of sugar. They’re really nasty.” Zelda cringed and Lilith gave her a confused look, though she then nodded her head in understanding. “But, maybe we can meet up some time and I’ll help you with your herbalism, and I’ll bring  good cookies. I mean, if you’d like that?” 

Had she just asked Lilith to go on a date with her? Where the hell had that come from?

Zelda saw a wave of what seemed to be excitement flick in Lilith’s eyes, before she smiled and answered, “I’d love that. I’ll bring some milk to dip them in. If you even like milk, you’re not lactose intolerant, right? 

She grinned and shook her head, “No, I’m not.” Lilith bit her lip and gave her a small nod while she nervously tapped her finger on the cover of her book. “Well, I must be off now. I have Ancient Tongues in,” Zelda looked down on her watch, “less than 2 minutes.”

“Oh crap, me too.” Lilith cursed as she and Zelda both went inside the building. 

As they walked to their classroom, Zelda complained about hating the subject and Lilith talked how she loved it. They agreed that when they would meet up, Lilith was going to pass her knowledge of Ancient Tongues down to Zelda, and Zelda hers of Herbalism down to Lilith. And somehow, the thought if spending time with Lilith made Zelda feel extremely hyped up. 

And with that, Zelda had ignored the Dark Lord yet another time. 

***

Of course He didn’t tolerate it. 

Satan came back a few days later. Zelda was at the academy when it happened, sitting in the library and doing an attempt at studying. She was meeting Faustus there to give her his old Necromancy books. As a first year student, Zelda didn’t have that class, but if you deny Zelda Spellman something, it just makes her want to have it even more. Faustus’ price for the pieces of literature were high, but she didn’t mind paying them all that much.

Zelda had spent a lot of time here since her first real encounter with Lilith. A lot of time  with  Lilith. The first time they met up in there, they’d had a lot of fun. Zelda bringing cookies as promised and Lilith milk. They’d planned to study that evening, but instead found themselves chatting all night long about the most random topics. Apparently Lilith was allergic to roses, and if the came in touch with them she had to go to the infernal hospital straight away. She nearly drowned when she was 6 years old when she and her parents went swimming by the kake and she had a terrible fear of water now. Lilith hated colours, because she thought there were too many stereotypes en characteristics attatched to them and she didn’t want people to look at her a certain way because of some favorite colour. When she was 12 years old, she was a massive fan of some Icelandic band and when she was 14, her parents gave her a dog to practice her magic on. She ended up blowing the animal up to pieces and she still felt guilty for it until this very day. 

Zelda had told Lilith a lot of things about herself as well, of course, though she couldn’t clearly remember what she had said exactly. She had been so focused on Lilith and her stories, that she didn’t feel the need to pay attention to anything but her. They ate the cookies and they drank the milk, and for the first time in what seemed to be ages, Zelda felt something that could only be described with one word: Happines. 

And so a first date got replaced by a second one, a second by a third, a third by a fourth, and so on, and so on. Every new one turned out to be even better than the last one. Each and every time Zelda felt this terrible fondness in the pits of her stomach. Every time she saw Lilith she could feel a foolish grin creep on her face without her permission. Not that she minded, though. 

Because, Lilith always told her how much she loved her smile, so Zelda was more than happy to show it. 

Zelda’s heart became more happy with every passing day. 

Until Satan was standing in front of her her again. 

She’d thought she would be used to the Dark Lord’s visits by now, but the fear she could feel in the deep down in her heart told her otherwise. He did not look happy at all. 

“You are pushing your luck, child.” 

She swallowed, putting her pencil down and looking up at Him. She tried to look brave, like she wasn’t scared, but even she herself didn’t buy it. Zelda couldn’t stop her lip from trembling and her hand from clenching. 

“This is your final chance. If you will not obey to me, you are useless, and you know what happens then.”

Of course she knew. People who didn’t do the Dark Lord’s bidding got gotten rid off by Satan Himself, without mercy. 

For a moment her voice seemed to be stuck in her throat, “What is it you wish for me to do, Dark Lord?” 

“Meet me at the witching hour.”

“Where?”

“The place where you signed your soul away to me in blood. Remember what you promised there, Zelda Spellman.” He groaned before he went up in thin air. 

A breath of relief left Zelda’s mouth. She stared down at the table and she felt her heart racing in her chest. She could hear he rown blood pumping through her body and feel sweat starting to form on her face. 

Suddenly a hand touched her shoulder and she jumped up in panick, releasing a high pitched shriek as well. She quickly turned around to see who was behind her, and felt relief course through her when she saw who it was. 

“Faustus...” she managed to choke out. 

He didn’t speak. He just pulled her into his arms and embraced her and somehow she felt the tiniest bit of comfort in his touch. The feeling of his muscles pressed against her made her feel stronger. 

“Why did He come here?” Faustus finally asked when her breathing had returned to normal. 

Zelda pulled away, stroking a hand over her face. “He wants me to do his bidding, but I just can’t do it.”

Faustus furrowed his brows, obviously confused, “Why not? You’re the most devoted? witch I know.”

She wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be a compliment. 

Shrugging her shoulders, she sighed: “I’m just scared he’s going to demand me to murder someone.”

Faustus smiled and chuckled softly, petting her cheek a few times. 

“What’s so funny?” Zelda asked, sounding offended. 

Faustus looked her in the eyes and whispered, “Satan isn’t going to demand you to murder someone.”

Zelda’s lips parted, “How can you be so sure of that?”

“I’ve been at this academy for many years now. Through the years I have learned that this whole thing is just a matter about proving The Dark Lord that you’re dedicated to Him and only Him. That you will do anything He asks you to do.”

“And what does that mean?”

“It means that as long as Satan  thinks you’re obeying to Him, everything is fine.”

“Are you saying I don’t really have to do his bidding, but just act like I am?”

Faustus nodded with a smug smile on his face, “He can’t look inside your head, just act like he really has His grip on you.”

Somehow, Zelda wasn’t entirely convinced yet. Was she really able to just lie her way out of this? To lie to the Father of Lies?

“Will you be there tonight?” She asked, looking at him like he was the last piece of hope she had left. She just didn’t want to face the Dark Lord alone. She wouldn’t admit it, but Zelda was afraid. 

He looked at her intently, seriously considering her request, before he replied: “Yes. I’ll follow you from a distance, and if I see you need any help with whatever it is He will tell you to do, I’ll try to do something.”

Zelda swallowed, “Do you promise?”

Faustus looked at her for a moment, before he took her face in his hands and whispered, “I promise.”

Zelda sighed, a small and hesitant smile appearing on her lips. She batted her eyelashes and reached up to give him a featherlight kiss, a silent thank you. After that, he held her once again and she heard him utter a spell into her hair. She didn’t know what it meant, but for some reason, she trusted him and didn’t think any further about it. 

She just needed some support. She needed to know that she wasn’t going through this alone, eventhough she really was. For once, Zelda wanted to have someone have her back. Because, she was really, really scared. 

***

When Zelda entered the woods that night, she felt adrenaline course through her veins. She felt ready. Ready to face Satan and ready to do whatever it was He had in mind for her. But, she was still scared, because she knew that what she had to do now, wasn’t going to be innocent. Something inside of her knew that he would demand blood. So she remembered Faustus’ words. She just needed to deceive the Great Deceiver. That shouldn’t be too hard, should it? 

It was a few minutes before the witching hour. Zelda could sense it in the air. She could feel it in the way her magic was bubbling inside of her, and how she was aching to use it. The wind was chilly, and though she could barely see them, Zelda knew the clouds were dark and ready to pour rain over the surface of the earth. The forest was quiet, as if even the animals that lived there knew something bad was about to happen. The only sound to be heard was that of Zelda’s footsteps against the muddy ground, trampling leaves and branches from the trees. She tried to listen as carefully as she could, hoping to hear a second pair of footsteps somewhere, but hearing none. 

A part of her didn’t expect Faustus to come. After all, he too was just a warlock and what was a warlock going to do against Satan himself? Nothing, of course. 

But, he did promise. And, a promise meant everything to Zelda. 

Before Zelda had the chance to overthink it too much, she reached the spot where her dark baptism had taken place. She looked at the stone table where the Book Of The Beast had been laying. The book she signed her name in and so signed away her very own soul. She mentally slapped herself for agreeing to participate in all of this. Why had she been so stupid? 

The moon started to shine a little brighter and she knew it was time. The time to do His bidding had come. 

Zelda felt her pulse go up and even the stars in the sky seemed to hold their breath for a few seconds. She blinked and suddenly, there was the drawing of an arrow on the stone table. It was made in blood, of course, and it was pointing to the right. So, that’s where Zelda went. After walking for some time, she came across another arrow, also written in blood but this time on an enormous tree. 

She followed it and went to the left. She found seven more arrows on her path and followed each and every single one of them, before she came across a cottage between the trees. 

There she found Him waiting for her. 

“Remember: this is your last chance.” The Devil hissed at her and Zelda bend her head. Still, there was no sign of Faustus. 

“Come, child.” He went inside the cottage and motioned Hiss clawed hand for her to follow Him. So she did. 

She had no idea what she was supposed to do here, but she guessed there weren’t any good reasons. Fear was about to overtake her when He led her in. Zelda could tell a family lived there. A man and a woman, most certainly. Two long raincoats hang by the door and eventhough the living room was only a small space, it was filled to the brim with photoframes. A sweet smell of entered her nose, and it made her feel at home in just a second. She could feel happines lingering in the air, something that was rarely present at the Spellman’s house these days. Zelda almost felt jealous of it. She knew she was here to break the joy that was bound to this place, and it made her feel sick. Sick of herself. 

The Dark Lord went through a door and Zelda followed with watchfull steps, always keeping her gaze fixed on Him. Never in her life, had she been this scared. She wasn’t afraid that something might happen to her, but she feared what Satan’s order for her would be. 

The room they entered turned out to be a bedroom. A middle aged man and woman were sleeping blissfully in the bed, spooned up against each other. They looked like they had been sleeping like this for centuries. As if it had become a habit, and one they both still enjoyed. 

Satan then turned to face her and offered her a large dagger. 

Zelda instantly knew what she was supposed to do, but she also knew that she couldn’t do it. She wasn’t a murderer and would never be one. 

Satan whispered, scraping his claws over the blade: “Take it, and push it through their hearts.”

Zelda wanted to cry. To scream her soul out of her body and just wake up from this nightmare. In that moment, her own death sounded more tempting than killing those innocent people. Why would He expect her to do such a horrible thing?

When she didn’t accept the knife, The Dark Lord pushed it in her hands, “You swore to do what I asked.” He groaned, smoke emerging out of his nostrils as the rotten smell of his breath tickled Zelda’s nose. Of course Zelda knew she made a promise. It’s one that she greatly regretted. 

Through the window, Zelda saw a flash of lightning and she heard a thunderclap above her head. She had no choice. 

She _had_ to do it. 

Zelda clenched her fist around the dagger and slowly approached the bed. Her breathing was unsteady and her heart was threatening to explode. Zelda couldn’t believe that all of this was really happening. She was going to murder two people. 

But then, she remembered something. As long as the Dark Lord thought she was obeying to him, everything would be fine. At least, that’s what she hoped. 

As she stood besides the bed, Zelda looked down at the woman for just a moment. She seemed so peaceful, so content to be safely in her husband’s arms. Her chest rose slowly as Zelda studied her face. She had outstanding bone structures, and even when they were closed, Zelda could see she had big eyes too. 

Spooned up behind her, the man was sleeping silently with his face burried in the woman’s dark brown curls. The woman truly had extraordinary hair. The man on the other hand had short, grey hair and even though his face was mostly covered under thick layers of curls, she noticed he had somewhat a bigger nose, but it seemed to suit him well. 

The pair looked so happy together with just having the simplicity of being able to hold each other, and it made Zelda’s heart ache even more. 

They both reminded Zelda of someone, but she couldn’t quite place her finger on top of it. 

Suddenly, she felt a warm breath against the back of her neck, and a watchfull gaze hovering over her. 

“Do it, my child of darkness. Show your faith to me.” 

Zelda inhaled deeply, and raised her hand that was holding the dagger. Throwing a final glance at the scene laid out in front of her she moved her hand down in a stabbing motion and with an incredible force. But, right before the tip of the blade touched the other woman, she stopped. She hadn’t expected the Dark Lord to really let her go through with this. Apparently He did. 

Satan roared loudly and Zelda didn’t even dare to look up at Him. He was furious, she knew. 

“Spellman... You hesitated!” lightning struck once more, “Now you must d-“

He did not get to finish his sentence. Before Zelda had time to blink, something seemed to take controle over her body. 

She felt her hand tighten around the dagger and in a mere second, she pierced the blade through the woman’s heart with an incredible strenght. The woman’s eyes popped open and for some reason they seemed so familiar. Like Zelda had spent hours staring in them. She didn’t know why, but Zelda only pushed the knife deeper, and she felt warm blood cover her hand. She couldn’t help it. With a final twist of the blade, the light in the woman’s eyes seemed to go out and a last breath escaped from her lips with a loud sigh. 

Behind her, the man started to stir, lifting his head a few inches with his eyes still closed, “Maggy? Are you awake?” He asked, still sounding a bit dazed and sleepy. 

When no answer came, his eyes opened and he immediately caught sight of the blood seeping out of his wife’s chest. 

“Mags?” He cried loudly and in terror. The sound of it broke Zelda’s heart to pieces, because it only then seemed to truly seep in to her that she had really commited a murder. 

When her hand clenched around the dagger another time, it wasn’t because some force had taken over. It was her own doing. Zelda didn’t know why, but she just did it. 

Finally, when the man looked up with tearfilled eyes and for the first time noticed her and The Dark Lord, Zelda quickly pressed her free hand against the man’s shoulder, and with the other she shoved the knife right through his heart. 

She pushed him into the matress and twisted the blade, feeling him twitch beneath her as she did. He cried out in pain and she turned again. His cries only grew louder and she pulled the knife out of him, just to stab him again, and again, and again, until no sounds came from him anymore. And, the only sound in the room became that of Zelda’s ragged breathing. 

“You’re done, for now.” Satan whispered into her ear. And with that, he vanished, as though He had never been there. 

She had done it. She had killed them. 

In a matter of minutes, Zelda had become the one thing she had promised herself never to become: a murderer. 

Slowly, a tear fell from the corner of her eye, but Zelda did not notice. Not even when a second, and a third, and a fourth one made their way down her cheek, too caught up in the horror of the things she just did. She looked down at the body pinned beneath her and quickly jumped up. Blood covered the entire bed and her hands and arms, along with two motionless bodies. 

She kept on staring at them, not able to move her eyes away from the scene. And, the realization really hit her: She had killed them. 

Suddenly she heard someone call her name from outside and it was only then that she noticed the sound of footsteps approaching. 

Zelda lifted her head, eyes puffy and her limbs shaking heavily. She looked around the room, looking for an exit. The window was open on a crack and she made her way over to it as fast as she could in her current state. She tried to fully lift it, but her arms seemed too weak and she failed. The sound of footsteps grew louder with every passing second when out of nowhere, the window lifted. Someone grabbed Zelda by the waist and pulled her through, before her feet hit the ground. 

It was Faustus. She felt more tears fall down out of relief when she finally saw a familiar face. She happily fell into his arms and started sobbing violently on his shoulder, like every bit of fear she had felt that night, was finally able to escape from her body. But, a question did pop up in her mind: Had he been the one who took control over her hands? And if so, why would he do that? Why would he make her commit a murder? 

A loud cry broke Zelda’s thoughts. A shiver rolled up her spine. It was the most horrifying sound Zelda had ever heard. 

She looked up at the window through glassy eyes and it only took her a mere second to know who the man and woman had reminded her of. 

Lilith. 

It couldn’t be her. It shouldn’t be her. But it really was. Zelda saw her move to the bed and collapse on top of it. Her screams filled the air and Zelda felt her heart break into a million pieces. It felt like she was the one being stabbed now. 

She tried to break free from Faustus’ arms, but he held her back. Probably for the best. She wanted to go inside and hold Lilith close to her chest. To tell her how sorry she was and that she wished it would’ve been her who had died instead of them. But, what difference would it make? They were gone, and they weren’t going to come back. No matter how many times Zelda apologized. 

Lilith was shaking aggressively and sobbing loudly, “Dad? Mom? Come on, you have to wake up! Wake up!” 

Zelda tried to get loose once again, but failed miserably and Faustus teleported her away from the place in the blink of an eye. 

Everything that happened once they were at his house was a blur. She only remembered him washing away the blood off of her body, but it felt like it was still there, like it would never truly go away. The claw on her shoulder had vanished without leaving a trace, but she could feel it was still there. At least, not on her flesh, but on her soul. 

She had murdered Lilith’s parents. How was Lilith ever going to forgive her? Zelda didn’t want to lose her. She really, really liked her. Like,  really  liked her. And now, she was going to lose her. Zelda had just ruined the life of the only person she ever truly cared about. How was she ever going to tell Lilith about all of this? How would she explain it to her? Would she ever understand? Would Lilith hate her? Leave her? 

Zelda didn’t dare to think about the possible scenario’s of what could happen if Lilith found out, so she did what seemed the best thing to do: 

She did not tell her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD GUYSSSSSSSSS!!!!  
What did you all think??????????? PLEASEEEEEEE let me know!!! I NEED to know! I’m do desperate for comments! I am craving for them!! Or come hang out with me on Tumblr!!! @immacryyowzah
> 
> I’m always in for a chat ;D 
> 
> I hope you guys liked this and I’m just so curious if you guys expected it to turn out like this??? Please please PLEASE let me know 😭 
> 
> Atwhjdkwbzikskwjskdnxjdbd
> 
> I think it could be a while again until I post the next chapter bc next week I have exams for 2 weeks at school so idk if I’ll have time to write. After that I have a lot of free time tho so don’t worry. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking around, and I’ll see you in the next chapter my lovies ❤️❤️❤️❤️


	8. It’s a storm in my iris 'cause you lied

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Wow seems like it’s been ages since I updated this thing! If you’re still with me, thanks! I really apprechiate it <3
> 
> I meant to post this on Christmas but I didn’t feel too well and I just couldn’t bring myself to edit this thing. I still haven’t really edited it, but I thought it would be nice to update on the last day of this year and decade ;D 
> 
> I hope everyone is feeling good, if you aren’t, I hope you will soon and I wish you all a (very late) merry Christmas and a happy new year!!! I’m sure you guys are gonna have a great 2020! 
> 
> Also: if anyone notices any errors or something in this chapter, pls let me know because it was a real s t r u g g l e to post this chapter for some reason. 
> 
> Chapter title is from “I wish” by our lesbian godess Hayley Kiyoko, and without further talking, enjoy this new chapter ;)

Lilith can hear what Zelda is saying, but it’s like she is in another world. She is reliving her parents’ death once again, something that hadn’t happened to her in quite some time. But now, every time she thinks about the moment she found her mother and father’s dead bodies, she sees Zelda standing outside. Standing outside in Faustus’ arms, with blood on her hands. Everything about her memory of that night changes. Every memory of after that night changes. Every memory of Zelda and her changes.  
Because, Lilith has apparently never known who Zelda really is. It all makes sense now. Every question, every doubt she ever had, all make sense.

It had been Zelda this entire time...

***

_A week after she found her parents’ dead bodies, Lilith went back to the Academy of Unseen Arts._  
In that week she had tried to find her parents’ killer, but without succes. She had tried everything. She had tried to look for witnesses, but as it turned out there simply weren’t any. What had she even expected? They lived in the middle of the woods with not a single soul around. Lilith had even tried to gather traces of DNA from the crimescene, but there just weren’t any. It was like someone had put a spell on the place right after the murder to cover any tracks that had been left behind. She had tried trackingspells to locate the killer, but again without any luck. Somehow she knew thay trying to find the murderer was a way for her to cope with all of this. The High Priest probably could’ve started an investigation if she asked him to, but in that moment Lilith didn’t trust a single person, but herself. This assassination was clearly the work of a witch or warlock, so she wasn’t about to trust one with the case.

Lilith lumbered around the academy, looking for Zelda. She hadn’t told anybody about what happened, but Lilith felt like she could trust her with it. She wanted to get everything off of her chest, and Zelda was probably the only person who would even pretend to care about any of it.  
She hadn’t properly slept since their deaths, and she hadn’t really eaten anything other than sugary snacks either.  
It was hard to make her life work without her father and mother. She had to do everything by herself now, and on top of that, she needed to find herself a job to be able to buy food and clothes.

She could really use some support.

After walking around the building for several minutes without finding a trace of Zelda, Lilith decided to go looking for Zelda’s nosy little sister instead. It was lunchtime, which meant that Hilda must have been hiding somewhere. When Hilda was alone, she was an easy prey for Zelda and her so called “friends”, who all loved to harrow the poor girl every chance they got. Hilda had been at the academy for as long as Zelda had, but still everyone was picking on her and not on her older sister. Maybe it was because she studied in the part for less advanced students. For the younger ones who hadn’t even done their Dark Baptism yet, but the High Priest thought wouldn’t be able to catch up with the other students once they did. The “dumb” ones, as they were called amongst the other witches.

Lilith strolled to the witches bathroom on the second floor, where she knew all the nerds liked to gather during breaks. If Hilda was hiding somewhere, it would be there.

As soon as she opened the door, she could hear soft whispering, but only a mere second later, everything went quiet.  
She looked around the room and saw no one there, but she knew better than that.

She made her way over to the sinks by the wall and propped herself on top of one.  
“Hilda?” Lilith called towards the toilet cubicles. When no response came, she tried again, “Hilda Spellman? I know you’re in here, darling, and if you just come out like a good girl and answer my questions, I won’t hurt you.”

A loud snort came from the closest toilet followed by a hushed: “Oh bloody hell!”

And from another one came a quiet, but angry whisper, “Hilda, shut up you moron!”

“Sorry...” Lilith heard Hilda apologize in a high pitched voice.

“Hilda just come out of there. It’s me Lilith, Zelda’s friend, remember?”

Hilda huffed, “Yes, I remember who you are, and I also remember how you helped my sister and her friends to hang me up a tree upside down when I first got here. And I recall how you tied my hands together and pinned me down into the ground so those other bitches could put a towel over my face and throw a bucket of water on me.” Hilda sounded hurt and mad, and she had all reason to. What had been done to her was terrible and Lilith had participated in all of it.

A wave of guilt hit Lilith. She had never meant to hurt Hilda, she had just wanted to spend time with Zelda and to impress her, to show her that she was willing to do whatever it took to get her attention. Alas, Hilda had been the one to pay the price for that.

She stroke her fingers through her hair, nodding her head slowly and letting out a deep sigh, “You’re right, I did all of those horrible things to you.” she swallowed and said something she almost never said: “And I am... sorry for that.”

For a moment there was nothing to be heard in the room, before Hilda cleared her throat and asked: “Really?”

“Yes, really.” Lilith answered sincerely.

“So you’re not going to help my sister and her henchmen to harrow me again?”

That was a lot to ask. Zelda would probably be disappointed if she stopped helping her.

“I’ll try not to, if you tell me where your sister is right now.”

A loud sigh filled the air, “Well I suppose that’s better than nothing, and Zelda? I don’t know where she is hanging about. Last time I heard from her was a week ago when she sneaked out of the house around the witching hour. According to Edward though, she is with one of her flirts, Faustus Blackwood.”

What the hell? Why would she be with him? What did he have to offer her that Lilith didn’t?

“Isn’t he Edward’s mentor?” Lilith asked confused and almost annoyed.

Hilda chuckled, “Oh he most certainly is, but I’d say that makes Zelda like him even more.”

Lilith shook her head and groaned before she got off the sink. Releasing a loud scream, she punched the nearest wall with her fist, making her knuckles turn red and sore. But, she didn’t feel the pain. Not the physical pain in her hand, at least. She only felt the stinging ache in her chest and a feeling like her world was exploding.  
Why did she feel like this? Why did this hurt? After all, Zelda and her were just friends...

But, Lilith wanted more than that. She wanted her. She had never felt this way for anyone else before and somehow, the thought of losing Zelda hurt more than losing her parents. The pain of their deaths was still fresh, but the way her heart seemed to be breaking into a million pieces felt worse. She loved her parents, of course, but they were so caught up in serving the Dark Lord... Lilith always felt like they could have easily lived without her. As if they never cared as much about her as they did about Satan.

With Zelda, she felt like she truly mattered to someone. Like she wasn’t just another person in the room, and like she would be missed if she wasn’t around anymore.  
But now, when Lilith needed her the most, Zelda wasn’t around. She didn’t want to think about the things that her and Blackwood were doing in that moment, but for some reason she still did. Lilith wondered if he was treating her right, touching her in the same gentle and loving way that she would- if she had the chance. She wanted to know how Zelda felt about him. If all these signals she had given Lilith were just made up by her imagination. If the tender smiles and warm looks Zelda had sent her were pure friendship or something else. Or the times that Lilith had touched Zelda’s thigh or pressed her lips against her cheek and Zelda had let her, it had all just been friendship to her?

Had nothing of it been true?

Lilith kicked the wall and made her way over to the door, not even noticing how the group of geeks had come out of the cubicles to see what was going on with her. She exited the bathroom and went to the dormitory, wanting to crawl into bed and cry herself to sleep, because there was just one reasonable explanation for all her emotions.

_Maybe she was in love with Zelda Spellman..._

***

_A few days later Lilith found herself entering her favorite bar._  
It was the bar where Zelda and her had spend a rather lot of time, at least before her parents died. Somehow Lilith never asked herself why Zelda had seemed to have disappeared after their deaths, and she never really thought about it. She was just worried about her. It was very unlike her to not come to the academy for such a long time, but the fact that she hadn’t even let Lilith know where she was or what was wrong with her, worried her the most.

Lilith still felt heartbroken. It was like she was going through a breakup, eventhough Zelda and her were never together in the first place. For some reason that made it all hurt even more. She lost something that was never hers.

When she entered the room, the smell of alcohol, cigarettes and sweat tickled her nostrils as the sound of laughing drunk warlocks echoed through her ears. In the background, she heard soft music playing, but due to the loud voices around her, she couldn’t make out the song.  
With great difficulty, Lilith made her way through the crowd and to the bar.

“Lilith? Long time no see.” The bartender greeted her.

Lilith offered him a kind smile, “Hello Oliver. You look dashing tonight, as you do every night.”

The warlock fluttered his lashes at her and giggled, “Why, thank you.” He looked her up and down and raised an eyebrow at her, “You don’t look your best.”

She shrugged, this man had truly seen her at her worst, “It’s been a rough week.”

Oliver nodded his head in understanding, before he gave her a knowing smile, “Will a shot of Wodka help?”

“Make it three shots, and then, maybe it will.”

Oliver’s eyes narrowed, a somewhat concerned look on his face, but he didn’t say anything. By now he knew Lilith wasn’t the kind of person who talked all her worries away to her bartender, and he respected that.

When he placed the three small glasses in front of her, he leaned in to her and said: “Your friend, what’s her name again? Zelda Spellman. She’s sitting right over there.” He nodded his head towards the other side of the room, and indeed, by a small table in a dark corner, Zelda was sipping a glass of whisky.

She was crying.

Without touching her own drinks, Lilith made her way over to the corner. Zelda didn’t even notice Lilith standing in front of her, so Lilith chose to just watch her for a moment.

Her skin was pale, even more pale than usual. She had dark circles under her eyes, and eventhough she was wearing a baggy sweather, Lilith could tell she was thin. Too thin. Even her face, that usually looked full and vivid, now seemed cold and lifeless. Slow tears were rolling down her cheeks, and Lilith could hear her heavy breathing. The hand that was clenched around her glass, was trembling and so was her lower lip. She wasn’t wearing any makeup at all, which was very unusual, because Lilith knew that Zelda simply didn’t dare to go out in public with a bare face. Her strawberry blond hair was put up into a messy bun, a few loose locks of it framing her face.

Was this what being around Faustus Blackwood did to her?

“Zelda?” Lilith whispered, like she was scared to even say her name.

Zelda visibly flinched, jumping up, and spilling a bit of her drink over her hand. She looked up, and it was like the sparkle that had always been there, had left her eyes. They looked numb. As if they had shed so many tears, that there wasn’t any life left in them. Even the usual pink blush she had on her cheeks, was no longer there.

She looked like a total mess, and still, she was the most beautiful person Lilith had ever laid eyes on.

“Lilith...” Zelda noted with a hoarse voice, as the tiniest smile appeared on her lips, though the sadness never left her eyes.

“May I sit with you?” Lilith asked carefully, not wanting to cause her any more discomfort.

Zelda gave her a soft nod, before she wiped her whisky covered hand on her pants. Lilith pulled out the chair that was closest to her and sat down, always eyeing Zelda carefully.

Lilith didn’t say anything. Of course, she wanted to know what was wrong with her and why she looked the way she did, but she didn’t want to pressure her.

And she didn’t need to ask, because Zelda started: “I’m sorry I haven’t been around lately.” Her voice seemed on the edge of breaking and she didn’t dare to meet Lilith’s gaze, she kept staring down at the table in front of her.

When Lilith didn’t respond, she continued, “It’s just... A lot happened, and I didn’t want to bother you with it.”

“You’d never bother me, darling.” She reassured her.  
Somehow, the petname felt wrong. Lilith had used it so many times before and it always felt right, but it was like something had changed. Like Zelda had changed in the time they had both been gone.

“Lilith, you don’t need to pretend you’re fine. I know what happened with your parents.”

When Lilith gave her questioning eyes, she added: “Faustus told me about it.”

For some reason, Lilith didn’t quite believe her. She hadn’t told anybody about what happened, and even if she had, it wouldn’t have been to that piece of shit.

But, there was a far more important question that kept going around in Lilith’s head.

After a few akward moments of silence, Lilith dared to push her luck and asked: “Are you two... Are you... You know? Dating?”

Zelda’s eyes went wide, like she couldn’t believe she heard that right.

“What? No, no, we aren’t. I don’t want him.”

“Really?” Lilith scoffed, like she had every damn right to be jealous and mad, “Hilda told me you were with him this entire time.”

“That’s because I had nowhere else to go. I couldn’t go home, it would have been too much...”

“Zelda, if you’re in love with him, just be honest about it. You don’t have to lie to me.”

Both of their voices were growing louder and louder, and they didn’t even notice how everyone around them stopped their conversations to see what was going on.

Zelda tried to defend herself, “I am not lying, Lilith. Faustus is not the one I want, I’m not in love with him!”

“Really? It bloody well looks like it!” Lilith now fully shouted in frustration.

“Damnit, Lilith!” Zelda cried even louder, standing up from her chair, “Can’t you see that the only person I want is you?” She looked down at her, agrily wiping her cheeks.

Lilith could feel herself start to cry when she stared up at Zelda and saw her face still covered in tears, “Then why? Why didn’t you talk to me for nearly two weeks?”

Zelda slumped down into her chair again, starting to sob.

“Because,” she took a shaky breath and answered, “I am a terrible person. I have done horrible things and you deserve so much better than me.”

She looked so broken. So mad. Mad at herself and Lilith wanted nothing more than to hug her and kiss her and tell her that she was all Lilith had ever wanted.

Lilith tried to wrap her arms around her, but Zelda pushed her away and got up from her chair once more, looking like she wasn’t going to be sitting down again. She only then noticed everyone looking at them, and as soon as she did, she ran out of the bar. Lilith called out her name, but of course, she didn’t respond.

So Lilith ran after her, not paying the confused and judging looks everyone was giving them any attention. When she came on the street she looked around her, and a bit further away from the door, she saw Zelda laying on the ground. Lilith made her way over to her as quickly as possible.

“Oh lord, Zelda!” she cried, trying to get her to sit up straight against the wall behind them. “Are you hurt?” She asked, looking for any injuries but seeing none.

Zelda coughed and a few more tears rolled down her face, “I’m okay, I just took a little tumble.” she tried to laugh, but it didn’t sound real at all.

Lilith took Zelda into her arms, caressing her back and muttering a soft “Praise Satan” into her hair.

She still felt a little tense, but slowly, Lilith felt Zelda’s body relax against hers. Lilith gathered all her courage and whispered, “You are the only person I want, Zelda.”

Lilith pulled back a little, only to be met by two green eyes looking up at her.

“Darling, I have done so many bad things. Things you could never forgive me!” Zelda pleaded, shaking her head.

Lilith placed a hand on her cheek and looked into her eyes, “No one can change their past, but we can change our future. I don’t know about which awful things you are talking about, but as long as history won’t repeat itself, it’s okay. Right?”

Zelda shook her head once again, more tears forming in the corners of her eyes, “No, Lilith, you don’t understand. If you’d know about the things I did... You would hate me.”

Then, Lilith was the one shaking her head, “You’re wrong.”

A confused gaze met Lilith’s eyes, before she continued, “I could never hate you, Zelda. Not ever. No matter what you do, no matter what you say or what you believe... I care about you too much to ever hate you.” she bit her lip softly, if only to stop the tears that were clouding her gaze from falling down, “I can’t lose you too.” Zelda was the only person she had left. Her parents were gone and she couldn’t stand to be around the rest of her family.

Zelda gave her a weak smile, but an honest one, “You’re not going to lose me, Lilith.” Somehow, it sounded like a promise, and Lilith believed her.

With a scared heart, Lilith leaned in and quickly pressed her lips against Zelda’s, just for a second or two.

She pulled back and saw a look of pure shock written across Zelda’s face, so she quickly uttered, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“

But, Zelda cut her off by pulling her in and kissing her fiercely. She tangled a hand in Lilith’s dark curls and wrapped the other around her neck. Lilith settled her hands on Zelda’s hip and slowly pulled her even more towards her, closing any space that was left between them. Gently, Zelda slipped her tongue into Lilith’s mouth and Lilith couldn’t help but let out a little moan.

Lilith couldn’t believe that it was actually happening. She was kissing Zelda, and Zelda was kissing her back. She could feel butterflies flying around in her tummy, and her heart was racing in her chest. It was the best feeling ever.

They only parted when they had both ran out of breath, but they kept on pressing feather light kisses to each others lips.  
The two witches looked into each others eyes, as if for the first time and Lilith now knew for sure:

_She was in love with Zelda Spellman._

***

All those memories tasted sour now. It was like eating a biscuit that had freaking salt in it instead of sugar.

Lilith had been so happy, so in love, but now, as she looks at Zelda, she wonders why she’d felt that way. Why did she love her so much? What was so special about her?

All this time she had been looking for the person who took her parents’ life, and that person had been sitting right in front of her, under her very own nose. The murderer had been laying in her bed, Lilith had kissed her, cried for her, trusted her, loved her,...  
And it had all been a lie.  
Every single second of it.

Zelda had touched Lilith so tenderly with the same hands that had brutally assassinated her parents.  
Their breakup had never been about when she cheated on her. It had just been the perfect excuse for her to finally get away. To get away from the last thing that always reminded her about the blood on her hands. Away from Lilith.  
All this time, Lilith had felt so incredibly guilty for messing their relationship up, but it had never truly been her fault.

She looks around the room, Faustus is still laying on the bed and eyeing her carefully, a content smile on his face. Zelda, on the other hand, has tears in her eyes. Her chin is trembling and she looks at Lilith like she’s memorizing every little feature of her face. Like she is expecting this to be the last time she ever sees her. Lilith fears that she might be right about that.

“Say something, please.” Zelda whispers. Her voice is husky and she sounds so... scared. If Lilith wasn’t so mad at her she would feel sorry for her.

Lilith doesn’t know what she is supposed to say. To forgive and forget like nothing happened? She can’t do that.  
To shout at Zelda and tell her how much she hates her? She can’t do that either, because it simply wouldn’t be true.  
So she goes for asking a simple question instead.

It takes her a moment to get the words out of her mouth, and when she does, they sound a lot more harsh than she had intented to.  
“Why didn’t you say all of this sooner?”

Zelda swallows, blinking a few times and seeming to really think her answer through, before she says: “I thought I’d lose you if you knew what I had done.”

Lilith shook her head angrily as a bitter laugh escaped from her throat, “If you think I would leave you for being honest about what you did, about _what you had to do_,” in a mere second her voice goes from angry to heartbroken, “then you never really knew me.”

Zelda looks at Lilith like she is the one who has been stabbed, “But, how could you possibly understand?  
I killed your parents to save myself! I was so selfish, I was only thinking about me! About what would happen to me and my own family if I didn’t do it. I sacrificed your family’s life for my own.”

“Zelda, I would never have expected you to sacrifice yourself for two total strangers. You didn’t know they were my parents and you just did what you had to do to save those you love.” Lilith said calmly.

Zelda watches slilith carefully, as if she is trying to read her mind because she simply can’t wrap her head around how understanding Lilith is.

“But, I just wish you would’ve told me sooner. Before we started dating, because right now, everything that happened between us after my parents died seems like a lie to me.”

“Lilith, I swear nothing of it was a lie!” She defends, “I love you and I have from the moment we first talked. I know I haven’t been honest with you, but all my feelings were, and still are, true. I love you and I am so, so sorry for everything that I have ever done to you.”

“Yes but, no matter how many times you’re going to apologize doesn’t change the fact that you killed them and that you never even had the guts to come clean to me about it.” Lilith shakes her head, and snorts, “You’re not selfish, you know. You’re just a coward.”

Zelda lowers her head, knowing that what Lilith is saying is right. She looks like she wants the ground to swallow her whole and just disappear.

So Lilith decides to change the topic to the smirking asshole that’s still silently observing them from a small distance.  
“And you know, what I’m failing to see is why the hell you can’t leave- forgive me my language- that bastard over there.”

With a trembling chin, Zelda looks over to where Faustus is laying on the bed. Looking like he is rather enjoying himself, Faustus nods his head at her and waves his hand for her to continue.

“If I’d leave him, he would tell you what I did to your parents.” She sounds hesitant, like she is afraid to even say the words out loud.

“Now that, my sweet Zelda, is utter bullshit.” Lilith stands up slowly, switching her gaze from Zelda to Faustus and back, “It’s too obvious. There must be something else.”

Faustus glances in her direction, and she knows that she is right. She meets his eyes for just a fraction of a second, but she sees right through him. Maybe Zelda bought all his lies easily, but not Lilith.

“Do I hear something crack? Oh, it’s the thin ice beneath your feet, Faustus Blackwood.”

Faustus throws his head back and the sound of his filthy laughter fills the room. It takes every bit of Lilith’s selfcontrole to not just strangle him in this very moment.  
“Lilith...” he chuckles one last time, “I must say, you have a remarkable sense of humour and imagination, but I haven’t the faintest idea of what you’re talking about.”

Lilith tilts her head and raises her brows at him, “Really?”

Faustus shrugs at her, shaking his head.

“Zelda, darling?” Lilith calls.

“Yes?”

“The power you mentioned. The one that took controle over your hands while stabbing my father.” she turns around to fully face Zelda, “What was it?”

Zelda’s eyes grow a bit wider and she looks totally stunned by the question, like she doesn’t know the answer to that question either.  
“I- I don’t know, I never really thought of it.”

“There are only two logical explanations for it, aren’t there?” Lilith asks, looking between the other witch and warlock in the room, “The first one is that Satan decided to give you a little hand with starting what you, Zelda, were supposed to do on your own free will. Or the other one, is that Faustus, who had promised to help you with whatever it was The Dark Lord would ask you to do, and who blackmailed you afterwards.”

“Excuse me, ‘Your Dishonor’,” Faustus mocks her, “I didn’t blackmail her.”

“Threathening to spill the dirt you had on Zelda if she didn’t do what you said sort of sounds like blackmailing to me.”

“I was simply protecting her. Just like I protected her by, indeed, taking control over her hands to make her commit the first murder. Only Satan knows what would have happened to her and the rest of the Spellman family if I hadn’t done it.”

Lilith simply laughs, “And why would you want to protect her? You don’t love her. You just want to possess her.”

Faustus gives her a wicked smile, and holds up his hands in surrender, “If you say so.” He stands up from the bed and walks over to Zelda, who is looking at him in pure horror and disgust. He stops in front of her and presses a light kiss to her cheek, “Don’t let her fool you.” he whispers in her ear, so only Zelda can hear. After that he lets his eyes drift back to Lilith for a second, before he teleports away to Satan knows where.

As soon as he’s gone, Zelda releases a loud sigh and the atmosphere in the room seems to change.

Lilith frowns at her and the look that Zelda gives her tells her that she knows something.

“What is it?” Lilith wonders with curious eyes.

Zelda’s eyes are wide and her lips are parted, “I remember something.” she mumbles, “I’ve always known, but it’s like I forgot.” she says louder this time. “How could I have forgotten?”

“Zelda, what is it?” Lilith asks, her voice growing more urgent.

“It was a deal. A deal between the Dark Lord and Faustus. I remember hearing him pray about it one night,” she entangles her fingers in her hair and softly shakes her head, “but he must have put a spell on me or something so I’d forget about it.”

Lilith moves closer to her, eyeing her intently, “What deal? What did you hear?”

The wheels in her head start to turn and she opens her mouth but then closes it again. After a few seconds she finally says: “If Faustus helped me walk down the path of night, Satan would,” she swallows, “bind us together.”

Lilith frowns at her, “Bind how? Like a wedding?”

Zelda shakes her head, as she tries to focus on the memory that is coming back to her in vague bits.

She stands up and starts pacing around the room, staring at the floor beneath her feet as she goes. Lilith stays silent, watching Zelda and drinking in the sight of her now that she still has the chance.

After a moment or two, Zelda raises her head. Her jaw drops and she gapes at Lilith. “If I’d leave him,” her head falls down again and she wraps her arms around her middle, “I’d die. And when Faustus dies, I’ll die too.”

Lilith stares at her with a mortified look on her face and a soft “What?” emerges from her. She really wasn’t expecting something like that.

“As soon as I found out, I ran away. But, after a few miles, my legs started to burn. My whole body started to burn and I could literally feel myself dying. As soon as I tried to turn around to go back to him, the pain stopped and I felt normal again.”

Tears start to form in Zelda’s eyes, and Lilith wants to do nothing more than to pull her into her arms and tell her it will be okay. That they will find a way for her to get out of this. But, that would be a lie. Lilith doesn’t know what they can do about this. With Satan involved it would be nearly impossible to get out of this.

Zelda’s body starts to tremble as she burries her face in her hands. Lilith can’t watch her like that. She’s still angry with her and she is still hurting, but she steps forward and wraps her arms around her anyway.

Lilith hates how much holding Zelda close to her feels like home, like she is right where she is supposed to be. Zelda’s body fits perfectly against her own and her face seems to be made to be nuzzled against her neck. She hates how she can feel her anger fade away, how she can feel her heart start to heal from all the damage it has sustained since they broke up. She simply hates how much she loves Zelda. Lilith still asks herself why she loves her so much. The only answer she can think of is, because Zelda is just Zelda. Zelda is the one she is meant to be with, and it’s as simple as that.

She feels Zelda’s breathing return to normal and her shaking ceases. Lilith regains her senses and, slowly, pulls away from her. As soon as they are fully apart, Lilith misses the warmth of Zelda’s body. The sweet scent of her hair and the softness of her cheeks against her neck.

Zelda blinks away a few more tears and gives her a weak smile, “Thank you.”

Lilith tries to return her smile, as she gives her a nod.

A soft sigh comes from Zelda’s mouth and she shakes her head, “Lilith, I can’t live like this. I can’t go back to him and pretend to love him.”

Another sigh fills the air.

“I just... I hate him so much.”

Lilith doesn’t really know how to respond to her. Somehow Zelda’s voice sounds like she is giving up on something, though she doesn’t know on what.

“We’ll find away to get back at that jerk, Zee.”

Zelda snorts, “Then what can we do about him, eh?”

A devlish grin creeps on Lilith’s face, “We could unstitch the crotches in his trousers so they keep splitting, nick all his right shoes. Hell, we could even make his hair turn bright pink. Or, the ultimate punishment, we could put a curse on him so he can’t get his little friend down in his pants up anymore.”

Zelda is fully laughing, covering her mouth with her hand and throwing her head back in amusement, and Lilith joins her in her joy. It’s in that moment that Lilith wonders how long is has been since she has truly laughed.

But, like to all good things, there comes an end to Zelda’s throaty laughter, and as soon as it does, her face turns serious again. Too serious, and Lilith doesn’t like it for a bit.

“There is only one way out of this for me, Lilith. And I need to get out of this.”  
Zelda takes Lilith’s hands into her own, and she notices how her hands are trembling, “But, I need your help.”

Lilith warily blinks at her, squeezing her hands a little tighter and feeling her mouth turn dry, “What do you want me to do?” She asks carefully, afraid for what the answer might be.

Zelda licks her lips, looking up at the ceiling before turning her gaze back to Lilith and whispering with a soft voice:

“Kill me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tum tUM TUUUUUUMMMMMMMM...  
Was that an unexpected turn? Idk. 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought of this, I think y’all know by now how much I love comments and kudos hehehe 
> 
> But yeah HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE ❤️❤️❤️ If you’re lonely tonight, or at any other moment, just send me a message on my tumblr @immacryyowzah bc I’m lonely too lol. 
> 
> Anyways, I love you all and I’ll see you guys in the next chapter 🥳


	9. Get out of this place, don't give them your grace, my dear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR BABES!  
I hope y’all had a great start of 2020 and if you didn’t, I hope the coming weeks or months will be better ❤️
> 
> Okay so, I know part 3 is out (I’ve watched all episodes) and I just want to say that I am going to finish this series no matter what. Fuck canon. I am not one of those writers that stops updating in the middle of the story so don’t worry huns 💕😌 
> 
> This chapter isn’t that long and it’s pretty bad (I didn’t really edit it either lol sorry so it’s probably full of typos) but I’ve been really busy lately and I just wanted to get this out for you guys as soon as possible so please ENJOY! 
> 
> Chapter title is from “Not Giving In” by Tom Walker and the story title is from “Monster In Me” by Little Mix.

“Kill me.”

Lilith looks too dumbstruck to even react. Like she just can’t believe what Zelda just said. Her eyes are wide and her jaw drops as she slightly shakes her head in disbelieve, her brows in a soft frown. 

She warily blinks at Zelda before uttering something that sounds like: “Y-you can’t ask me to do that.” Lilith is breathing rapidly, and she looks like she just wants to crawl into a corner and scream her lungs out of her chest. 

Zelda licks her lips, wrapping her arms around herself and keeping her gaze fixed on the floor. A low sigh escapes from her mouth, but no words follow. She doesn’t know what she is supposed to say. She doesn’t know what Lilith needs to hear so she would actually do it. Because, that’s all she wants right now. To just die on the spot. She doesn’t want to be bound to Blackwood for a second longer. She wants to be no one’s possession, but her own. She won’t have someone take away her freedom. Not if she has a chance to change it. 

“Stop fucking pouting!” Lilith suddenly snaps, making Zelda visibly flinch. She only then realises how her bottom lip has been jutting out and she quickly tries to make a straight face again. Her eyes briefly meet Lilith’s and she sees a certain kind of rage clouding in front of them. As if she is angry at Zelda for trying to make her kill her. Zelda looks at her again, and the anger is gone. The only thing that’s there now is grief. Like she is already mourning her death, eventhough she is still standing alive and kicking in front of her. 

“Would you be able to do it?” Lilith asks with a hushed voice. The only thing that seems to be keeping her upright is the wall behind her, which Lilith is leaning against. 

“What?” Zelda tilts her head slightly, pursing her lips as she does. 

Lilith opens her mouth and closes it again, letting her eyes wander off for a moment. Then she asks: “If I was the one asking you to kill me. Would you be able to do it?To actually kill me?”

Zelda tries to swallow the lump in her throat with great difficulty, while she maintains eyecontact. She wants Lilith to know that her answer is true. 

“If I knew I’d be saving you from something worse than death,” she takes a shaky breathe and continues, “I would be able to do anything.”

Lilith stares at her, her lips parting and Zelda can’t help but notice the way a small spark of happines lights in her eyes. 

A tear rolls down her cheek and, carefully, Zelda reaches out and wipes it away with her thumb. She cherishes the softness of Lilith’s skin beneath her finger tip, for it might be the last time she has the chance. 

“Maybe there is another way, Zelds.” Lilith smiles at her with hopefull eyes, and Zelda pretends she doesn’t notice the hint of fear hiding behind the hope. 

Zelda shakes her head, “I wish there was, but there isn’t. If there was I’d do anything it took for me to get away from that bastard.”

Again the corners of Lilith’s lips turn into a faint smile as she takes Zelda’s hands in her own. “Would you trust me?”

With creased brows, Zelda gives her a questioning look as she stutters, “What?”

Lilith’s grip on Zelda’s hands tightens, “Would you trust me to find a way around this?”

It takes Zelda a moment to really register what she said, but once she does, she gives Lilith a firm nod. “I wouldn’t doubt you for a second.” She always trusted her, even with her life. There was just something about her eyes. A certain kind of spark when Lilith looked at her that told Zelda she would never betrayal her. 

“Then let me. Let me try to fix this for you.”

With glassy eyes, Zelda tries to smile at Lilith as she nods her head a few times. Though, she doesn’t look convinced. 

Lilith returns the small smile and whispers: “Thank you.”

From one moment to the other, they’re kissing each other. Neither one of them know who started it, but they both know what it tastes like. 

It tastes like goodbye. 

Zelda has faith in Lilith, but she knows that when the Dark Lord gets involved with things, you can’t back out of it. This is their last hurrah and they both know it. 

They’re both tender at first. Kissing one another gently, and enjoying the feeling of each other’s lips against their own. But they quickly turn more needy. More desperate. They’re pulling and biting and Zelda is making sure Lilith won’t ever forget her. 

She knows she won’t ever forget Lilith. 

They end up between the sheets of Zelda’s bed, and it’s there that Zelda remembers what if feels like to be loved. 

It’s the one feeling she’s gonna miss when she’ll be gone.

...

Zelda doesn’t know how much time has passed when she wakes up. She only knows that she is naked and that she is alone. The empty side of her bed still feels warm, which means that Lilith only left a small amount of time ago. Feeling a little dizzy in her head, Zelda gets up from her bed and quickly throws her clothes back on. It takes her a few moments to locate every clothing item, but after she gathers most of them, she rushes downstaires. 

She steps into the kitchen and finds Lilith sitting at the table, a cup of still steaming tea standing in front of her. 

“Hello, love.” Lilith greets her with a playfull smile on her face, though her eyes look sad and worried. Nervously, she’s boincing one of her legs up and down under the table. 

Zelda returns the smile and sits down in the chair across from her. Lilith pushes the cup towards her and Zelda can’t help but notice the way her hands and voice shake, “Drink up. It’s still hot.” 

After glancing at the cup for a brief second, Zelda turns her gaze back on Lilith. She eyes her carefully, trying to read her face, but seeing nothing but dejection covered with a smile. Her wild curls look ruffled and she has a certain fear behind her eyes. She looks tired. As if the entire time Zelda had slept, she had been up, overthinking everything. Like, she’s carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. It hurts Zelda to see her that way. 

Slowly, Zelda lifts the cup to her lips. The smell of garlic fills her nose and she instantly knows what is in there. 

“Arsenic.” Zelda states, lowering the cup again. She stares at Lilith and she sees a tear fall down from the corner of her eye. 

“You said you trusted me, right?” Lilith whispers, her voice on the edge of breaking. 

Zelda nods, and she can’t stop herself from tearing up as well. She tries to be strong, if these are her last moments on earth, she won’t spend them crying over her own death. But, the way Lilith is looking at her makes it so much harder to keep her tears at bay. She can tell Lilith is trying to memorize every single one of Zelda’s features. She can see her eyes trailing over her entire face. Sometimes they stop and stare at one particular spot for a few seconds. 

Lilith reaches out and takes Zelda’s free hand in her own, before pressing a kiss against it. Zelda cups Lilith’s face with said hand and Lilith instantly leans in to her touch. 

“I love you, Zelda.” she manages to say, though it sounds like she has a lump in her throat. 

Zelda doesn’t need to think twice about her answer, “I love you too, Lilith. More than you’ll ever realise.”

Without hesitating for a second longer, Zelda raises the cup and drinks the poisoned tea in one go. As she does, she can feel Lilith’s grip on her hand tightning and she hears her let out a sob. Zelda keeps her gaze fixed on the one view she always loved dearly: Lilith’s face. 

She’s starting to lose feeling in her feet, and after a few more moments in her legs. Zelda leans back against her chair, knowing that once the paralysis reaches her heart, her story will be over. Lilith’s chin is trembling, her mouth opening and closing a few times as if she wants to say something, but doesn’t know what. 

“I swear, Zelda, I’m going to save you.” Lilith finally promises, but Zelda is hearing none of it. 

Her vision is already blurring and within a few seconds, everything around her fades and she falls into complete darkness. 

***

Lilith starts violently sobbing as she tries to regain her senses. But, every time she looks at Zelda’s lifeless body, she feels herself starting to choke. Like she can’t breathe and her own tears are threathening to drown her. Eventhough, Lilith has faith in her plan, it still hurts. It hurts to know what it feels like to lose Zelda for good. It hurts to think about the fact that one day, Zelda will be gone and there won’t be a way to get her back. It feels so much worse than all this time she has lived without her by her side. At least then she knew she was healthy and alive. 

Lilith can’t imagine a pain worse than this. Even losing her parents couldn’t compare to the pain she feels. 

Her heart feels like a burden. 

Like it’s too heavy, and she can’t carry it anymore. She just wants to rip it out of her body and not feel a thing. Even the physical pain it would cause her to do so, sounds more appealing to her than what she is feeling now. Her soul is shattering inside of her. And, she can’t imagine anything that could make her feel better, except holding Zelda safe and sound in her arms again. 

“Dear Satan!” 

Lilith looks up through blurry eyes and sees Hilda standing in the doorway, covering her eyes with her hands, but still cautiously looking past them for a second. 

“Zelda? Zelds?” She calls, moving a few inches closer with watchfull steps. 

When no response follows, she ever so carefully removes her hands away from her face. Zelda’s body is slumped against the chair, her eyes are closed and her lips are parted. She isn’t moving. 

Swallowing a lump in her throat, Hilda reaches out and presses two fingers against the side of Zelda’s neck, trying to look for a pulse. 

When she finds none, the only thing that comes out of her mouth is a soft, “How?” 

Her face is already stained in tears as she looks down at the lifeless body of her older sister. 

Lilith can’t speak. Her throat feels dry and her mouth feels too wet. She tries to wipe her own tears, but her hand is shaking too much. A loud sob emerges from her as she wipes her hand over her face and she feels her chest heave. 

“Blackwood...” Lilith somehow manages to utter. 

Hilda’s eyes grow a little wider, before she sets her jaw and her face turns deadly. 

“Did he do this?” She sounds so mad. Like her blood is boiling, and she is determined to see his’ flow. 

It isn’t the truth, but Lilith knows that Hilda won’t understand why she had to do this, so she nods her head. She could use a little help in getting Zelda back. 

“So she was murdered? That means we can put her in the Cain Pit, right?” Hilda asks hopefully, but she doesn’t sound too convinced. 

“I’m afraid it isn’t that easy, Hilda.” Technically Zelda wasn’t murdered, so the cain pit won’t work. But, Hilda isn’t supposed to know that. 

“There must be a way, Lilith.” Hilda pleads as she glances at Zelda’s body once again, “We need to save her!” 

Lilith straightens her spine and stands up. She wipes her tears and tries to get her breathing to return to normal, as she reassures Hilda, “There is a way. It’ll just require you to work with me.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to get my sister back.”

Lilith paints a smile on her face and says: 

“Good. Now, tell me, what do you know of resurrections?”

***

After they laid Zelda’s body on her bed behind locked doors (so that Edward wouldn’t walk in on her), the two witches find themselves teleporting to the house of Faustus Blackwood. Even Hilda, who in Lilith’s opinion usually walks like a toddler, is taking big, steady steps as they make their way to the front door. They don’t even bother knocking. Lilith kicks the door a few times with her booted foot, but it won’t budge. Hilda giggles and snaps her fingers, which makes the door open instantly. Lilith glares at her before they storm inside the house, Lilith holding a gun and Hilda with a large dagger hidden somewhere underneath her clothes. 

They search around the house, putting sleeping spells on every one of Faustus’ employees that cross their path, but they find him nowhere. 

“Where could that bastard be?” Lilith asks herself. 

“I don’t know.” Hilda sighs in annoyance, “The tracking spell said he was here!” 

“Yes, I know Hilda. I was there, remember?” 

Hilda nods her head and starts shambling around the room. They are in the living room and Lilith falls down onto the sofa. 

“He’ll have to come home at some point.”

Hilda frowns at her, “Are you suggesting we just wait until he gets here? That could take forever! Zelda’s corpse isn’t getting any better, you know?” 

“Then what do you suggest?!” Lilith snaps, throwing her a warning look. 

Hilda doesn’t look intimidated, as she shrugs and says: “Maybe he’s in the garden. We haven’t searched there yet.”

Just when Lilith is about to agree to that plan, they both hear the front door open. 

Lilith looks over at Hilda and finds her already looking at her. They throw each other a nod and Lilith dives behind the couch while Hilda quietly makes her way into the next room. 

Lilith hears the sound of heavy footsteps. She tries to visualise where he could be by the sound of his steps. She thinks he is standing by the bookshelf, which would mean he’s standing with his back towards her. Quiet as a mouse, Lilith stands up and finds him indeed looking at the books, tracing his finger over their backs. Carefully, she approaches him, like a predator stalking its prey. As soon as she is close enough, she presses the gun against his head, and she hears him chuckle. 

“Hello, Lilith. What have I done now?” He wonders, sounding rather amused. 

“Put the gun down.”

Lilith looks to the left and finds Hilda with a pair of man’s arms strangled around her neck. 

“I’m sorry, Lilith. He got me from the back, I didn’t see him.” Hilda rambles, looking very, very scared. 

“_That damn butler_. ” Lilith thought. 

“I request you to put the gun down, or your little companion over here, will get it.” The butler smiles devlishly at Lilith as his grip on Hilda’s neck tightens. 

“Don’t do it!” Hilda commands Lilith just before she is about to put it down. “I got him under controle.”

Lilith frowns and that’s when Hilda pushes the dagger she had been keeping up her sleeve through his abdomen. His grip loosens and Hilda turns around and pulls the dagger out of him, before putting a sleeping spell on him. 

“Nunc somnum!” 

The warlock falls down, his body still bleeding, but neither Lilith or Hilda care about that. 

“Now that was just rude.” Faustus says as he nods his head at his unconcious butler. 

In the blink of an eye, Faustus turns around and takes hold of Lilith’s gun. Lilith tries to hold on to it, but he’s strong. She can hear him starting to utter a spell, and from the corner of her eye, Lilith sees Hilda stab his leg with her dagger. 

Faustus groans, but he still has his hands on the gun. Hilda twists the knife a few times and it’s only then that his hands slip away and he falls onto his knees. 

“Murderer.” Hilda hisses into his ear. 

Lilith quickly starts tying his hands and feet together and Faustus asks: “Who did I kill?”

Hilda swallows as she sets her jaw and fights back the tears that are threathening to fall down, “My sister.”

“Zelda?” Faustus frowns, “Is Zelda dead?” 

Hilda pushes the knife down even deeper into his leg, and Faustus cries out in pain. 

“Don’t act like you don’t know already! You killed her!” She shouts as Faustus’ groans grow louder, blood spilling over her hand as she continues to twist the blade around. 

Once he’s tied up, Lilith takes hold of Hilda’s hand, “Stop it, Hilda. You’re not acting like yourself.”

Hilda looks down and she only then notices what a mess she made of Faustus’ leg. 

She pulls the dagger out of him, and swallows, her bottom lip shaking slightly. Lilith puts a hand on her shoulder, “We’ll get her back. Don’t worry.”

Hilda blinks back a few tears and nods her head, still a bit unsure. Lilith takes hold of both Hilda and Faustus and together both witches utter: “Lanuae magicae.” 

In less than a second, all three of them arein the woods. 

“What are you bitches planning to do with me?” 

Lilith grins down at him, a deadly look in her eyes as she says: “It’s payback time.” The devlish smile of her face is replaced by one of pure anger and rage, “Did you really think you’d never have to pay a price for everything you’ve put Zelda through? You piece of filth!” 

She spits in his face, glaring down at him as her hand itches to slit his throat on the spot. Faustus makes a sound of disgust. 

“Let’s just get this over with, shall we?” Hilda murmers, looking more than a little uncertain about what they’re about to do. But, Lilith can’t blame her for that. After all, they’re about to perform a ritual that really should not be done by students of their age. And, they are going to sacrifice one of the Academy’s most promising students. Someone who could easily become the next High Priest. 

Lilith takes a few steps to the side, before she utters a spell while spinning around. As she spins, the shape of a pentagram appears inside a large circle, both made in salt. Every few inches, a lit candle lights the forest. 

Together with Hilda, she pushes Faustus to the edge of the circle, still on his knees, “Are you going to sacrifice me?” He chuckles, not even sounding scared. It’s like he doesn’t believe that they would actually go through with it. 

“A life for a life.” Hilda whispers in his ear, and it’s then that his face seems to turn a little paler. 

“The witching hour is approaching.” Lilith smiles. The moon is already standing high in the sky, and both Lilith and Hilda feel that their powers are starting to be at their strongest. 

“Why are you doing this?”

Lilith snorts. 

“To get Zelda back, of course.” 

Faustus lets out a deep sigh, “How many times do I have to tell you, I did not kill her! When I left her she was perfectly healthy!”

“Do you want me to stitch your lips together or will you keep them closed yourself?” 

“Well I’ve got nothing left to lose now, do I?” Faustus shrugs. 

“Then at least tell me something I’ve wanted to know for a very long time.”

Faustus raises his shoulders yet again, “Fine. What is it?”

Lilith swallows deeply, before taking a deep breath and asking: “Do you love her?”

For a moment he remains silent, seeming to really think about her question, before he answers her, “Is love even real?” 

Lilith raises her brows at him, “Maybe for someone like you, it isn’t.”

He chuckles, “You really think you’re so much better than me, don’t you? You and I, were not so very different. Remember that well, girl.”

Hilda leans in to Lilith, her voice hushed, but still very threathening, “What does that mean? What is he talking about?”

“Just tell me, Lilith.” Faustus continues, “Are you doing all of this for Zelda, or do you just want to do this for yourself?”

Lilith’s jaw drops. She doesn’t know exactly what he is talking about, but somehow it still upsets her. Because, she does understand. The way he’s looking at her makes her mind drift off. 

She swallows and blinks a few times, before pushing all emotions from her face yet again. 

“I think it’s time to start, Hilda.”

“You aren’t capable of doing this. It’s just the two of you and your magic isn’t nearly strong enough to open the portal. Face it, you’re both going to join Zelda in Limbo.”

Ignoring Faustus, Hilda nods her head and moves to stand opposite from Lilith. 

“First, we invoke the hounds.” Lilith announces. She lets her eyes wander back to Blackwood one last time, before she continues: “Hounds of Heaven, Hounds of Hell, Hounds of Earth, guardians of the Door. We summon thee to help us resurrect the fallen daughter.” Her voice is loud, clear and demanding. She shall be heard, even if this is the last thing she does. 

“Nos si vocare te. Nos si vocare te. 

Nos si vocare te. Nos si vocare te.” The two witches chant, as Faustus bows his head down. As if he has peace with the fact that he won’t be coming out of there alive. 

Above their heads, the sound of barking and groaning Hounds emerges, and every one of them can feel shivers run up their spines. 

“Secondly, we must open the door between worlds.” Lilith takes a deep breath, “We bow before the Door that devides the World of the Living from the World of the Dead. With humble grattitude, we ask that it be opened.” A flash of lightning strikes near them and a thunderclap follows. 

“Aperi ianuam. Aperi ianuam. Aperi ianuam. Aperi ianuam.”

Around them, the wind starts to blow, and Lilith feels its coldness caressing her cheek. Then, they hear the sound of heavy chains unlocking, before the loud creaking of an opening gate can be heard. 

Both Hilda and Lilith feel goosebumps start to form on their bodies and the hairs on the back of their necks are starting to stand up. 

Lilith swallows as the last phase approaches. 

“Now, it’s time for the final stage: the sacrifice.”

Lilith moves to stand behind Faustus, and Hilda gives her an uncertain look. “It’s too late to go back now.” Lilith quickly tells her. Hilda nods her head a few times in agreement and, with shaking hands, she gives her the dagger. 

She breathes in through her nose, “Unholiest of Spirits, we offer thee a life for a life! Oh mighty Dark Lord...

“... Vita est vita. Vita est vita...” Hilda continues to chant, over and over again. 

“...By whom all is set afire, thy power be thy path, thy will my desire.”

“...vita est vita.” Hilda says one last time. 

For a moment, Lilith is starting to doubt herself. She knows that this is the right thing to do. Faustus Blackwood is a bad person to say the least, but for some reason, she feels guilty. Especially, because she lied to Hilda about Zelda’s death. She doesn’t even know if she is going to explain the truth to her once all of this is over. Hilda would probably never trust her again. And if Edward found out about this, she herself would be the next person to meet her grave. 

But then, the ache in her heart surfaces again. The way it’s breaking into a million pieces and nothing can ever heal it again. The throbbing pain in her chest. The fear of losing Zelda forever. 

The grief. 

It’s all Lilith needs to take a few pieces of Faustus’ hair in her fist and pull his head up, exposing his neck. “You’re gonna regret this. After all, you did murder an innocent man.” He finally says. 

She doesn’t give him the chance to speak any more. With one swift motion, she slits his throat and scarlet red blood pours down from the cut. Hilda lets out a little gasp and covers her eyes for a few seconds with her hand. 

Letting his still warm body drop to the ground, it suddenly hits her: he’s gone. Zelda is free. They can finally be together without having to give that bastard another thought. 

If they get Zelda back. 

Trying not to let her mind wander off, she continues:

“The hounds invoked. The Doors opened. The price payed in blood. Zelda Spellman, we entreat thee.” Lilith glances at Hilda and together they command: “Rise. Rise! Rise!”

The wind starts to whoosh, the trees around them are going back and forth, and with a soft, uncertain voice Hilda asks, “So, what do we do now?”

Lilith stares up at the sky as the wind starts to turn into a chilly breeze, “We wait for 13 hours.” She turns on her heel and marches away, calling over her shoulder: “And we pray.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos make my day so if you want to make me smile.... you know what to do *winks with two eyes* 
> 
> If anyone wants to hang out with me on Tumblr, my username is @immacryyowzah so feel free to message me ;) I’d love to talk to some more people about the new episodes! 
> 
> See you darlings in the next chapter xoxo 
> 
> OH AND ALSO: MY BIRTHDAY IS ON FEBRUARY 17TH AND THE NEXT CHAPTER PROBABLY WON’T BE POSTED BEFORE THEN SO IF YOU WANT TO MAKE MY BDAY GOOD LEAVE A COMMENT ON WHAT YOU THINK OF MY STORY THANKS


	10. I just wanna make you feel okay but all you do is look the other way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves ❤️
> 
> I HATE to say it, but we are nearing the end. After this chapter, I think there’ll only be one more MAYBE 2... I’m not sure yet. Once I finish this story I’m gonna write a really long coffeeshop AU one shot but idk what I’m gonna write after that so if you have anything that you’d like me to write, feel free to let me know 💕 I feel like I want to start writing Zambo too but since we haven’t gotten a lot of scenes with Mambo Marie yet I’m not sure if it’s a good idea...
> 
> Also: I saw this “Here’s a pile of garbage for y’all. It disgusts me as well. I apologise in advance.“ on a Tumblr post and I thought it was very accurate XD 
> 
> Anyways, please enjoy this chapter! VINNIE T IS IN IT HEHEH
> 
> Chapter title is from Billie Eilish’ “Wish You Were Gay”

Lilith feels a comfortable heat enter her body as she takes a large sip of her coffee. It’s like the caffeine is making her body come back to live, and she feels a soft shudder run up her spine. 

She puts her cup down on the bedside table and takes hold of Zelda’s hand. It feels cold and heavy, and it doesn’t feel quite as soft as it used to. 

It’s been twelve and a half hours since Hilda and her sacrificed Blackwood in exchange for Zelda’s life. Twelve and a half hours of anxiety and fear. Lilith hasn’t left Zelda’s side from the moment they returned from the woods, and Hilda has been popping in every half an hour to make sure everything is okay, and to keep Lilith well hydrated and fed. Little does Hilda know, Lilith has been giving nearly every piece of food she brought up, to Vinegar Tom. Though, Zelda’s familiar isn’t in the mood for eating either. With his mistress dead, he’s slowly starting to fade away as well. He’s been laying by Zelda’s feet this entire time, howling softly, and he only ate the most irresistible pieces of food Lilith offered him. The things that neither one of them wanted, were thrown out of the window. 

Lilith stares down at Zelda’s face. She is so pale. Her lips look a bit blue and there are dark circles beneath her eyes. Her skin has lost its natural glow, and even her hair looks like it lost its bright colour. But, even in death, she is still ever so beautiful. 

Behind her, Lilith hears the door creak open. 

“Edward still has no clue.” Hilda announces, like she has been doing every time she entered the room. As if Edward finding out about Zelda’s death is the most important thing right now. “Oh dear... You don’t look good, Vinnie T.” She pouts at Zelda’s familiar as she walks up to him and starts to pet his head softly. 

“He’s dying, Hilda. A familiar can’t live without its master.” Lilith states. It’s like Hilda refuses to believe such a thing, though it is the truth. 

“Stop saying that.” Hilda gasps at her, before covering the dog’s ears with her hands, “You’re making him feel even worse!”

Lilith rolls her eyes, “Do you want me to stand in the corner until I realise what I’ve done?” she mocks her. 

Hilda squints at her, her nose scrunching up. “Apologize to him.” She demands as she points her index finger at the dog in question. 

“What?” Lilith laughs her off, but Hilda’s expression doesn’t change in the slightest. Not being in the mood to start an argument about something as stupid as a familiar, Lilith sighs and turns her face serious again, “Fine. I am sorry for upsetting the dying dog.”

Hilda breathes out through her nose, and shrugs her shoulders, “That’s better than nothing, I guess.” She glances at her sister’s body and asks: “How long until she wakes up?”

_ “If she wakes up...”  _ Something in the back of Lilith’s mind whispers. The little voice in her head that has been a part of her every since her parents’ death. The voice that keeps reminding her that everything has an end, and it can’t be avoided. It’s telling Lilith that even if Zelda wakes up today, she could still lose her tomorrow, or in a week, in a month, even in 5 centuries, but it Zelda Spellman’s life will come to an end one day. 

Shaking that particular thought away, Lilith answers: “About 20 minutes or so.”

Licking her lips and nodding her head, Hilda sits herself down on the bed, next to Vinegar Tom. Her eyes are darting around the room, looking anywhere but at Zelda. As if she can’t bear to see her sister’s corpse for more than a few seconds. Lilith knows how much this is hurting her. How much it’s hurting her to see her like this. The two sisters had their ups and downs, of course, and Zelda slayed her from time to time, but Lilith knows that Hilda cannot live without Zelda by her side. And neither can Edward. Though he barely ever showes it, he loves his two sisters dearly. More than anything else. 

Hilda finally settles her eyes on Lilith’s face, she’s tearing up a little before she coughs and blinks a few times. After a few seconds, she looks away again, and Lilith is glad about it. Her nervous behavior is making Lilith even more anxious than she already is. 

The next moment, Hilda’s blue eyes are staring out of the window, as she raises her chubby hand to her mouth and starts biting her red painted nails. She starts bouncing her leg up and down and then removes her hand from her mouth. Twisting her finger around a lock of blond hair, she bites her lip impatiently. 

“Stop it!” Lilith snaps, not being able to look at her acting like that for a second longer. 

Hilda leaps up, nearly falling off the edge of the bed she’s sitting on, and accidentally biting her lip a little too hard. She yelps in pain as her teeth pierce through her lip, drawing a scarlet drop of blood. 

Rolling her eyes at the moron in front of her, Lilith turns to the piece of art laying next to her. 

Lilith brushes a piece of hair away from Zelda’s face. It falls down lifelessly. It doesn’t bounce like it usually does when it’s touched, and it makes her heart ache a little more. All those times Lilith had ran her fingers through Zelda’s strawberry blonde curls, come flashing back before her eyes. She remembers how soft they had always been, and how they smelled. 

A soft smile flickers over her face, as she moves her hand to Zelda’s arm, and slowly, lets her fingers trail down it. Her skin is cold, but not quite as cold as it had felt a few minutes ago. Lilith thinks she’s imagining things that aren’t there, but when her fingertips reach the inside of Zelda’s wrist, she feels something... a faint beat. 

Lilith’s lips part and her eyes go a little wider as she presses her fingers against Zelda’s skin a little harder. And, she isn’t imagining things at all. It’s weak, but it’s there. 

“A pulse!” Lilith nearly shouts in happinessas tears start to form in her eyes. Hilda jumps up and quickly crawls over next to Zelda’s body. 

Ever so carefully, Hilda starts tapping her hand against Zelda’s cheek, “Zelds? Zelds, it’s me, Hildy. Are you there?”

No response follows, and Lilith’s vision starts to blur. She can feel thic, salty pearls rising in her eyes and with every passing second, they rise higher. She tries to stop them from falling, but the moment she blinks, they roll down her cheeks. They feel warm against her skin. 

It’s like they’re falling from her heart. From the deepest pain inside of her. They’re falling like raindrops from the sky and she cannot stop them. 

Despair...

That’s what they feel like. As if they’re the only thing Lilith manages to do now. 

Her chin is shivering, and she just keeps on looking at Zelda’s pale face. What if she never opens her eyes again? What if Lilith never gets the chance to see her smile again? To see that little gap between her teeth that Zelda hates so much, but Lilith loves?

“Zee?” Lilith calls with a shaking voice, “I know you’re there, love. But, you have to fight. Come back to us. You can do it, I know you can. You’re strong enough!” From the corner of her eye, Lilith sees Hilda take hold of Zelda’s free hand. She presses it against her chest as she whispers words of encouragement, and Lilith starts doing the same. She kisses Zelda’s knuckles and does what she has been doing from the moment she could talk: She prays to the her God: “Oh mighty Dark Lord, give our fallen daughter back. Let her return to the World of The Living. Please...”

Suddenly, in one swift motion, Zelda sits up straight as she takes a sharp breath of air. Her eyes are wide, bright and vibrant as her chest heaves heavily. Lilith feels Zelda’s hand take hold of hers with great strenght, and Lilith just cannot describe how happy she is. 

“Lilith?” Zelda whispers, her voice still a bit hoarse, before looking at her younger sister, “Hilda?” She blinks warily a few times, before looking down and then up again. “My head hurts...” she whispers, pulling the hand Hilda had been holding back and pressing it against her temple. She coughs a few times and a look of pure pain flashes across her face, “and my chest.” she adds, her hand now moving to below her collarbones. 

Lilith frowns at her before turning her head and giving Hilda a questioning look, “Hilda, she isn’t supposed to feel like this. She should be healthy and happy! What’s wrong with her?” She asks, her voice urgent and alarmed as fear clouds in front of her eyes. 

“Will you calm down?” Hilda replies sounding entirely unbothered, “I don’t feel very well either when I come back from the Cain Pit. But, that’s normal. It takes a few minutes and then she’ll be right as rain.”

Lilith really wants to believe her, but then Zelda starts coughing once again and Lilith gives Hilda a look that tells her she isn’t nearly convinced, but she doesn’t mention it again. Instead, she turns to the redhead laying on the bed and asks her: “Do you remember what happened?” 

As soon as her coughing stops, Zelda looks up at her and after thinking for a few moments, she nods her head. “How did you bring me back?” she then asks with a husky voice. 

“We- uhh... Well- You see, we kinda, sorta, you know...” Hilda starts to stutter, wringing her hands together, before fiddling with the hem of her dress. She throws a hopefull look at Lilith and gives Zelda an akward smile. 

Lilith continues with a gentle voice, “We sacrificed Blackwood so we could resurrect you.” 

Zelda stiffens for a second. Her lips part and close a few times as she looks down at her lap. She then pulls her hand away from Lilith’s grip and utters quietly: “You sacrificed him?”

Both Hilda and Lilith frown down at Zelda, fearing that they had done the wrong thing, “Yes... Now you are free. I thought that’s what you wanted?” Lilith asks, sounding more than a little confused. 

She remains silent for a while, her gaze darting from Lilith to Hilda and back, before tears spring up in her green-blue eyes. A choked “Thank you.” emerges from her mouth followed by a loud sob, as her body starts to shudder and she desperately tries to wipe her tears away. Hilda doesn’t hesitate for a second, immediately launching herself forward and gathering Zelda into her arms. She makes soft soothing noises, as she rubs small circels on Zelda’s back in a comforting motion. Zelda lets her body fall against her sister’s as she releases a few more sobs, but her eyes never leave Lilith’s. 

They look at each other, with so many emotions on their faces, that neither one of them is really sure about what the other feels. Lilith sees gratitude, fear, confusion, hurt, sadness, happiness, love and so many other things on Zelda’s face. She wouldn’t be able to describe the exact look with something as simple as words, but she understands. Some part of her just knows. She can tell Zelda feels the same about her. 

“I’m glad you’re back.” Lilith says honestly, and Zelda’s eyes seem to turn a bit brighter, though she doesn’t say anything. But, she doesn’ have to. 

Somehow, they never needed words to understand each other. 

***

“Something is not right, Hilda.” Lilith sighs in despair as she strokes her hand through her thic, dark curls. She starts pacing around the room, looking down at the floor, her shoulders tensed. 

Zelda’s coughing and the pain in her chest and head still haven’t stopped, and above all of that, she has gotten a very high fever as well. Luckily, after drinking one of Hilda’s potions, the fever had dropped slightly and she had fallen asleep. 

Hilda rubs her fingers together as she bites her lip, “It just takes time.”

In one swift motion, Lilith turns around to face her as she snaps, “It’s been 10 hours since she came back to life. How long did you say it was going to take for her to feel well again?”

Rolling her eyes, Hilda murmers something that Lilith cannot understand. 

“Speak the hell up, woman!” Lilith shouts, stopping in front of the other witch and giving her a very dirty glare. “How long?” Lilith repeats her question, but even louder this time. 

“A few minutes.” Hilda repeats, articulating better this time. She takes a piece of her dress in her hand and starts wrapping it around her finger, her eyes moving around, but never coming anywhere near Lilith. 

“10 hours, Hildegard! 10!” 

Hilda flails her hand around, her eyes closing for a moment, “I know, I know. Do you want me to feel even worse about myself?” 

“It’s what you deserve.” Lilith spits out, snorting through her nose. She never should’ve trusted Hilda. She knew she should’ve listened to her gut that told her that this wasn’t right. Zelda isn’t supposed to feel like this, and Lilith knew it from the starts. 

“We must do something.” She starts walking around in circles once again, “You’re good at potion making, right? Don’t you know a recipe that could help her?”

Rubbing her temple a few times, Hilda thinks and starts murmering different spells and recipes to herself, before she shrieks and then says: “I know that when a witch or warlock is envolved in death, wheter it’s their own or someone else’s, they can get a bit sick. It can happen when you get resurrected or when you resurrected someone. Death is something very tricky and one isn’t meant to play with it. If you get sick after messing with it, it’s because the Dark Lord is punishing you. There is a potion and I do know how to make it, but I don’t know if it’ll help her.”

“We can at least try.” Lilith turns on her heel and exits the room, after calling over her shoulder: “You make the damn potion and I’ll check on Zelda.” 

She quickly climbs the staires, taking two steps at a time and in just a few seconds, she reaches the door to Zelda’s room. Staring at the door, she just stands there for a moment. Thinking about everything that had happened in the last few days. About everything that could happen in the following days. About how she fears that Zelda will still be ripped away from her life. She isn’t healthy at all, which can only mean that the afterlife had wanted Zelda to stay there, and not return to the world of the living. And if the realm wanted something, it would collect. 

The sound of heavy footsteps snaps Lilith out of her thoughts. 

Edward. 

In the blink of an eye, she opens the door and walks into the room, making sure to shut the door behind her without making any noise. Suddenly, Lilith wonders how Edward hasn’t noticed anything all this time. He still believes that Zelda is at the academy, safe and sound. As far as Lilith knows, no one is aware that Faustus has perished, and perhapse it’s better that way. She knows the coven will find out sooner or later, but Lilith hopes for the latter. 

Lilith turns around and sees Zelda sitting up, leaning her back against the headboard and Vinegar Tom laying by her feet. The dog has been feeling extremely better since his mistress returned, and Lilith is happy about that. She knows Zelda would have been devastated if something had happened to him in her absence.

Their eyes meet, but Zelda doesn’t say anything. She just gives her a faint smile and Lilith knows that she’s in pain. Her face looks sorrowed. Her fist is clenched around a piece of the blanket that’s laying on top of her, and her jaw looks tense. 

Remaining eyecontact, Lilith carefully steps towards the bed as she returns Zelda’s smile. “How are you feeling?” she asks once she is close enough. 

Exhaling deeply through her nose, Zelda answers: “All my muscles ache. It’s like I fell from a rooftop and landed on my back.” She tries to chuckle, but Lilith can tell that her body won’t allow her to. It breaks Lilith’s heart a little. 

“A warm bath might help. You know, to relax your muscles?” Lilith proposes, raising her eyebrows at the other witch. 

But, Zelda only gives her a tired look, “I won’t be able to take one by myself.”

Lilith knows that what she’s about to suggest might come across as pervy, but she doesn’t care about that in the slightest. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time she gave that impression. 

“I could help you.” she propositions, an akward look on her face, before she quickly adds: “And I’ll keep my hands to myself, don’t worry.” 

At first, Lilith fears she has said the wrong thing, but after a moment or two, a beautiful, broad smile appears on Zelda’s face as she agrees, “I’d like that. Thank you.”

Lilith can’t help but grin like a fool too, before she excuses herself, “in that case, I’ll be right back.”

Glancing at Zelda one last time, she turns around and emerges the room. She crosses the corridor and slips into the bathroom, thanking Satan that Edward didn’t see her. 

She quickly prepares a hot bath for Zelda, dipping her hand in the water a few times to determine wheter it’s still too hot or too cold. With a snap of her fingers a few flowers appear in the water, along with a lot of bubbles and some salts and scented oils. Around the bathtub, she sets a few candles, that she knows are always stored in the cabinet by the wall, and lights them, before dimming the lights in the room. After making sure the water is the good temperature, she takes out a big, fluffy towel and reminds herself that she should get Zelda some fresh pyjama’s as well. 

Somehow, being able to take care of Zelda brings her joy. She doesn’t know why she likes it so much, but she has a feeling that she wants to do small things like this for her for all eternity. She remembers how she used to tippy toe out of Zelda’s bedroom and go downstaires to make her breakfast. At least on the days when she knew Edward wasn’t home. Sometimes, Hilda would already be up and about and she’d help her. Probably for the best, because without Hilda’s help, Lilith would have burned the Spellman’s house down to the ground more than once. She wasn’t a great chef, to say the least, but she loved doing these kind of things for Zelda. And, more specifically, she loved the kisses Zelda used to give her, to thank her for her efforts. 

Once she’s satisfied with what she has done, she retreats to Zelda’s bedroom, again being more than thankfull for not walking in on Edward. 

Zelda is still sitting upright, Vinnie T now laying next to her while she scratches his tummy. As soon as the familiar notices someone has entered the room, his head snaps up. When he sees it’s Lilith, a deep growl arises from his throat. 

“Oh shut up, you know I wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Lilith sighs in annoyance as she rolls her eyes, but the dog continues to snarl. He knows that’s a lie. 

Zelda gently pets his head, “It’s okay Vinnie, she’s just gonna help me take a bath.” Still, he looks at Lilith suspiciously. 

Vinegar barks one last time before jumping off the bed, and moving to his basket where he lays himself down. He’s still eyeing Lilith very carefully, as she moves to Zelda and slowly pulls the covers away from her. A shiver rolls down Zelda’s spine as the cold air hits her body. 

“Sorry about that.” Lilith apologises as she continues to remove the several blankets. 

Gently, Lilith places one arm around Zelda’s back, and one beneath her knees, before picking her up and teleporting them to the bathroom. Lilith can see in how much pain she is, but Zelda’s pretending to hide it, so Lilith pretends she doesn’t notice. Lilith knows that Zelda hates it when people see her so called ‘weakness’. She wants to appear strong all the time, though even Zelda Spellman can’t keep that mask on all the time. Lilith has seen her break down. She has seen her walls crumble and she has seen her at her worst, even though Zelda would never admit that. 

Setting Zelda gently back on her feet, Lilith clears her throat, “Do you want me to...help you get rid of those?” she asks nervously as she gestures at Zelda’s clothes, which are consisting of an oversides t-shirt topped by an old flannel and some grey pyjama pants. 

“Would that be weird to you?” Zelda wonders, as she grips the edge of the bathtub to remain standing upright. 

Shaking her head, Lilith playfully answers: “It’s fine by me. It wouldn’t be the first time I got you out of your clothes.” 

The sound of Zelda’s soft giggles fills the air and Lilith’s heart seems to swell with love as she hears it. It’s a beautiful sound, one she has always cherished. Even when she hadn’t had the chance to hear it anymore. 

Lilith reaches out and carefully removes the flannel from Zelda’s shoulders and down her arms. After folding it and putting it away, she places her hands on Zelda’s waist. Letting her eyes look up, she catches sight of Zelda’s eyes. They’re boring holes through her soul ans they’re making her knees feel weak. The corners of Zelda’s mouth move up, a small smile forming on her lips and Lilith returns it, feeling her heart rate go up with every passing second. It would be so easy to just lean forward and kiss the smile off her face...

Putting that particular thought aside, Lilith takes the fabric of Zelda’s t-shirt in her hands, and she ever so carefully lifts it over Zelda’s head as she moves her arms up. It then hits Lilith that Zelda isn’t wearing a bra, and so she keeps her eyes  very  focussed on her face. Though, the beautifully pale skin a little below her face seems to be screaming Lilith’s name, she doesn’t give in. Placing her hands on the waistband of Zelda’s pants, Lilith carefully pulls them down along with her knickers, and-with difficulty-Zelda steps out of them. 

Again, Lilith hooks one arm under Zelda’s knees and one beneath her back, and scoops her off her feet. Gradually, Lilith lowers Zelda into the water, and Zelda doesn’t even flinch when her bare skin touches the warm water. Once she is completely covered in water, Zelda closes her eyes and lets out a content sigh that nearly sounds like a moan. 

The sound of it makes Lilith want to do very inappropriate things to her. 

She shakes her head slightly, and once Lilith knows that Zelda is fully settled, she says: “I’m gonna get some fresh pyjama’s for you, I’ll be right back.” 

Not wanting to risk getting caught by Edward while crossing from one room to another, Lilith teleports back to Zelda’s bedroom. She strolls over to the closet and soon locates a fresh pair of pyjama’s. Taking them into her arms, Lilith scans the room with her eyes, looking for Zelda’s slippers. After a few seconds, she spots them beneath the bed. Lilith walks to the side of the bed and crouches down through her knees and reaches out for them, when her hand brushes against a hard fabric. 

A frown appearing on her face, Lilith looks under the bed and finds a small wooden box standing next to the two slippers. Her curious nature taking over, she pulls the box towards her without thinking twice. With a flick of her wrist, she opens it. 

The box is filled to the brim with papers. Deep down, she knows that she shouldn’t be doing this, but still, Lilith folds one open and she knows right away what the paper in her hand is. 

Love letters. 

Love letters written by Lilith, to be exact. 

_ “My dearest Zelda, _

_ I miss you.  _

_ I miss waking up next to you, my love. I miss going to bed, knowing that I’m yours. I miss the feeling of your hands in my hair, the way you used to caress my cheek and the sweet names you used to call me. I know it’s my own fault....” _

Lilith can’t stand to read those words anymore. They bring back too many bad memories. 

She grabs another paper from the box...

_ “My darling, _

_ I dreamt of you last night. I dreamt of how beautiful you are. About how your eyes flicker in the moonlight, and how they sparkle when you smile. They’re like a field of grass that holds a billion untold stories and hidden mysteries. I want to discover those. I want to know the truth that lies beneath those green pearls of yours.  _

_ In your eyes, I see a forest full of trees. I see a beam of sunlight shine through the leaves, and I get lost in that forest every time I look at them.  _

_ If I had the chance I’d count the freckles on your cheeks. Those angels’ kisses, sprinkled across your ivory face and your rosy cheeks like snowflakes on a midwinter’s night.  _

_ Every time you smile at me, I can feel my heart smiling along. For you it’s an easy, quick movement, but know that when you smile at me, I’ll still be thinking about it at night. I’ll always think about your smile...” _

...And another...

_ “...you’re so special to me. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before. It’s like I finally belong somewhere, like I finally have a purpose in life, which is: making you happy. I don’t want to spend a day of my life without you by...” _

... one more...

_ “I know I could just call you, but where would be the fun in that? I know you’re on vacation right now, so I’m writing this so you can read it when you get back. I hope you’re having a great time in Brussels, but please be carefull. I can’t stand the thought of something happening to you...” _

Then, Lilith comes across a letter that wasn’t written by her. She had never read it either. 

_ “My Lilith, _

_ How beautiful, and special you are.  _

_ I want to go back to the way things were before all of this nonsense happened between us, my dear.  _

_ Can we go back to the way things were? Can we go back to the days when we were getting kicked out of the library for laughing too hard?  _

_ Back to the days when we were snuggled up on the couch together, and watching our favorite movies?  _

_ Back to the days when we were laying on our backs in the grass, watching the stars?  _

_ Though, I was never really watching the stars in the sky, and I was never watching the television. I was watching the sparkling stars in your eyes and in your dark locks. _

_ Your hair... _

_ It’s thic, and wild and twisted. It smells like honey and lavender.  _

_ It makes you mysterious. It’s always hiding parts of your face, and in a way, hiding parts of your soul.  _

_ When you’re sad, I can see the way you tug on the two front pieces, and how you brush them so they cover the corners of your eyes. You don’t have to hide it from me, my love. You’re gonna need more than a few pieces of hair to hide your feelings from me.  _

_ At least, that’s how it used to be.  _

_ I miss those days.  _

_ I miss you.  _

_ I miss you and your perfect smile, your dark curls, your wicked grin and your foolish laughter. I miss getting kicked out, I miss cuddling with you and I miss staring at your beauty when you aren’t looking.  _

_ I miss us.  _

_ Why can’t we go back to the way things were?  _

_ Zelda S _

_ x _

Lilith stares out of the window, the piece of paper falling down from her fingertips. Why did Zelda never send this one to her? If she had, Lilith would have known that she missed her, and maybe they could have gotten back together. Maybe none of this would have happened, and maybe she would never have had to die in the first place. Maybe they’d be happily together right now.

‘Maybe’...

A word Lilith’s mother taught her never to use. And she was right. After all, it doesn’t matter now. 

Suddenly remembering that Zelda must be waiting for her to get back, Lilith puts the papers back into the box and takes Zelda’s slippers into her hands. Her heart feels heavy. She shouldn’t have done this. She had invated Zelda’s privacy, which is something Zelda hates most. And she can’t be blamed for it. 

Quickly, she teleports back to the bathroom after putting the box safely away again. 

The scent of different kinds of oils and shampoos fill her nose, as she catches sight of Zelda. She’s laying in the water, bubbles covering her and her eyes closed. The light of the candles makes her skin seem to glow like gold and Lilith loses her breath for a mere second. 

It’s like she’s looking at a godess. 

“That took you long enough.” Zelda chuckles softly. 

Lilith doesn’t reply, she just averts her eyes and places the fresh clothes on top of the cupboard by the sink. 

Zelda’s eyes pop open when she doesn’t hear any response. As soon as she spots the pair of slippers Lilith had brough along, she sighs softly, squeezing the bridge of her nose with her fingers. 

“You found those old letters, didn’t you?”

Internally, Lilith curses how observant Zelda is, but on the outside, she only nods her head, whispering softly: “I’m sorry. I violated your privacy, I had no right...”

“They’re your letters, Lilith. You wrote them. It doesn’t matter.” Her eyes close again and she sinks a little deeper into the water as she leans back. 

_ Not all of them were Lilith’s.  _

“Still, I shouldn’t have done it. I apologise.” Lilith says sincerely. Zelda nods her head in acceptance, seeming not to want to go into it any further, but Lilith can’t help but ask her: “Why did you keep them?”

Zelda’s eyes snap open again, she obviously wasn’t prepared for that question. 

“Does it matter?”

“Yes.” Lilith says matters of factly. 

Piercing green eyes meet Lilith’s blue ones, before Zelda swallows. Her chin shivers slightly and she grips the edge of the bathtub in her hand. Lilith sees goosebumps form on Zelda’s arm, as slowly, some water drops start sliding off her skin. 

She shakes her head, and shrugs. 

“Because, they’re beautiful.” She answers simply, “Whenever I feel bad or unwanted I read them. They make me cry, but they make me feel better.” A small smile forms on her pink lips, but it disappears as quickly as it had come, “They remind me of better days.” 

Licking her lips, Lilith goes to stand next to the bathtub, placing her hand on Zelda’s and rubbing her thumb up and down her skin. 

“I read one you wrote as well...”

For a second, Zelda tenses, and she looks up at Lilith in horror.

“...and I loved it. Why didn’t you send it to me?” Lilith quickly adds. 

Again, Zelda lifts her shoulders. 

“I was scared, though I cannot remember why. I’ve never been afraid of you.”

Lilith lets her fingers trail through Zelda’s wet hair, “And you will never have to be.” Their eyecontact doesn’t stop for what feels like forever. They keep staring into each others eyes, gradually leaning in to one another. Lilith is so very tempted to kiss her, but she can’t do it. If she kisses Zelda now, she’ll want to stay with her forever. And she can’t do that. She needs time. She has been wanting to leave Greendale for ages, but she never seemed to be able to find the right time. She knows now is not the time either, but before Zelda and her can built any kind of relationship again, she needs space and tile to think. To sort everything out. 

Zelda places a wet hand against Lilith’s cheek, looking at her intently, like she is trying to read her mind. And, she appears to be succesfull, because suddenly, her eyes go wide and her lips part in surprise. 

“You’re leaving.” Zelda states quietly, sounding scared and heartbroken at the same time. 

Lilith closes her eyes for a second and then opens them again, “I need to be alone for a while.” 

Zelda looks at her as if she had just smacked her right in the face, and Lilith feels her trying to pull back the hand that she is holding, but Lilith doesn’t let her. “Please, try to understand.” she lets out a deep sigh and squeezes Zelda’s hand a little tighter, “I never mourned my parents. I never knew who had killed them and I was so focussed on finding the person who did, that I never gave myself the chance to process everything.”

Looking down, Zelda avoids Lilith’s gaze and Lilith knows that she feels guilty. 

“Zelda, look at me.” she says gently, and so Zelda does. She sees terror in her eyes. 

“I know you had to do it, and I forgive you. Me having to leave has nothing got to do with you, remember that. You’re the only reason I haven’t left this godawful place for good.”

Zelda nods her head, and she seems slightly less panicked than seconds before, but still, she doesn’t look convinced. 

Trying to bring back the peaceful atmosphere that had been there before, she says: “Come on, let’s get you out of this bathtub, or your skin will get all wrinkly.” Lilith chuckles, but Zelda doesn’t join her. She remains quiet, and she’s staring at their joined hands. 

Lilith presses a light kiss to the back of Zelda’s hand, letting her lips linger there for a few seconds longer than she actually needs to, before putting it back down into the water. She tries to hook an arm under Zelda’s knees, but she stops her. 

“No, I’ll do it myself.” she snarls. 

“Zelda, you can barely walk by yourself.” Lilith tries, but she seems to be taking none of it. 

“I said: I’ll do it myself!” Her eyes snap back up at Lilith’s, and she looks so... hurt. 

“Darling, I know you don’t want me to leave, but that’s no reason to harm your body like this.”

Zelda throws her head back and a hollow laugh escapes her throat. “Do you really think I can’t live without you? I’m not some damsel in distress you need to save, Lilith.” She spits out Lilith’s name like it’s a curse. “Maybe it’s hard for you to wrap your head around this, but newsflash: I do not need you!”

Lilith holds up her hands and tries to remain calm, “You’re upset, I get it, but you don’t mean all of this.”

Zelda narrows her eyes, “No, actually, I do. And, I want you to leave. Right. Now.” 

“Zelda...”

“Go!”

“Fine!” Lilith replies in an even harsher voice than Zelda’s, “I’ll leave right now, but don’t expect to see me ever again, Zelda Spellman!”

With that, Lilith turns around and storms out of the room, not even hearing how Zelda is calling her name and pleading for her to come back. She had wanted to wait a little longer, until she knew Zelda was fully recovered, but now she just can’t stand to be around her for a second longer. She tried to be patient, but patience has never been her strongest characteristic. She has a feeling she’s going to regret this later, but she really can’t care less about that. 

She runs down the staires and as she does, she nearly walks into Hilda, who’s holding a tray with tea and biscuits. 

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” Hilda asks playfully, before she sees that Lilith’s expression is anything but playfull. 

She doesn’t even reply, continueing to run down the staires, before Hilda hears the front door close with a very loud bang. 

Quickly setting the tray down on the nearest step, Hilda hurries up the remaining staires and rushes down the corridor. She finds the door leading to the bathroom standing open and she immediately marches inside. There she finds her older sister, sitting up in the bathtub, sobbing. 

“Zelds?” Hilda calls softly as she inches closer to the tub, “What happened?”

Tears rolling down her cheeks and her lip trembling, Zelda manages to choke out: “She’s gone. Forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope those love letters weren’t too cheesy lol. I have never really been in love so it’s very hard for me to write stuff like that, but still, I hope you liked this chapter and I just wanna say thank you for sticking with me all this time :)   
I appreachiate every single one of my readers 
> 
> So if you have any ideas on what I should write after this and after (or maybe before) the coffeshop au, let me know here or on Tumblr @immacryyowzah
> 
> Have a great day, and I’ll see y’all in the next (and maybe final?) chapter!!!


	11. Baby, I was afraid before, but I'm not afraid anymore Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END HAS COME!!!  
This is the last chapter but because it is literally 15k words, I decided to post it in two parts. I’m gonna post the second part right after posting this one. 
> 
> But yeah this is the last chapter and I’m actually so sad about it! I got attached to this story :( 
> 
> Anyway... I really hope you’ll enjoy it and I just wanna say thank you to every single one of my readers. None of this would have happened without you guys ❤️
> 
> By the way, sorry for these sodding long notes every damn chapter...
> 
> And also: WASH YA HANDS KIDS! Please stay safe while this Corona virus is going around! 
> 
> Chapter title is from ”Heaven Is a Place on Earth” by Belinda Carlisle and some lyrics of this song is also mentioned in part 2 
> 
> Enjoy :)

She’s running. Her legs are moving as fast as they can, small drops of sweat covering her face and adrenaline pumping through her veins. Some strange power is roaring whitin her. Something that continues to keep her legs moving, and withholds her from ever stopping. The sound of her beating heart is pouding through her head, and it’s the only thing reminding her that she’s alive. Her legs shake, and she’s panting, as she takes rapid breaths of air. 

She tries to run from him, but it’s like she’s tied down to the ground. Her legs are still moving back and forth, but without any result. It’s like she’s trying to run while standing against a wall. It’s useless.  
Zelda is standing still, no matter how much effort she puts in trying to run. Everything around her is dark, and quiet, so even if she was able to move, she wouldn’t know where she was supposed to go. She just can’t escape him. 

Before Zelda has time to try anything else, he grabs her hair and pulls her into him. 

“Did you really think you could get away from me that easily, Zelda?” She hears Faustus’ evil laughter in her ear and she feels his hot breath on the back of her neck. He yanks at her waist and spins her around so she faces him. He punches her nose with his fist, and Zelda can feel blood starting to seep down from it. A sharp pain goes through her entire head as she tastes a crimson drop of blood entering her mouth. 

And then suddenly, he presses his lips against hers. She tries to avert her face from his, but he’s holding her tight, making sure she has no chance to leave. She can feel his rough hand climb up her leg, until it reaches her panties. He’s pulling it and rubbing his crotch against her body. 

Zelda screams loudly, and it’s only then that she wakes up. 

Her chest is heaving and she’s breathing hastily. It’s like all air has been sucked out of her lungs, or as if her head is being held under water. Zelda can feel sweat on her back and she feels like she is suffocating under the weight of her blankets, so she throws them off. The chilly night air hits her body and a shiver rolls down her spine. Her throat feels so incredibly dry, and the room seems to be spinning around her. Swallowing, Zelda presses a hand against her chest. It hurts.  
She can’t even see clear. Her vision is hazy and she blinks a few times. 

Zelda’s nights have been going like this ever since Lilith left. She goes to bed around the witching hour, falls asleep after hours of turning around in her bed, and has the same nightmare, over and over again. Every time, she wakes up like this: entirely panicked, a stabbing pain in her chest, and the feeling that she simply cannot breathe. Zelda doesn’t know what she prefers, being asleep but having that same horrible nightmare, or being awake. 

Two weeks of restless nights, are slowly starting to become too much for her. The sickness she’d felt after returning from the dead, had left a few hours after Hilda had given her some special kind of potion. But, it had quickly been replaced by even worse pain in her chest. Though, she knows what has been causing it. 

She misses Lilith. 

Only Satan knows where she is right now, but Zelda is worried about her. Zelda had hurt her once again, and she doesn’t know how to make it up to her. Hell, she doesn’t even know if she’s ever going to see her again. But that’s a possibility she’d rather not think about. 

Like she does every night, Zelda teleports herself downstaires. For a few seconds, her vision is even more blurry than it already was, but it passes as quickly as it had come. After that, she starts making herself a cup of tea. It’s the only thing that has managed to calm her nerves a little these past few weeks. That, and of course, her secret ingredients: a dash of whiskey and some honey. 

She sits herself down by the table, when she hears the front door close ever so quietly. However, not nearly quiet enough to go unnoticed by Zelda’s ears. Then she hears the soft sound of creeping footsteps approaching the kitchen, before Edward appears in the doorway. He jumps up when he sees her sitting there. 

“What are you doing here? You should be asleep.” Edward asks, pressing a hand against his heart. 

She knows by his clothes that he went to see that human girl, Diana. He is wearing a neat white shirt, matched with his most expensive navy blue pants and his favorite leather shoes. Zelda fails to understand why her brother keeps on running after that girl. She’s sweet and not nearly as ugly as Zelda would have liked, but she is mortal. Her life will be over in what will seem like a blink of an eye to Edward. And what will he do then? 

Zelda raises her eyebrows at him, “I could ask you the same thing.” 

A few days after Lilith left, Edward had found out about Zelda’s medical condition. He didn’t know about the resurrecting part and he certainly didn’t know about the part where Faustus Blackwood was sacrificed, but he did know that Zelda was ill. Though, she wasn’t sure if he knew the reason behind her current state. 

Edward narrows his eyes at her, before walking to the sink and filling a glass with water. He then sits down across from her and looks at her intently.  
“Seriously though, what’s the matter?”

Zelda huffs at him. She really isn’t in the mood to have a open hearted conversation, and definitely not with her brother. Plus, she knows that his concern is just a trick to make sure she doesn’t ask further questions about his mortal shag. 

“Zee...” Edward tries, sounding a lot more patient than he usually is, “You can tell me anything.” Maybe that girl has a good influence on him after all. 

“Even if it is about my love life?” If she was going to tell him something, it wouldn’t be about her death. 

Edward swallows, his jaw seeming to go a bit tighter as he nods his head firmly.  
“Of course.” He tries to smile, but it looks more like a grimace. It’s a priceless sight, really. 

Zelda sighs, before taking another sip of her tea and suddenly wishing that she had put a lot more whiskey in it. 

“There is this... person, and we had a,” she struggles to find the right word, “disagreement. It’s been two weeks and I haven’t heard from her since. Right now, I don’t even know where she is.”

Edward licks his lips, a knowing grin on his face, “Lilith?”

Zelda furrows her brows in confusion, “No, of course not. I don’t even know her that well.” She quickly says, trying to sound as unbothered as possible. Though, she utterly fails to do so. 

Rolling his eyes fondly, Edward sighs: “Everyone knew about you two. Even if I hadn’t walked in on the pair of you four times, I’d still have found out eventually.”

“Wait, what? You saw us? When? How?” Zelda rambles, her heart rate going up with every passing second. She really thought they had been careful, but apparently not. 

“Once in the library, two times on the kitchen counter and once in the Herbiology classroom. Honestly, what are you? Animals?” His face looks slightly disgusted, but he also seems quite amused. Those particular memories make a smug grin creep on her face, but she quickly pushes it away as she realises that she’s still having this conversation with her brother. 

Zelda starts stuttering, before she finally manages to choke out real words.  
“Why did you never say something?” 

He shakes his head slightly, “That would only have made it even more akward.” 

Maybe, that’s true. 

“What happened, though? No one knows why you two broke up.”

A loud sigh emerges from her throat, “That’s a very long story, and I’d very much rather not talk about it.”

Edward purses his lips for a moment, “Of course. But why did you fight? And when did it even happen? I thought you were at the academy before you got sick?” 

“That too, is a very long story and it’s not even worth talking about.” She takes another sip of her tea, and then claps her hands once. A cigarette appears between her fingers and she quickly lights it. Zelda knows Edward hates it when she smokes, but right now, she can’t care less about that. 

“Then what do you want to talk about?” He asks, watching her closely, without ever letting his eyes drift down to the cigarette. 

Head snapping up, Edward finally has Zelda’s full attention.  
“Tracking spells.” She says simply. 

“What?”

“Do you know any?”

Edward frowns, struggeling to find a response to that, “Yes, of course, but...”

“Excellent!” Zelda smiles, before taking one last drag of her cigarette and drinking the last remaining drops of her tea. She stands up from her chair and continues: “We’ll do it tomorrow.”

His lips part in surpise as he watches her straighten her spine, “Do what?”

“Why, locate Lilith, of course.” She says matter of factly. 

“Sorry what?” He half laughs, but then notices that her expression is entirely serious. “Why would you want to do that?”

“I need to talk to her.”

Edward shakes his head and sets his jaw as his lips turn into a thin line.  
“You’re too sick to go to wherever she is right now. She could be on the otherside of the world!”

Zelda raises her shoulders at him, and smiles, “Fine, if you won’t help me, I’ll do it myself.”

Edward runs a hand through his hair in annoyance, before looking up at her, “Are you trying to manipulate me or something?”

“Is it working?” She asks, her eyes bright and full of hope, though her expression is challenging. 

Staring at her for a few seconds longer, he finally sighs and points a finger at her, “You’re not going if she turns out to be on the other side of the world!”

A high pitched shriek fills the air, and Zelda quickly walks over to him, pulling her brother into her arms.  
“Thank you!” She smiles happily, and it’s the first time Edward has seen her so excited about something. It makes his heart flutter a little, if he’s being honest.  
Damn her. 

“But,” he says abruptly, pulling back from her embrace a little so he can look her in the eye, “We are going to do this my way, and you will listen to me at all times! If Lilith turns out to be too far away, we are not going after her! Do you understand?”

After pouting her lips a few seconds, she exhales deeply and then nods her head in agreement, “Alright.”

“Good. Maybe when you’ve completely recovered, then you can go see her. But, right now, you’re in no condition to travel far. And you definitely can’t teleport anywhere.”

Zelda rolls her eyes, standing up straight again with a huff, “Whatever you say, brother.” Little does he know, she’s been teleporting herself in and out of the house for the last two weeks. Sitting at home all day without doing anything would drive her nuts. She never went far, of course, but far enough to breathe some fresh air and clear her troubled mind. 

Suddenly, her head starts spinning. For a moment, she had forgotten about the pain in her chest and the way her body is still very weak. 

Edward seems to know that she’s no longer feeling well. He stands up and wraps his arms around her, quickly lifting her up and carrying her up the staires. Normally, she would protest on being carried like a child, but right now she just can’t be bothered. She feels dizzy, and her body is hurting more than ever. It’s so bad, that she barely notices how Edward tugs her back into bed and presses a soft kiss against her temple, before he sits down in the armchair in the corner of the room. He stays there all night, and seeing his figure through blurry eyes, comforts Zelda. 

That night, she no longer dreams of Faustus, but of Lilith. 

***

Australia is nice. 

At least, if she isn’t thinking about all those weird animals that live there. And for some reason, fairy bread seems to be a sensitive topic as well. Apparently, no one wants to hear that it’s just a slice of bread with butter and sprinkles on it, and not a dessert. 

Lilith has been staying in Melbourne. She has rented a room and spent her days at the zoo, nicking anything and everything from unsuspecting tourists. Once in a while, she runs into a witch or warlock, and when she does, she brings them back to her hotelroom and has her fun with them. Though, none of them seem to be able to get her mind off of Zelda. 

Lilith can’t deny the fact that she misses Zelda, but there is no way in hell she is gonna go back to her. For once, she is not going to make the first move. Maybe it is her pride that’s stopping her or her damaged heart, she just can’t be sure. Normally, she would feel guilty about sleeping with someone else, but after their last encounter, she simply stopped caring as much as she used to.  
Zelda had made it perfectly clear that she didn’t want her anymore, so she might as well try to move on. Even if she isn’t really managing to do so. 

Tonight, Lilith has picked up a beautiful brunette from a bar. Naomi, is her name. Apart from her straight, brown hair, she looks a lot like Zelda. Bright, green eyes, a pointy yet cute nose, soft freckles over her cheeks, ivory skin and some very nice teeth. Her curves aren’t quite as nice as Zelda’s, but they are still gorgeous nonetheless. 

They drank more whiskeys than either one of them could count and danced to every song they knew in between drinks. Of course, they had gotten quite some confused looks thrown their way, but they were too tipsy to care. It’s like they have known each other for years, when in reality they only knew each other for a few hours. 

Now, they are at Lilith’s hotelroom. Their bodies are pressed together and so are their lips, as they stumble over to the bed. Falling down on top of it, Naomi pulls at Lilith’s dress, one hand tangling in her dark curls. Lilith busies herself with getting Naomi out of her black leather jacket. Naomi is straddling her when Lilith finally succeeds in freeing her from the jacket, and it’s only then that Lilith notices the dress she’s wearing underneath it.  
It’s a tight red dress, with a v-cut at the front and lace around the edges.  
It barely covers Naomi’s bum. 

For a moment, Lilith becomes nostalgic as she stares at the dress. She suddenly feels sober again. 

Naomi gives her a confused look and sees how Lilith’s mind seems to have wandered off. 

“Are you okay?” Naomi asks, and Lilith’s eyes snap back up at her. She looks a bit dazed. 

Shaking her head as if to regain her focus, she answers: “Yeah, of course.” She adds a small smile, but it doesn’t look convincing to say the least. 

Naomi raises her eyebrows and narrows her eyes, “I know we just met, but I don’t think you are.”

Chuckling, Lilith tries to smile at her, but Naomi keeps on glaring at her and she just can’t keep her mask on any longer.  
“That dress.” she sighs simply. 

Looking down at the red fabric, Naomi’s frown deepens, before she looks up again.  
“What about it?”

Lilith shrugs, “My ex had one just like that.” she confesses. Calling Zelda her ex seems strange. It isn’t right, and it is the first time she has called her that. Though, it is the truth. They had broken up ages ago, so Zelda is her ex, but she just doesn’t feel like it. Somehow, it has never felt like they were truly done. Not even when they didn’t see each other for weeks. There was always a piece of Lilith’s heart that kept holding on to what they had. Maybe, finally being able to call Zelda her ex is a sign that the piece of her heart, is finally letting go. It isn’t a pleasant feeling. She doesn’t want to let go. 

“Oh...” Naomi swallows, “Do you want to talk about her?”

She shakes her head a little, “No, it’s fine. I’m over her.” Now, that was a lie even Lilith herself did not buy. 

“If you’re over someone, something as simple as a dress doesn’t bother you.” Naomi states as she gives her a knowing look and Lilith hates the fact that she is right. She then slides off of Lilith’s lap and settles herself against the headbord. “What happened between the two of you?” 

Lilith snorts fondly at her, “Why do you even care? We don’t know each other.”

Naomi simply raises her shoulders, “I don’t know. I’m a bit drunk and I like you.” she sits up a little straighter, “So, what happened?”

Eyeing Naomi one last time, Lilith takes a deep breath and stares out in front of her. “We met when we were 16. Her name is Zelda. We shared a few classes and went to the same academy. The Academy of Unseen Arts in Greendale.” 

And so she starts telling everything that happened between them. All the good things, and especially the bad things. Naomi sits back and listens carefully, never judging or interrupting Lilith’s story, which she is very gratefull for. Eventhough they’re nearly strangers, Lilith finds it easy to open up to her. She is the first person that actually ever took the time to let her speak, and to listen, without delivering unnecessary comments. Lilith is fairy certain that after tonight she won’t see her ever again, and somehow, that makes it easier. 

“After we resurrected her, she got sick and I tried to take care of her as much as I could. Everything was going great between us and I really thought I still had a chance. But then, something changed. I don’t know exactly what happened, but she got mad and she send me away. So I came here, and I don’t think she wants me anymore.”

“Why would you think that?” Naomi asks, raising one eyebrow at her. 

“Well, I mean, she started shouting that I had to leave her and that she didn’t need me.”

“And when again did she say that?”

Lilith thinks for a moment, “After I told her I forgave her.”

Naomi licks her lips, lifting her shoulders a little, “Maybe she just hasn’t forgiven herself yet.” When that particular statement only makes a questioning look appear on Lilith’s face, she adds: “How can she accept the fact that you’re able to forgive her, when she herself can’t even manage to do that. I’d get mad because of that too.”

Lilith tilts her head. She had never looked at it that way, though she had never really tried to understand why Zelda had acted the way she did. Had she just been mad at herself? 

“I guess you could be right.” Lilith admits, and then a question pops up in her mind: “But, would that mean that I still have a chance to get her back?”

Naomi raises her hands, “I don’t know, dude. If I were you, I’d give her some time and I’d wait for her to reach out first.”

Nodding her head in agreement, a hopefull smile forms on Lilith’s lips, “Thank you.” She whispers gratefully, and Naomi reaches out to squeeze her hand in return. 

Maybe, there is still hope. She’d just have to be patient. 

***

“Are you ready?” 

Zelda nods her head anxiously, not really sure how she feels about all of this. If Lilith is too far away, Edward won’t ever let her go and maybe she’ll never get the chance to make it up to her. But on the other hand, if she’s able to go see her, what then? What will she do once she’s standing in front of Lilith again? She murdered her parents, for Satan’s sake. How will they ever be able to go back to the way things were between them? Before Zelda had freaked out at her, Lilith had seemed very certain that they could get back together and that everything would be fine. She’d said that she forgave her for everything, but how the hell could that be true? 

The sound of Edward’s voice uttering a Latin spell pulls Zelda out of her thoughts. His voice is loud, clear and demanding.  
In front of them, a large map is placed down on the table. After Zelda repeats the same phrases Edward had used, he snaps his fingers and Zelda does too. After a few seconds, the four corners of the map start burning. Slowly, the flames start trailing towards the middle of the paper, and soon nearly the entire map is burning.  
Except for one small spot in Australia, where just a small red circle forms. 

Melbourne. 

Lilith is in sodding Melbourne, close to Melbourne Zoo. Could that infernal woman be any further away from her? 

Nodding his head and biting his lip, Edward stares down at the map with an expressionless face. 

“Right.” he finally says, “You’re not going there.” 

Zelda hadn’t expected anything else. 

“Edward...” she pleads, but of course, he’s hearing none of it. 

“No, Zee. There is no way you’re going there. Not right now, at least. You haven’t fully recovered yet.” He doesn’t even raise his voice at her, but he doesn’t have to. Zelda knows that he has quite made up his mind. 

Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, Zelda tries again, “What if I go by plane? I’ll be fine that way.”

“No, we had a deal. You weren’t going if I told you so, and I am telling you: You are not going.”

With that, Edward turns on his heel and leaves his sister’s bedroom without another word. 

Eyeing the burned map another time, a deep sigh emerges from Zelda’s throat.  
Stroking a hand through her hair, she wonders when the next plane to Australia leaves, and if there’s some room left for her on it. 

***

Turned out, the next airplane left in 3 hours, so Zelda quickly packed a small suitcase with essential things only, told Hilda where she was going and that she couldn’t tell Edward. Of course, Zelda knew that her brother would find out that she was gone sooner or later, but by then she’d already be in the sky and on her way to the land down under.

Naturally, Hilda hadn’t let her leave without protest. She’d tried to talk her out of it, making up scenario’s about what would happen if Edward found out she had left without his permission, and that travelling wasn’t going to do her medical condition any good, and how maybe Lilith needed a little more time to proces everything, and so on and so on. Zelda knew that her sister’s statements were right, but Hilda also knew that once Zelda had set her mind on something, there was no stopping her. 

So after failing in convincing her to stay, she had packed her some potions, herbs and teas that she had to take on a daily base, and kissed her goodbye. Though, she had insisted on personally teleporting her to the airport and she hadn’t let her leave before Zelda had promised to call her from the moment she’d landed, and to keep her up to date once she’d seen Lilith. 

All of it made Zelda regret involving her nosy sister into this yet again. 

At last, she has boarded the plane without any furter troubles.  
Knowing that she’ll be stuck on this damn thing for nearly 20 hours, Zelda sighs and tries to find the most comfortable position. Her seat isn’t the best, but she’s lucky there had still been room on the plane, so she doesn’t complain. Next to her, an old man- who smells like beef- has already closed his eyes and is snoring soundly, a little drool falling down from the corner of his mouth. He has grey, ruffled hair and a wide nose. His cheeks are red and he has a big brown stain on his white shirt that she doesn’t really want to know the origin of. 

Zelda grimaces and moves as far away from his as possible. 

On her right, a middle aged woman seems to be eyeing her carefully over the brim of her sunglasses. Even when Zelda meets the woman’s eyes, she doesn’t look away. She keeps on staring at her, and not knowing what else to do, Zelda offers her a polite smile. The woman frowns, pushes her glasses a bit further up her nose with her finger and flicks her blonde curls at her, finally averting her eyes. Her hair looks like it had been bleached 10 times to become as pale as it is. It really looks rather terrible, but Zelda doesn’t mention it, too happy that the woman- who looks like a bad version of Marilyn Monroe-finally turned her attention away from her. 

Zelda takes a small plastic bottle out of her pocket, a potion Hilda had made for her chest pain, and takes a small sip of it.  
Edward might have been right when he said that it was not a good idea for her to travel in her current state. She feels far from good, and the way her body hurts and her heart aches, seem to be getting more unbearable with every passing day.  
It’s starting to become too much. It’s taking away every last bit of her sanity, and it’s an awful feeling. Sometimes, it’s like she’s going crazy. 

She just hopes that seeing Lilith and talking to her, will make her feel better. 

Feeling a bit chilly, Zelda wraps the blanket, that one of the flight attendants had given her a few moments earlier, a bit tighter around her, and copies the man next to her. She closes her eyes, and the stinky smell of the old chap is the last thing she’s aware of before she drifts off. 

Twenty hours later, Zelda is finally able to get off the plane. She had spend most of the flight sleeping, and the man next to her had even tried to start a conversation with her a few times when she was awake. Zelda hadn’t quite caught his name, but she didn’t care. She’d wanted to curse the man more than once for not getting that the tired look on her face was a hint that she wasn’t looking for human interaction at all. The woman, on the other hand, had been throwing her dirty looks until they hit the ground again. It had taken all of Zelda’s selfcontrole to not put a hex on that damn mortal. 

But now, she is finally able to breathe some air again, without having to deal with annoying people. 

The first thing she does when she leaves the airport, is go to the nearest cafe, order a large coffee to go and light a cigarette.  
She had planned to teleport to her hotel, but now that she is finally able to stretch her legs, she decides to walk instead. It’s a three hour walk, but she feels like she’s up to it. If she gets tired, she can still teleport. 

Suitcase in one hand and coffee and cigarette in the other, she takes her time and walks at an easy pace.  
Her mind does what it has been doing for months now: it wanders off to Lilith. 

She still has no real plan on what she is going to do. As a matter of fact, she doesn’t even know where Lilith is exactly. There is a spell, of course, to determine where she is, but what then? What is she going to say? Zelda really doesn’t know and she tries not to think about it, but that’s a hard task. She fears that once they’re in front of each other, she’s just going to mess everything up once again. 

Time seems to fly by, and all too soon, Zelda arrives at the hotel she’ll be staying. She quickly checks into her room, and drops her stuff onto the bed. Though, she had slept rather a lot during her flight, she feels exhausted. That walk had really worn her off. Somehow, she seemed to have forgotten that she still hadn’t recovered properly. 

Zelda decides that a short nap won’t do any harm, so she pushes her suitcase off the bed, and after taking off her shoes, she crawles under the covers.  
After all, there would be no use in trying to talk to Lilith if she is too tired to think properly. 

***

The ‘short nap’ turns out to last for 10 hours straight.  
It had still been morning when Zelda had closed her eyes, and now when she opens them, it’s already evening. 

Slowly, her eyes flutter and it takes her a few minutes before she actually finds the energy to get up out of bed. Her body is aching from the lack of medication, so Zelda strolls over to her coat, and takes out the potions Hilda had given her. After taking them, she feels slightly better, but she knows it needs a little time to start working properly. 

After just mindlessly standing in her room for a few moments, Zelda opens her suitcase and after searching through endless layers of clothing, she finds the map she had snitched from one of Edward’s atlases. He’ll be furious once he finds out she had heartlessly ripped the page out of his precious book, but she really has worse concerns right now. 

She places the map of Melbourne onto her bedside table, and starts uttering the same spell Edward and her had used earlier. After snapping her fingers, the edges of the paper start burning and move towards a small spot where they stop. A small red circle appears near the Melbourne Zoo, but Zelda already knew that from the previous tracking spell. The circle is drawn around a hotel, which means that Lilith is there right now. It isn’t even that far away from Zelda’s hotel. Maybe 20 minutes, if she walks. 

Zelda looks at the watch on her wrist.  
It’s 8 o’ clock. Lilith rarely goes to bed early, which gives her time enough to get to the hotel. She quickly fetches her coat, the key to her room and slips back into her shoes. Hand on the door knob, Zelda’s stomach starts to make ungodly noises, and she realises that she hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast at the Spellman’s house. Well, she’d taken a few bites from some sort of muffin during her flight, but it tasted horrendous, so she hadn’t eaten much of it. 

She wants to ignoring her growling tummy, but she can’t deny that she is rather hungry. That’s why she decides to make a quick stop at the hotel’s restaurant. 

As soon as she enters the restaurant, a billion different kinds of smells reach her nose, and they all smell equally delicious. 

Sitting down at the nearest table, Zelda has a hard time choosing from the menu, but she eventually settles for chicken parm. A lot of other dishes catch her eye, but she figures that she’ll probably have enough time to try all of them at some point.  
It’s only after taking her first bite, that Zelda realises how utterly famished she had been. It takes her just a few minutes to clear her plate completely. As she glances at her watch, she sees that it’s a quarter to 9 by now. She could easily eat some more, but she wants to get to Lilith as soon as possible. 

So she pays her food, tips the waiter well and takes her leave. Deciding that she had walked enough for the day, Zelda teleports to Lilith’s hotel. As she stands in front of the building, she feels slightly dizzy, so she leans her back against the wall. 

Her head is spinning and she’s seeing black spots in front of her eyes. Chest hurting more than ever, her hearing starts to become bad as well. This isn’t the time for her body to shut down. Not now. Not after coming this far. She really does not want to give in to her aching body, but she can feel her legs starting to tremble, becoming more weak with every passing second. Sweat is covering her back already, when she vaguely feels something touching both of her arms. Like someone is squeezing them. Her vision is too blurry to see who or what it is. 

Zelda hears a voice, but it sounds like it is a billion miles away from her. She can feel herself slide down the wall, and her bum touches the cold ground beneath her. But, she isn’t falling. Someone is guiding her, though she isn’t really aware of it. A part of her knows that someone is with her, but said part choses to ignore tat particular fact and not tell Zelda about it. 

That’s when she can feel herself fade away slowly, and she doesn’t even realise how her mind is slipping into darkness.

***

It’s like she had been zoned out for hours when Zelda opens her eyes again. She isn’t sitting on the cold, hard ground anymore, but laying in a soft warm bed. She still feels a bit lightheaded, but the pain in her chest is almost entirely gone, which is very strange. It has never just gone away, not even with Hilda’s potions. Her lashes flutter a few times, before her gaze focusses on something in front of her. Or more specifically, a someone. A person with gigantic brown curls, thin red painted lips, outstanding bone structures in her face, and big blue, piercing eyes. 

“Lilith?” Zelda gasps, unable to hide the obvious shock in her voice. 

A small smile forms on her lips, “I’m glad to see you too, thank you very much.” Lilith is sitting on the right side of the kingsized bed, her legs crossed. She’s wearing a skirt, and even with a dazed mind, Zelda has to stop herself from looking up it. 

Zelda’s eyes only grow wider as she realises that she’s actually in front of Lilith right now. She’s in her hotelroom and every scenario she had made up in her head of how seeing her again could possibly go, is now ruined. 

She lets her gaze drift off, scanning Lilith’s outfit for a moment. “Are you going out?” she asks as she continues to inspect her clothes. Lilith’s black skirt is matched with silver earrings, bracelet, necklace and a blue croptop. The colour really makes her eyes pop. It’s a beautiful outfit, but not something that Lilith would wear on a casual evening. 

“I was, until you decided to take a little tumble outside on the street. You’re lucky it was me who found you.” She gets up from the bed in one elegant move, and strolls over to a small table next to the bed on her side. Taking a glass of water from it, she climbs onto the bed again and offers it to Zelda. 

“I don’t know why that happened.” Zelda says honestly. She’d felt great only moments before everything started to blur. Maybe it’s because she had teleported and had still been pretty tired. “Thank you for bringing me here.” she quickly adds. 

Lilith nods her head in acceptance as she watches Zelda take a sip of water. When she swallows the liquid, it’s like she can feel life seep back into her body. 

“Though I must say, I was quite surprised -to say the least- when I saw you outside of the hotel. And especially, when I saw in what condition you were.”

Zelda grimaces, a guilty look on her face, but she doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t know what she is supposed to say. 

Lilith seems to notice, and so she starts talking again. 

“Why are you here, Zee?” she asks, her voice soft and patient. Zelda only now realises how she had missed that. Someone who asked her questions, but never pushed her for answers. Lilith almost never asked the same question twice, instead she waited for Zelda to start about the topic again. Just so she wouldn’t push her. 

Breathing in deeply, Zelda raises her shoulders, cupping the glass of water with her hands, “I missed you.” she states, “I needed to talk to you. I needed to see you.”

“You came all the way to Australia for me?” Lilith chuckles, like she can’t believe she would actually do that. 

Simply nodding her head, Zelda answers, “I did.” Lilith blinks at her in obvious confusion, and Zelda only smiles, “I always come back to you.” For a moment her eyes turn sorrowfull, but her smile never falters, “I just hope that this time, you still want me to come back.”

Lilith returns her smile, but she looks sad, “I never wanted you to leave in the first place. But, this time it was me who left.”

“And I’m so sorry about that. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did, I just-“

“Hush.” Lilith presses her index finger against Zelda’s lips for a moment, “There is no use in regretting what happened. It happened, and we can’t change it anymore.” She removes her finger and leans back. 

“But, I need to tell you that I am so, so sorry about everything I said. I didn’t mean it. None of it, you have to believe me.” 

A soft sigh escapes Lilith’s lips, “Zelda, don’t go there. Please...”

“I said I didn’t need you, but I do. I don’t like to admit it, but I do. My life is so empty without you. You don’t know how much I’ve missed you these past few weeks, and I am just so sorry about everything.” Her green eyes look wet, and she tilts her head a bit while blinking rapidly, in order to keep them at bay. “I guess I just really, really love you.” she chuckles dryly, like laughing is the only thing that can stop her from crying. 

Lilith can’t remember the last time she had seen Zelda be so open and honest about her feelings. Though, it is something that she likes very much. 

“I know.” she whispers, “But, you and I both know that we can’t go back to how we used to be.” taking a deep gulp of air, she averts her eyes, “There has always been a secret between us. Always. From the moment our friendship started, you have been keeping things from me. It’s the only way I’ve ever known us.”

Zelda nods her head, “And I apologise for that. There is no excuse for everything I did to you, and if you don’t want me back, I’ll accept it. I know I could never forgive someone the things I did to you.”

“And that’s the problem. Because, I am able to forgive you, but you can’t forgive yourself.”

Zelda blinks at her, feeling a little stunned as her lips part in surpise, “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean that if you keep living in the past, keep hating yourself for what you had to do, there is no way we’re going to be able to move forward.” Noticing that Zelda is slightly taken aback, Lilith reaches out and takes hold of her hand, “I don’t want to look at your face and see so much guilt there.” A thic tear clouds in front of Zelda’s eye, and a mere second later, it rolls down her cheek. Lilith is quick to wipe it away, “I want to see you smile, a real smile. I want to hear you laugh, without having to worry about wheter it’s a genuine one or not.”

Zelda can’t help, but let more tears come crashing down, and Lilith tries her best to get rid of them, but Zelda stills her hand and takes it into her own. Sometimes, it scares her. It scares her how Lilith is always taking care of her, always trying to understand and to help her. Not that anyone knows about that. But Lilith can feel and love so intentsly, that is scares her. Zelda is afraid she’ll never be able to be like that for her as well.  
“But, I hurt you. How can I smile when I hurt you?” Zelda’s voice breaks, and she swallows as her chin trembles. 

“Because, you make me happy. No one has ever been able to make me feel the things you do. Not even my parents.” 

Licking her lips, Zelda sobs loudly at the mention of Lilith’s parents, “I’m so sorry. I really am.”

Lilith leans forward and presses their foreheads together, tightening her grips on her hands. “I know, and I forgive you for everything. I just need you to do the same, I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll wait for you.”

Their noses brush, and Zelda longs to feel Lilith’s lips pressed against her own. But Lilith is right. She has to forgive herself first. So instead, Zelda removes one of her hands from Lilith’s grip, and brushes it through her thic brown curls. Slowly, her hand trails down and sweeps over her face. Zelda wants to stay like this forever. 

“I love you, Lilith.” she utters softly, like she’s afraid someone else might hear it, eventhough they’re alone in the room. She is so sick and tired of hiding her love for Lilith away, but it’s still new to her to be open about it. It’s new, but if Lilith will give her the chance, she’d like to make a habit out of it. 

Not being able to kiss them, Zelda settles for running her thumb across Lilith’s lips. They feel soft beneath her skin, and it makes the longing only grow. She remembers the last time she had kissed them. It had been right before she drank the poison that would kill her. It had been a goodbye, and her lips had felt so desperate against her own. 

“Likewise, my dear.” Lilith replies, and it feels like she’s holding back a little. As if she’s afraid that something might happen between them again and she’s too scared to fully give herself again already. Zelda can’t blame her, though. Somehow, she feels the same way, but she knows that now is not the time to hold back. Not for Zelda, at least. She is going to do anything it takes to get Lilith back, and if that means getting hurt while trying, so be it. They had both spend too much time being afraid getting hurt, and look where it brought them. She isn’t going to make that same mistake twice. 

After a few moments, Lilith pulls back, and Zelda instantly misses the contact. She wants to tell her to come back, but it’s probably best if they don’t. They wouldn’t be able to part again. 

“Maybe, we should hang out some time?” Lilith suggests. “I’m sure a lot happened in both of our lives during our breakup. Surely, we must have a lot to talk about.”

Wiping at her cheeks, Zelda nods her head eagerly, feeling more than excited about the fact that Lilith wants to spend time with her, “Yeah, I’d like that. I saw a nice coffee shop on the way to my hotel, we could meet up there?” 

Lilith smiles at her, she does love coffee, “Why not? Should I come over so we can go there together?” 

Nodding in agreement, she answers: “Sure, I’m staying at the Mercure North hotel, room 234.”

“Great, I’ll pick you up at noon.”

***

Neither Lilith or Zelda are able to sleep that night, both tossing and turning in their beds, and overthinking everything that had happened. Their eyes are tired, but for some reason neither one of them succeed in actually closing them, as their thoughts keep slipping back to each other. 

After making their plans for the day after, Lilith had insisted on teleporting Zelda to her room. She didn’t want to risk her blackin out again with no one around to take care of her. When she was sure Zelda was okay, Lilith had left her there, alone in her hotelroom. The fact that she couldn’t stay with her, made her heart sting a little. But it was for the better. 

Now, Lilith is standing in front of her closet, thinking about which outfit would be best for the day. After all, they are just going to get a coffee. It’s not like they are going on a date or anything. Or is it a date? Lilith isn’t sure, but she decides not to think too much about it. Instead she picks a pair of black skinny jeans and a white, loose-fitting blouse. She matches her outfit with a pair of black heels, her favorite pair of earrings and dark red lipstick. 

After taking a good look at herself in the mirror, she puts on her coat and takes her purse. She teleports right into Zelda’s hotelroom and is greeted with a very pleasant sight. 

Zelda is bending over, her bum pointed towards Lilith, and rolling her thight up her leg. She isn’t wearing anything apart from a pair of red, lacy knickers and a matching bra. Lilith really wants to turn her eyes away from her, she really does. But, it just seems like an impossible task and her eyes seem glued to the skin on display. So she settles for akwardly clearing her throat, which makes Zelda jump up in surprise and straighten her spine. She turns around and stares at Lilith with wide eyes and an open mouth, before she breathes a sigh of relief. 

“I didn’t hear you.” she smiles to herself, before finishing pulling up her nylons, and clipping them to her garter belt. 

“I guess I got here a little soon.” Lilith confesses, trying her hardest not to let her eyes start wandering off and stare at Zelda’s beautiful long legs. 

Zelda takes a dark blue dress out of her suitcase and quickly puts it on, feeling Lilith’s eyes burning on her skin.  
After putting on a pair of heels and a coat and fluffing her hair a bit, she smiles at Lilith while holding out a hand. 

“Shall we?” she asks, her face glowing with excitement. Lilith can’t help but take her hand. 

They leave the building, never letting go of each other’s hand. Even when an old lady throws them very dirty looks, their grip just tightens, and Zelda moves a few inches closer to her. 

Walking to the coffee shop in a comfortable silence, both women enjoy the feeling of being close to one another. It takes them about fifteen minutes to reach their destination, and when they do, Lilith holds open the door for Zelda. It’s only then that their hands let go. 

Zelda throws her a shy smile in thanks and steps inside. A pleasant warmth falls upon both girls and they settle themselves in the corner of the cafe near the window. After they order, Lilith spends a few moments admiring the view in front of her: Zelda. 

She’s looking out of the window, watching people walk and cars speed by. Lilith lets her eyes move over her side profile. Her nose is so terribly cute. The top of it is a small bump and it has ever so light freckles covering it. Her jaw seems very relaxed and her eyes are moving from left to right as she watches the always moving street. 

Lilith’s thoughts are broken when the waitress places their order in front of them. A cappuccino and a grilled ham ‘n cheese sandwich for Zelda, and a black coffee along with a sausage roll for Lilith. They eat and drink in silence, and it’s only then that Lilith realises that they haven’t actually talked to each other yet. 

Not that it bothers her. It isn’t an akward silence, but she decides to break it anyway, “So how have you been?”

Zelda looks up, her cheeks stuffed with toast. She munches her food at a quickened pace and swallows, “Alright, I think. How about you?” 

Lilith frowns and takes a sip of her coffee, before she asks: “You think? You can be honest, darling.”

Fumbling with the piece of sandwich in her hand, Zelda licks her lips, “My health went a little down after I made you leave.” she stirs her drink for a few seconds and then adds, “But, Hilda made potions for everything so I can’t complain, honestly.” she adds a bright grin, but Lilith isn’t buying any of it. Zelda is in constant pain, and it’s tiring her, she can tell. 

Staring at her intently, Lilith takes a bite of her sausage roll. She doesn’t even know why she ordered it, she hates sausages.  
“Those potions aren’t going to help you forever, you should see a doctor.”

A dry laugh escapes from Zelda’s throat, “And tell him what? That I got resurrected after drinking a glass of cyanide, on purpose, might I add, then you used Faustus as a sacrifice, and since then my body has been feeling a little weird.”

Lilith rolls her eyes fondly, Zelda had always liked to make things more dramatic than they were, “I just want you to get better. It would be rather inconvenient if something happened to you.”

A sickening sweet smile creeps on Zelda’s face, “You’re so cute when you’re worried about me.”

“Only then?” Lilith blinks at her innocently, a fake pout forming on her lips. 

“You’re always cute.” Zelda corrects herself, making Lilith grin at her. “Now answer my question, how have you been?

Lilith shrugs, “I keep myself busy.” She takes another bite of her food and makes a face of disgust. 

“Oh yeah? By doing what? By spending money on food you don’t like?” Zelda mocks her. 

“Funny.” Lilith fake smiles at her with narrowed eyes, before throwing the roll onto Zelda’s empty plate. She had finished that sandwich in the blink of an eye. 

“Free food!” Zelda nearly shrieks in happiness as she takes the roll into her hands and takes a large bite out of it. “Seriously though, what have you been doing all this time?” she asks, her mouth still full of sausage. Honestly, the woman has no manners. At least, if you know her. If she’s still a bit wary around you, she’ll put on her best behavior, but don’t let it fool you. Behind all those fancy words hides a red headed pig. 

“Robbing stupid tourists at the zoo by day, partying by night.” 

Zelda lowers her eyebrows at her, “Robbing tourists? Honestly, Lilith?”

Raising her shoulders before drinking some more coffee, Lilith defends herself, “It’s not like I’ve got something better to do.”

“So you prey on unexpecting tourists? I can’t leave you unsupervised for two minutes, can I?” Zelda asks her, trying to sound serious, but the spark in her eyes tells Lilith otherwise. 

“If they are too dumb to notice that they’re being robbed, they deserve it. Natural selection, one might call it.” 

Zelda chuckles, “Call it whatever you want, but you’re just a filthy thief.”

Entirely unbothered, Lilith grins at her, “The last time you called me that was when I stole your heart.” 

Now, Zelda is properly laughing, and Lilith had missed the sound of it so much. She can’t help but join her laughter.  
“You are awful!” she giggles, pointing the remaining piece of sausage roll in her hand at Lilith, before putting it in her mouth. 

“I know.” Lilith simply answers, suddenly feeling insanely smug. She then throws a menu at Zelda, “Pick a dessert. My treat.”

Trying to catch her breath, Zelda gapes at her, “I’m stuffed!” 

“Lies!” she says without looking up from the menu she’s holding. 

When the waitress comes to their table, Zelda insists on not wanting anything, but Lilith still orders two slices of cheesecake, which Zelda ends up being very pleased about. She just won’t admit it. 

They end up stealing pieces from each other’s slice, eventhough they have the exact same one on their own plate. It just tastes better when it’s stolen, probably because the secret ingredient is crime.  
Between bites, Lilith tells Zelda stories of everything that happened to her at the zoo. Like that time a little boy ran into her, which made her trip and nearly fall flat onto her face. As revenge, she took his stupid, red balloon and stamped on it right in front of him.  
Or that time she started barking at the lions and it made them go insane. 

Zelda doesn’t say much about the time she had spend without Lilith. Mostly, because it hadn’t been a pleasant time and also, because she just likes to listen to Lilith. The way she tells a story is amazing to hear. She has laughed more in these few hours than she had in the last month.

Lilith had always had that effect on her: to be able to make her happy when no one else could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Google thinks I’m planning a trip to Melbourne right now bc I did so much research on Australia. And in the end I only used like 2% of the information I found. 
> 
> BUT YEAH GET READY FOR THE FINAL PART DARLINGS ❤️


	12. Baby, I was afraid before, but I'm not afraid anymore Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You think I’m crying bc this is the last part that I’m ever gonna post of this fic?????? Whaatt???? 
> 
> Yeh you’re absolutely right

At the end of their coffe date, they decide that they should only see each other once a day. They had gone a long time on their own, and breaking that habbit from one moment to another wasn’t a good idea. So the next day, they meet up at Lilith’s hotelroom to watch a movie. Zelda has brought enough popcorn and chocolate snacks to feed an entire army, and Lilith bought more alcohol than they could drink without poisoning themselves. 

After turning on the television, they snuggle up next to each other on the hotel’s small, but cozy couch and decide to watch “The 13 Ghosts”. How could two witches possibly ignore a movie that had 13 in the title? 

_“Brace yourself, as we take you across the threshold of our haunted mansion, where there is a ghost for everyone in the family...” _

The movie hasn’t been playing for more than a few minutes and they have already lost focus by throwing popcorn into each other’s mouth and keeping scores. After Lilith throws one down Zelda’s throat and she nearly chokes, they decide that it might not be the best game to play. 

_ “You’ll be scared stiff too when you see what they see: 13 ghosts!” _

Then they settle for experimenting with their bottles, the movie that’s still playing in the background already forgotten. Turns out red wine mixed with whiskey and rum, is not a good combination to say the least. As a matter of fact, it’s so bad that they don’t even try to make another mishmash of different alcoholic beverages after that. 

_ “... the ghost who speaks through the lips of the living...” _

Then, Zelda goes to stand behind the couch, and starts braiding Lilith’s hair, ignoring her groans of protest like she doesn’t even hear them. She had always liked to play with her hair. There is nothing better than to feel those soft locks between her fingers. 

In the end, Lilith actually seems quite happy with the finished product. Zelda had made two Dutch braids, and her natural hair texture makes them look really well. 

Lilith throws her a small smile and puts her hand mirror down, “I guess it doesn’t look atrocious.”

  
  


Zelda takes it as a compliment. 

  
  
  


***

  
  


“Please?” Lilith asks once again, putting on her most irresistible face, and pouting her lip softly. 

“I’m not coming along on one of your robberies!” Zelda refuses yet another time, but Lilith notices the way she isn’t looking at her face. Probably, because Zelda knows that if she sees her face only for one second she’ll give in. 

“But, honey...” she pleads, touching Zelda’s arm softly, “It will be so much more fun with you.”

Crossing her arms and groaning loudly, Zelda says firmly: “No! There is no way in hell I’m going to mug some innocent people!”

  
  


Half an hour later, both witches find themselves standing in the middle of the zoo. Of course Zelda had ended up agreeing to come along, with the excuse of wanting to make sure that Lilith doesn’t get herself into trouble. Though, she knows better than to believe that statement for a single second. 

“What about her?” Zelda asks, nodding towards a woman standing by the ice cream truck. 

Lilith shakes her head, “No, women are hard to trick. Men are the easy ones.”

Raising an eyebrow at her, Zelda snorts, “You think I’m not up for a challenge?” 

“This is your first heist, we’ll start easy.”

Zelda huffs at her, before looking around once more, “And him?” Her eyes fall on some guy who’s staring at a gorilla. He looks about 25 and looks pretty cute, but also rather dumb. 

“Excellent choice, I’d say.”

The two eye each other for a moment, before stepping towards their unexpecting target. Zelda goes to stand next to the man and flutters her lashes at him. The young bloke turns his head and instantly a cocky grin spreads over his face. 

“Hi there, gorgeous.” he greets her, his eyes roaming over her body in a very obvious way as he inches closer to her. 

Lilith rolls her eyes as she stands behind him, ready to snatch away whatever it is he’s keeping in his back pocket. 

Zelda gives him a sly smile, “How ya goin’?” she asks, suddenly with a thic, Australian accent. 

“Fine, thank you.” the guy answers, finally looking at her face instead of at her boobs, “What’s a pretty girl like you doin’ all by herself? Because, honestly? You look fucking mint!” 

A fake giggle fills the air as Zelda covers her mouth with her hand for a few seconds. She doesn’t know what the hell ‘_mint_’ is supposed to mean, but she supposes it must be some sort of compliment in Australian slang. 

“I’m just waiting for my friend.”

He frowns at her for a moment, looking disappointed, “Friend as in boyfriend?”

Zelda looks down at the ground, her eyes turning sad, “I’m afraid he passed away a few weeks ago.” 

Lilith has to stop herself from laughing out loud. Zelda is saying it like poor Faustus died of natural causes. 

“I’m sorry to hear that. My name is

Darren.” he shakes her hand, a pitifull look on his face. 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Samantha.”

Trying to stop herself from laughing, Lilith steps closer to her prey without making a sound. Darren’s wallet is peaking out from his back pocket, and Lilith points at it. Zelda catches her motion and instantly closes the remaining space between her and the man. She stands as close to him as possible, and without thinking, he wraps his arms around her, looking at her with lust in his eyes. 

“But, you can call me Sam.”

Her hand trails down his waist, until it reaches his bottom. She flutters her lashes ar him once again, making her most innocent face at him. 

“I’ll call you whatever you like, baby.” Darren answers, toothy grin on display. 

Zelda lowers her hand, until her fingertips touch a leather fabric. 

“But I must tell you, Derek, I haven’t been... _intimate_ with anyone since my boyfriend died...” Of course, she mispronounces his name on purpose, but the fella seems too stunned to correct her mistake. 

Slowly, Zelda slips his wallet out of his pocket, making sure to brush her chest against his a little more than necessary. 

Once it’s out, she tosses it at Lilith, who catches it gracefully. 

Lilith throws her thumb up at her, and that’s when Zelda moves back from her victim. “... and I don’t think I’m ready for it yet.” 

Darren looks at her with wide eyes, staring at her in disbelief as his jaw drops, “But, I thought you and I-“

That’s when Lilith walks up to Zelda, putting an arm around her, “Sam, I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Lilith throws Darren a dirty look, his wallet tucked safely in her purse. “If you want to see the elephants before closing time, we’re gonna have to hurry up! Let’s go.”

Without waiting for a response, Lilith pulls Zelda along, and when they’re far enough, Zelda asks hopefully: “Is there enough in his wallet to get ice creams?”

“Enough to get the entire truck.” Lilith chuckles, waving a stack of bills at her and earning Zelda’s laughter in the process. Then Lilith’s face turns serious again, “But, Samantha? Honestly? You couldn’t pick a better name?”

Zelda groans, slapping Lilith’s arm away from her and taking the money from her hands, “Shut up.”

Still, she smiles fondly at Lilith. 

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


They decide to go grocery shopping with Darren’s money. Zelda had brought up the idea of baking a cake together. She had a small kitchen with an oven in her hotelroom, so it seemed like a good idea to her. A kitchen full of yummy smells, feeding each other batter, decorating a cake together and then finally eating the whole thing sounded rather appealing to Lilith, so she could do nothing else, but agree. 

At least, that’s how she though it would go. 

In reality, Lilith dropped their box of eggs, and only two out of the 6 they got, could be saved. They actually needed 5 to put in their cake, but they just couldn’t be bothered with going back to the store. 

So they put their remaining eggs in a bowl, together with some milk, butter, baking powder, a pinch of salt, sugar, vanilla extract and a lot of flower. Zelda, stupid as she is, had turned on the mixer before putting it in the bowl, making all the flour and milk spatter in their faces. 

After shouting at her about the proper way to use a mixer, Lilith took it from her and mixed all the ingredients by herself, Zelda watching her through narrowed eyes all the while. Once the batter was done, Lilith tried to feed Zelda some of it, but it didn’t taste good at all. So then it was Zelda’s turn to curse at Lilith. 

Then, they poured the batter into a baking pan and put it in the oven. They didn’t realise that they had in fact forgotton to grease the pan. 

While the cake was in the oven, they cleaned up the mess they had made. The kitchen was completely covered in flower and the broken eggs were still laying on the floor where Lilith had dropped them. 

“Marvelous.” Zelda had sighed, before starting to clean everything up. 

45 minutes later, their cake was done. It’s only when they tried to get it out of the pan in one piece, that they noticed they had forgotten to greasen it. Half of the cake came out in chunks and crumbs, and the other part was stuck in the tin. They groaned and spread some of their storebought frosting on the pieces that had come out. 

Now, they are sitting on Zelda’s bed, both of them with a plate of cake in their hands. “At least we didn’t burn it.” Lilith says, eyeing the piece with a suspicious look on her face. 

“This thing better be good.” Zelda pokes her fork in it and takes a large bite, Lilith copies her movement. They look at each other one last time, before chewing slowly. 

It only takes them both a second to spit it out again. 

“Yikes!”

“It tastes like the bloody pits of hell!” Lilith coughs, reaching for a glass of water. 

Zelda steals the glass from Lilith’s hands before she even has time to take a sip of it. Lilith yelps in protest as Zelda winks at her over the brin of the glass. After taking a large gulp, she gives it back. 

These last few days, Zelda has noticed how her feeling of guilt is starting to fade away along with the pain in her chest. Sometimes, she feels that same shame of what she had done all over again, but then Lilith smiles at her while squeezing her hand and Zelda knows that it’s okay. In those moments, it’s hard to even look at her. It’s like facing the last piece of evidence of the crime she had commited. It is a terrible feeling. A horrible one. But the way Lilith keeps reassuring her that it is alright, makes her feel better. Of course, Lilith had told her before, but Zelda now realises that she had never needed words. She had needed actions. It are the small things that tell her that Lilith still cares for her and that she isn’t mad. Just the way she smiles, or the way she caresses her cheek. The way she laughs at her stupid jokes and the way her hand always seems to be searching for hers. 

It makes Zelda feel loved. 

  
  


After drinking some water as well, Lilith confesses: “Eventhough this thing tastes like absolute crap, I still had a really good time with you today.” she adds a small smile. 

Nodding in agreement, Zelda grins at her, “You might not be the best chef, but you are great company.” 

  
  


It never mattered to either one of them what they were doing. The only thing that mattered to them was that they were together. 

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


Slowly, their rule of only seeing each other once a day started to fade. They were spending more time together than alone, and both of them were loving every minute of it. They explored the city together, because after all, they were in the beautiful Melbourne. Some nights, they just stayed awake and chatted all night long about the most random topics, they took late night strolls, ate dinner, watched sunsets and went to the theater. They even went bowling. 

They were truly having a blast in their little cocoon of happiness, until one day the phone rang...

  
  


Zelda quickly runs towards the small table by the door and answers the ringing phone, “Zelda Spellman speaking.” she introduces herself. 

“Zelds! Bloody hell, I’ve been trying to reach you for days!” Hilda’s panicked voice echoes through the phone. 

It’s only then that Zelda realises that she hasn’t been around her apartment much, and she has only called Hilda once to tell her about her situation. 

“I’m sorry, sister. I guess I have been busy lately.” Zelda apologises, hearing a muffled ‘I noticed’ coming from the other side of the line. “Why did you need me?” 

“Well, I just wanted to check in on you, but Edward finally realised that you’re gone and it has taken all of my power to stop him from teleporting to Australia to drag your arse back home!”

She strokes a hand over her face and sighs deeply, “Is he mad?” she dares to ask. 

“Mad?” Hilda laughs sarcastically, “He could drink your sodding blood!” 

That’s when Zelda hears a voice in the background, followed by sounds of protest coming from Hilda. Then she hears Edward’s voice coming through, “What in Satan’s name were you thinking?” he shouts, as if he wants to make sure that she can hear him properly. “I never thought that you’d do something so reckless and foolish!” she can hear Hilda trying to interfere, but Edward is having none of it, as he yells at her to shut up. 

“Leave Hilda out of this, Edward. She can’t help it.” Zelda tries to defend her little sister, but it seems to make him even more mad. 

“Can’t help it? She is the one who let you go through with all of this nonsense! You both betrayed my trust and lied to me!” 

“Hilda tried to help me!”

“By letting you break your promise to me? Because that’s what you did, Zelda. You broke your promise.” Now, he doesn’t sound mad anymore. He just sounds hurt. 

Zelda takes a deep breath, trying her best to remain calm, “I know. And I am sorry, but I had to do this.”

Edward stays silent for a while, so she continues, “This week, I’ve been feeling better than ever before. I stopped using Hilda’s potions and balms a few days ago, and I have been fine without them.”

“How is that possible?” he asks, sounding like he can’t believe that she’s telling the truth. 

“Lilith.” she simply answers. 

“Lilith?”

“I think I just missed her.” After she had come back from the dead, Lilith had been there. But, it had been like there was still standing something between them. There were still too many bottled up emotions. 

Now, Zelda felt like she was finally able to fully give herself to Lilith. And maybe, that was what her body had been needing this whole time. 

“Broken heart syndrome...” Edward utters more to himself than to Zelda. 

“What?” 

“Broken heart syndrome.” he repeats louder this time, “It’s happens amongst mortals, but rarely amongst witches. I guess that’s because we rarely fall in love. Though, when we do, we fall hard, as you probably know.”

Zelda snorts into the phone, nodding her head eventhough her brother can’t see her. 

“Witches don’t deal well with losing someone they love, just because it’s something so rare and special. And you did have all the symptoms.”

It does make sense to her. Her body never had a good way of dealing with stress or just emotions in general, she had found out about that ages ago. It just never occured to her that this might have been her body’s way of dealing with everything. 

When Zelda doesn’t respond, Edward asks her a simple question: “Are you happy now?”

She knows the answer to that in a heartbeat, it just takes her a while to say it out loud. 

“Yes, I really am.” Zelda finally answers. 

“I’m glad to hear that. Just...” she hears him exhale deeply, “Don’t stay away for too long, Zee. I need you here with me.” She might be imagining things, but she thinks she can hear his voice tremble, and if she didn’t know better, she would think he had tears in his eyes. 

“Of course. I’ll let be back before you know it.” Zelda can’t help but tear up a little as well, though just like her brother, she does everything in her power to hide it. 

“Good.” he chuckles sharply, “And your grades better be damn good as well when you get back.”

Zelda rolls her eyes, “You’re ruining the moment!”

“Alright, alright, I’ll pass your sister then.”

“I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, you will.” he bids her goodbye, and though she can’t see him, she can hear the smile in his voice. 

“Edward is crying!” Hilda shrieks into the phone a moment later and Zelda hears a loud ‘Am not!’

Zelda lets out a loud laugh, and then it really hits her:

She is happy. 

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


“Can I help you?” Lilith hears from behind her, and somehow the voice seems familiar, but she can’t quite place it. 

She turns around and is met by two green eyes and a kind smile, which quickly turns into a gaps: “Lilith? What are you doing here?” Naomi asks, before throwing her arms around Lilith and hugging her tight. It takes her a moment to respond, but once she does, the hug feels kind of nice. 

Once they part, she answers: “I just wanted to take a look around but I didn’t know you work here.”

Naomi narrows her eyes and crosses her arms in front of her chest, “Actually this is my antique shop. I’ve owned this place for centuries.”

Raising her eyebrows, Lilith replies: “Really? That’s quite impressive.”

“Thank you,” she smiles, “in the back of the shop is a special door that is invisible to mortals. You might want to take a look in there. It’s where all the fun stuff is hiding.” Her eyes sparkle with excitement, clearly proud of her shop. 

With that Naomi turns on her heel and disappears down a corridor, leaving Lilith alone in the middle of the shop. She decides to follow Naomi’s advise, and walks to the back. She sees a door which has a pentagram painted on it. It only takes her a few more steps to reach it, and after looking around to see if there isn’t anyone around, she enters the next room. She can feel all different kinds of magic vibrating in the air, as her eyes roam over dozens of shelves and tables that are filled with objects. Lilith hopes that she might be able to find a little present for Zelda. Surprising someone is something she has never been good at, but she is determined to change that. 

Lilith steps towards the nearest shelf and her eyes catch sight of a compass without a needle in it. 

_‘You don’t need anything to guide you. _

_Ps: Just kidding, get a fucking map.’_ reads a small note besides it. 

Her brows forming into a deep frown, Lilith sees a pen laying next to the compass. 

‘_Never runs out of ink_.’ is written on yet another note. 

Lilith looks around and sees small notes scattered everywhere. Every item has it’s own piece of paper with a small description of the object it belongs to. 

Then she sees a pack of long, red candles, and the paper next to it simply says: ‘_Candles_.’

On a table behind her, lays a single peanut. _‘Eat this to be able to talk to dogs. (You might want to think this through first)’_

Lilith chuckles and moves to another item, which is a small music box. ‘_Play this and the next person you ask for a dance won’t be able to say no’ _

That seems rather desperate to Lilith. 

She then spots a pair of beautiful, white gloves. ‘_Will never get dirty._’ 

‘_Boils water.’_ reads the note next to a kettle. 

Behind the kettle stands a box with tea-bags ‘_Adds flavour to boiled water_.’ 

Lilith can’t deny that she is amused by the items around her, but this isn’t why she had come to this antique shop in the first place. She turns around and decides to leave, when her eyes fall on a small, see through ball. Moving closer to it, she reads the paper that belongs to it.

_‘Shake to see some of your happiest memories.’_

That might be something good for Zelda.

She picks it up and exits the room, making her way over to the other part of the shop. It only takes her a few seconds to locate Naomi. 

“How much is this?” 

Naomi turns around and lifts one eyebrow at her, “Can’t remember the last time you were happy? Because, that’s the reason people buy that sort of thing.”

Lilith shakes her head, “It is not for me.” 

“Ahh, I see...” Giving her a knowing smile, Naomi says, “Just take it and go give it to your Zelda.”

“How do you-“

“Oh come on, it’s written all over your face!” Naomi grins as she taps Lilith’s nise playfully. 

Damn that girl. 

Lilith suddenly wonders when the hell she became so easy to read, but for some reason she doesn’t mind. At least not when it’s about Zelda. 

“We’re just friends.” 

Naomi snorts, “Right.”

“It’s the truth!” Lilith defends herself, but Naomi only pats her shoulder. 

“It won’t be the truth for much longer.”

Lilith crosses her arms, “How do you know that?”

“People who are still friends after they break up, are still in love with each other or never have been. And I don’t think the latter applies to you.”

It doesn’t, that’s for sure. But so what if they’re still in love? Does that mean they can’t be friends. 

“No it doesn’t mean you can’t be friends, it’s just more complicated, I guess.” Naomi says and Lilith mentally slaps herself for saying those particular thoughts out loud. 

Lilith sighs, “It’s already complicated.”

“I’m sure you guys will get through it together.” Naomi squeezes her arm reassuringly, “And if you need me, you know where I live.” she smiles as she gestures at the room around them. 

“Thank you, Naomi.” Lilith returns her smile and adds, “And thank you for this.” she says, holding up the ball in her hand. 

“No problem.” 

They hug each other goodbye, and after that, Lilith leaves. Things really are complicated between them, but she knows that in the end, Zelda is always worth it. 

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


Lilith turns up at Zelda’s hotelroom with the ball tucked under her arm. She has even bought some wrapping paper on her way there so it would look more like a present. 

Zelda greets her excitedly, as always, and without warning, Lilith pushes the gift into her unexpecting hands. 

“What’s that?” Zelda asks, looking at Lilith with curious eyes and fiddling the gift for a few seconds. 

The only answer Zelda gets is a shrug, “Unwrap it and find out.”

And so Zelda does. After tearing the paper apart, she holds the ball up and looks at it. “Does this have magic in it?” she asks, clearly feeling whatever spell it is Naomi had used on it. 

“Well done, my clever little witch.” Lilith compliments her and it nearly makes Zelda blush. 

She looks down and eyes the ball once more, “What does it do?” 

Lilith smiles at her, “When you shake it, it will show you some of your happiest memories. You can use it whenever you feel like you need a reminder of those.”

A wide grin creeps on Zelda’s face, before she literally throws herself into Lilith’s arms. Lilith is quick to catch her, but she still stumbles backwards and needs the wall behind them to steady herself. Zelda presses an eager kiss to her cheek, and lets her lips linger there for a few seconds longer than necessary. Lilith feels goosebumps form over her body and she only then realises how her hands are literally covering Zelda’s ass to stop her from falling. 

Zelda’s legs are wrapped around Lilith’s tiny waist as she whispers in her ear, “Thank you, Lilith.” It makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand up straight and a shiver roll up her spine. 

Lilith clears her throat akwardly, suddenly feeling a tiny bit uncomfortable, “You’re welcome.” she still manages to smile. 

Slowly, Zelda puts her feet back onto the floor and removes her arms from Lilith’s shoulders. “Let me buy you dinner.”

“You don’t have to-“ 

“I insist.” Zelda says, throwing her a look that tells her she won’t give in on this one. 

“Well in that case,” Lilith holds out an arm, and Zelda slips hers into it without further thinking, “lead the way, miss Spellman.”

  
  


Naomi’s words come flashing back to her, and it suddenly hits her that they were true. 

They could still be friends, but dear Satan, it was so much more complicated. 

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


A few days later, the two witches find themselves climbing a small hill in the park. Apart from them, there is no one around. Maybe that has got something to do with the fact that it’s three in the morning.

Zelda puts her small picnic basket on the grass and sits herself down, while Lilith copies her movement. Above them, the moon and billions of stars are shining brightly upon their faces. From the corner of her eye, Lilith sees Zelda smile at the sky and she can feel that very smile burning through her soul. Her face is bathing in moonlight and her skin seems to be glowing. She looks happy, and careless. It’s a look Lilith’s likes best on her. 

Somehow, the moon reminds her of Zelda. At times, she seems utterly unreachable, always running away and disappearing from the moment you close your eyes. A part of her is always hidden by some sort of mask, but on rare occasions, the mask falls off and Lilith is shown the real Zelda. The Zelda that does nothing but smile all day long. The one that likes to sing in the shower until her lungs run out of breath, and loves nothing more than to both receive and give hugs to the ones she loves. It’s a side Lilith rarely had seen, but ever since they are here in Australia, she has seen her more without her mask, than with it. Lilith likes it when Zelda doesn’t feel the need to wear it. 

Zelda turns her head towards Lilith, her smile still beaming on her face, and catches her staring. Her smile falters. 

“What’s wrong?” she asks, sounding worried. 

Lilith blinks a few times, before shaking her head, “Nothing, dear. I think my thoughts just wandered off for a minute.”

She still looks uncertain, but doesn’t mention it again. Instead she reaches in her basket and offers Lilith a strawberry. Lilith takes one off the plate and thanks her. They eat in silence, Zelda glancing at Lilith every now and then, and catching her do the same. Whenever their eyes meet, a shiver rolls down Zelda’s spine and she can’t help but grin like an idiot. 

Suddenly, music fills the air. Both witches look around to see where it’s coming from, and Lilith spots a group of people standing on the rooftop of a building. They’re all dancing and laughing. 

_“Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?_

_Ooh, heaven is a place on earth”_

Without hesitation, Zelda jumps up from her spot on the grass and starts singing along to the song that’s playing. It only takes her a second to move over to Lilith and pull her up to her feet. 

_“They say in heaven, love comes first_

_We'll make heaven a place on earth”_

“What are you doing?” Lilith properly shrieks as Zelda lifts her into her arms and spins her around. Both of them start giggling as Zelda drops her back onto her feet and takes her hands into her own. She starts dancing around, pulling Lilith with her. They might look like utter crackheads right now, but that’s fine by them both. 

The amount of butterflies Lilith is feeling in her tummy can’t be named with any word in any language. She feels like she is flying. Like she is flying above the clouds and into the sun. It’s a burning feeling, but it feels so awfully good. It hits her that she’d never expected to fall for Zelda, but she did, and she knows that she could never stop loving her, even if she wanted to. Lilith had fallen for her the moment they had a real conversation, but she had only realised it when she felt her heart flutter when Zelda had smiled at her. The way she wanted to touch Zelda’s lips with her own, and how she wanted to hold her every second of every day, simply couldn’t be mistaken for something else but love. 

She had fallen hard, but Zelda made her fall feel as if she was flying. 

Lilith had always been independent, not wanting to belong to anyone. But now, she wants nothing more than to belong to Zelda. To truly be hers. And she also wants Zelda to be hers. 

Even when they had been seperated for so long, nothing had changed. None of Lilith’s feelings had gone away, as a matter of fact, they had only gotten stronger. It’s scary. Not being able to look at Zelda without feeling absolutely smitten about everything she does, is a blessing and a curse. It’s a sensational feeling, but it also makes things so much harder. Sometimes Lilith thinks about how easy her life would be if she didn’t know Zelda. 

But, easy is boring. Lilith doesn’t like easy. 

  
  


_“You pull me close and we start to move_

_And we're spinning with the stars above”_

  
  


Suddenly, Zelda’s movements still. Her eyes are darting over Lilith’s face, trying to read it, but not seeming to manage it quite well. “You’re staring at me again.” she chortles, giving her a nervous glance. 

Again. 

Staring is something Zelda has caught Lilith doing quite often lately. 

Lilith gives her a small smile, “I was just thinking.” She squeezes Zelda’s hands a little tighter and pulls her a little closer. 

Zelda’s eyes seem to get lost in thoughts for a moment. They’re fixed on something behind Lilith, and her eyelids fall down. The grip of her fingers is loosening as her mind seems to move further away from reality. Lilith wonders what she’s thinking about.

Then, her eyes move back to Lilith’s. Licking her lips, straightening her shoulders and once again taking a good hold of Lilith’s hands, she admits: “I am sorry about everything.” 

She sounds determined. Like it’s the final time she’s going to say that particular phrase, and Lilith likes it very, very much. 

Pulling back one hand to place it on the side of Zelda’s face, Lilith replies: “And I forgive you. All of it.”

Zelda smiles and her eyes flick down to Lilith’s lips. For just a brief moment, the world seems to stop spinning and a thic layer of anticipation is the only thing keeping them apart. It’s intense and lingers in the air, but it passes soon and it only takes Lilith a mere second to respond and catch Zelda’s lips with her own, as their souls meet. 

It feels as if a piece of them is healing. A piece that had been broken from the moment they seperated. They had kissed after their relationship ended, but it had never quite felt like this. In the back of their minds, they had always known that those kisses had just been lust and desire. But this... This was a reunion. It was like coming home after being away for too long, and now they were planning to stay forever. There wouldn’t be a goodbye after this. This was just the start of many ‘Hello’s’. 

Zelda wraps her arms around Lilith’s neck, and one of Lilith’s settles on her hip. Their lips and tongues are moving slow, and gentle. Lilith tastes like forgiveness. Something Zelda has seeked for so long, though never from Lilith, but from herself. Forgiving herself is something Zelda had never deemed possible, but being around Lilith makes it easier. 

Pulling away, Zelda breathes heavily against Lilith’s lips: “Thank you for loving me when I couldn’t even love myself. And thank you for waiting.”

Before Lilith presses a chaste kiss against the corner of Zelda’s mouth, she answers “You’re worth the wait, darling.”

Zelda quickly tries to turn the kiss more heated, but Lilith slows her down, and presses a hand against the curve of her back. 

“I love you, Zelda.” 

Goosebumps form all over Zelda’s skin, as Lilith presses a kiss below her jaw. 

“And I love you.” Her voice trembles slightly, and a smiling Lilith continues to leave a trail of featherlight kisses over her neck. Then Lilith leans back up and captures Zelda’s mouth with her own. 

  
  


_“In this world we're just beginning_

_To understand the miracle of living_

_Baby, I was afraid before_

_But I'm not afraid anymore”_

  
  
  


***

_ **Epilogue** _

  
  


Six months after their reunion in Australia, Zelda’s eyes slowly open as she awakes. Her bedroom is still dark and quiet, which means dawn is yet to come. Zelda rolls onto her side and extends an arm, but the only thing she feels is the soft mattress against her skin. It’s still slightly warm, so Lilith hasn’t left long ago. After sitting up straight, Zelda swings her legs over the edge of the bed and stands up. She puts on her dressing gown, which had been laying mindlessly on the floor, and exits the room. Without making any noise, she carefully walks down the staires.

Once she’s standing at the bottom of the staires, she stops and listens intently. After a few seconds, she hears the sound of a whisteling kettle. As she walks into the kitchen, she finds Lilith standing by the stove, taking the kettle off the fire and pouring some water into a cup. She’s standing with her back facing Zelda, and apparently she hasn’t noticed her yet. 

Slowly, Zelda starts taking silent steps towards her and wraps her arms around Lilith’s waist. Unfortunately, Lilith doesn’t even flinch at the sudden contact. 

“Hello dear.” she greets her and a frown forms on Zelda’s face. 

“How did you know I was here?” 

A low snort emerges her throat, “It’s obvious. You always come after me if I leave the bedroom at night.” Lilith turns around in Zelda’s arms and settles her hands on her hips. 

Zelda smiles down at her. 

Since Lilith didn’t really have a house anymore, she had practically moved into the Spellman’s mortuary so she didn’t have to stay at the academy of the Church of Shadows any longer. They had decided that a little distance made the heart grow fonder, so Lilith hadn’t transferred back to the Academy of Unseen arts. And that place simply held too many bad memories for her.

Faustus’ body had been discovered while they were still in Australia. It was obvious that he had been sacrificed, but in order to keep the peace and not to alarm anyone of the coven, the case had been closed quickly without much investigation. The other students had been told that Faustus had gone to the Middle East for a better education. 

“You know I hate sleeping alone.” Zelda says truthfully, crinkling up her nose. Neither one of them slept at their academy anymore, and they hadn’t spend a single night apart from each other since they got back together. 

“I know.” Lilith leans up and presses a kiss on top of her head. “I was just thirsty.”

Zelda licks her lips ans raises her eyebrows suggestively, so Lilith quickly adds: “Thirsty for a drink! You dirty little minx.” Now, Zelda is pouting, but her lips curl into a wide smile after Lilith winks at her. “So if you could hand me my cup of tea, I would be very thankful.”

Her smile turns into a wicked glare, “How thankful?” she asks, looking sinfully smug. 

The promising look Lilith gives her in return is enough to make Zelda’s legs shake with anticipation, before she reaches out and takes Lilith’s cup off the counter. Lilith takes it, nodding her head in thanks and takes a large gulp. 

Zelda frowns, “Don’t you usually take your tea with sugar?” 

Rolling her eyes fondly, Lilith sighs contently, “Who needs sugar when they have someone as sweet as you?” 

Hitting Lilith’s arm playfully, Zelda laughs loudly. Her eyes shine brightfully and her cheeks turn a soft shade of pink. 

“You are the worst!” 

Lilith can’t help but chuckle, as she quickly puts her cup in the sink behind her. She spins them both around and takes Zelda in her arms, before dropping her on top of the kitchen counter. Zelda gasps before she starts giggeling, but the sound stops when her eyes lock with Lilith’s. 

They stare at each other for a few moments, before Lilith whispers: “I love you, Zelda.”

Zelda smiles shyly at her, “And I love you, Lilith.”

They kiss each other gently, and in that moment they both know that they had come a very long way to get where they are today, but they wouldn’t change a single thing about it. Not even if they could. 

  
  


In the end, it had all been worth it. 

  
  
  
  


_ **The end x** _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s it folks :( 
> 
> I really hope you liked the end, and I just want to say thank you to every single person that took the time to leave a comment, kudo or even a bookmark! 
> 
> And just thank you to everyone who has read my story and everyone who has stuck with me until the end. 8 months ago I would never have believed this story would get so much love, but here we are! 
> 
> Next up, I have a few Mambo Marie x Zelda one shots so maybe if you ship them you could check those out once I post them. And if you don’t ship them, that’s totally fine! I’m still planning on doing the Madam Spellman coffee shop AU as well and if anyone has any prompts or ideas, send them to me! Tumblr: immacryyowzah
> 
> I love you all so much, stay safe, don’t get Corona and most importantly: have an AMAZING day!!! 
> 
> See y’all around guys :)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this was bad, I know, BUT I’ve already written some of the following chapters and they are way better and longer so don’t give up on me yet :) 
> 
> I forgot to mention that I based the scene where Lilith faints on when I fainted a few months ago xD I thought it was funny to involve that experience. 
> 
> If you want to fangirl with me on Tumblr, come say hi! @immacryyowzah
> 
> Let me know what you think of it and hopefully I’ll see you in chapter 2!


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